Ok i dont know how to go abt this w/o sounding like a greedy spoilt brat… But how do u stop wanting??? like…i always want new stuff! clothes–makeup–shoes–bags…i feel like what i have is never enough, after some time, i just want more. Its not that what i have has deteriorated but that i just want more… I guess it could be worse, i cud be into technology, but still…makeup is my weak point, even though i’ve really gone bare-faced the last few months…i mean its not just abt wanting new makeup, but WHY i want so much… i mean where do u draw hte line between being normal and just being outta control???
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Well at least i'm observing my behaviour and trying to stop it... :(
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^omg.. i am the same way! or rather, used to be! one of my cousins got married this past summer and i must have spent over 6k just on clothes, jewelry and makeup! and i didn't even wear/use all of them.
i think when both my credit cards maxed out, i realized how much shopping i was doing! not just that, i started feeling so bad because i felt that a big part of the amount i spent on makeup and what not could have helped so many people. when i thought about that, i convinced myself not to get tempted. it's not easy i know. you go to the mall and there's soooo much that you wanna buy. just looking at those pretty colors and designs is tempting but i guess we all need to learn moderation.
next time, just think to yourself, ok so instead of buying this or this, i can save this money for charity or even for your future. lately, i have started to realize that spending all this money isn't gonna help me in the long run. i am one of those people who will keep spending until all the money runs out. so now i am tryin to save up so i can be secure financially in the future.
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^ xactly! like i try my very best to just not use CCs cz i dont work....
Around the end of last semester, i was good cz i dint have much free time, but then as soon as i had a few dyas off, i hit the shops and went nuts :( So i think being too busy to jst go shopping is what helps me, but nowadays my afternoons are so free.... :(
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i think adding things to your 'wishlist' on websites will help :P like go to the make up websites that tempt you the most and just look and sigh at them.. now i have to make sure we all keep a tab on you so that you dont over spend!
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find some hobbies and activities that you are passionate about that will remedy it
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shopping is not an activity/hobby?
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When you will have real responsibilites and priorities, that's when you will stop spending money on non-essential things.
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yep, and once there are other activities to take that time, u have less time for shopping.
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When you will have real responsibilites and priorities, that's when you will stop spending money on non-essential things.
if its a behavioral thing then no.
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Um i think it is behavioral. If I stay away from the shopping malls (i.e., stay busy with school work), then i can kinda control myself (well for a few months anyway).
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The solution that worked for me has also worked for people who have shared with me this problem they used to face in the past. I am sure Insha'Allah it would work for you as well, only if you are willing to follow the principle.
I never seemed to have enough pens with me even after I used to buy very expensive ones, same was the case with my brother who had hundreds of wrist watches but the moment he saw new ones displayed in the shop, he couldn't resist buying more.
The technique which worked for us and our heart stoped desiring more was:
We started to gift the ones we LOVED the MOST to our relatives, friends, childhood teachers....etc. Alhamdulillah! it worked by the grace and mercy of Allah (swt).
So whatever you feel like wanting more, pick up the best onee from them and gift to someone, it would kill the "desire for more" in your heart, "human nature". IT would not only act as** sadaqa-e-Jaria in a way** but also would increase your love in the heart of your beloved ones (according to a Hadith). As we all know there is no value of the two.
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this approach works if the things u have to give away are legal or not embarassing to give away :D
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this approach works if the things u have to give away are legal or not embarassing to give away :D
Ahm..well I forgot to mention that there are limitations to it.:D
Reminds me of a saying of Allah (swt) in the Quran. (May Allah forgive me if the wordings are not exact).
You cannot get a high degree in front of Allah (swt) till the time you don't give away in the way of Allah (swt) what you like the most.
p.s. Hint: Hazrat Ibrahim (a.s) ready to sacrifice his son when Allah (swt) asked for it. Allah doesn't ask us, He has left to us to give our our best "Legal" belongings which is also good for us in this life and life hereafter. If not the best than atleast those belongings which are extra and in a good condition.
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I'm not that kind-hearted:(
Sister, I am very sure that I am not more kind-hearted than you. You are alot better than me (mashaAllah). It is just the blessing of Allah (swt) who bless people with the will and strength to do so. Just pray to Allah and it would become easy for you. (Insha'Allah).
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Knowing you have a problem- is half the battle won.
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One of my colleague is in a habit of buying bags. Really expensive ones. Like $1000+ a piece. And i was like WTH, R u crazy ?? ... but she just can't stop. She told me that its some thing called '' being a woman'' :))
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you should'nt be discussing this thing here.
these factors are usually connected with our past.
so my suggestion is Face Your Fear!