Re: Want my hubby to be mine-Help plz
Op said she borrowed clothes (already stitched) and altered them a bit to her specs because Khala and op are similar size. Also, the Khala didn't say she can keep the clothes for good, she said she can keep the clothes for longer, and that she will take them back later. Anyway when u bring ur stuff to in laws it's ur stuff and u can do whatever u want with it. The mil was presumably pissed off k wo apnay "pichhlon" K upar stuff luta rahi hae.
Either way mil shouldn't hae been pissed off whatever she thought (if the clothes were OPs or not, she shouldn't have been angry because OP would have been giving her own suits to Khala and not any Bari suits that the guy had paid for). So basically what I'm saying is the MIL is crazy to think like this and to go to such lengths in order to protect her property (ie OPs property of suits!) from being "stolen". On top of that mil rummaged thru OPs stuff in her absence, found the suit, altered it!!!!! and then made her daughter wear it and then refused to return t when confronted!! Please tell me that's not 10 levels of crazy! Now since that has been established as a fact, if OP wants to continue her marriage she has to accept whole heartedly that her mil is crazy and she will have to live with till her husband can actually see it for what it is. That's it, theres no other solution. OP do u think that u can reason with ppl like this? If u do then u too have boarded the plane to loonyville.
So ur only solution is to go home. Stop this drama of having them come pick u. I mean what will it even mean? K unho nay hathyaar daal diyay haen? Aur ab wo aapsay Aur aapki Khala say maafi maangain gay? That pick up will be nothing but a taxi service clubbed with a telling off to ur parents. U think they won't create a scene when they come to pick u? Izzat isi Mae hae k araam say ghar chali jaain aap, unless u want ur parents baeizzati also done in their own house. No need to give into their Hijaab business (if u don't want to do it). U tell ur husband that if they are such upright ppl and they don't take other ppls stuff without asking (yeh right) then they should stand by their word (which multiple ppl are witness to) and not force u to do hijab. When ur husband b*tches about the clothes, talk to him calmly and ask him what exactly the problem is with the clothes. If they think the clothes were Urs and u were giving them to her, then they were ur clothes to give. If the clothes were hers and u were returning them then that was the right thing to do. But when does searching someone's cupboard, taking their clothes and giving them to someone else become right? And in some crazy world even if that is right then u have more right to give something of Urs to ur own blood relative!!!! How's that? If they think it was ok to give nand ur clothes then it should be ok for u to give ur Khala ur clothes... And then add that they are her clothes to begin with because of they were not then u would just shut up and keep ur clothes if ur mil had such an issue with u giving ur clothes away!!!! Omg what a long post... And I haven't even come to the part about him slapping u.
And plz go home and sort it with ur husband only. Don't indulge anyone else. Whatever they say keep quiet, go to ur room and talk to ur hubby. If its easier write everything down in an email and send it to ur husband. Cuz crazy ppl talking in his ear, u won't be able to get everything thru in a calm and composed manner. And tell him that u r a couple u r supposed to protect each other and cover each others short comings, he should try to portray u in a positive light in front of his family so everyone can try to live in peace, instead of going off and complaining to his mom about u!!! That makes it ten times worse. Tell him to resolve stuff in ur bedroom (without slapping) and not take it out in front of all the ghar waalay. Ull never be able to get any respect if he does that.
Actually, no...the khala gave OP unstiched suit pieces, and OP got them stitched on her own, as she and her khala are the same size. Khala came to her house and asked for the clothes back after OP returned from her honeymoon, but OP said she still didn't have any winter clothes to wear as her husband still hadn't bought her anything. Khala told her to hold on to them for a little while longer, then return them. MIL overheard the convo and assumed Khala was asking OP for her own clothes.
[QUOTE]
aur shadi se phly meri khala ne mjy apny 4 srdiyon k suit diay thy 4 my honey moon. Qk tb srdi k kpry market main nhi thy. aur un k pas unstich suit prhy thy last years k. so she gave me. maine unhain apny hisab se stich kra lia. coz my khala is as slim as im and can share clothes. Shadi k bad ek din meri khala mere ghr aai and I said her k apny kpry ly jain. bt tb tk mere hubby ne mjy sardiyon ki koi shopping nhi krwai thi. my khala said abi tm rkho I wil take them afterwards.
[/QUOTE]
I don't think it matters anyhow...the Khala, as the elder, should have just let it go and not caused such a ruckus over 4 measly suits. Aren't most Pakistani elders more careful of their actions in "beti ka ghar" anyway? I know my own Ammi put up with all sorts of nonsense from my inlaws in the beginning, just so as not to rock the boat. It as all trivial stuff anyway. OP and her family should know better. OP's inlaws shoudn't be so petty.
Everyone involved in this scenario needs to chill out and let the newlyweds figure things out themselves.
What's the need for the popularity contest OP? Every rishta has it's own place. Don't try to take your MIL's place, it's never going to happen. Instead, work on making your own rightful place in all of their hearts.
