Re: Wandering Eyes
what do you mean? didn't understand what your tryna say?.
Re: Wandering Eyes
It's just the same worry I would have if I was robbed. Sure the thief would be held accountable by Allah, but my rightful possessions were taken from me.
Sure at the end of the day, we all are judged by Allah for our actions. .
Demi no offence but it would be his eyes and at the end he is going to accountable for his actions front of god riiiight?. So why would you be worried if he is committed to you and still be with you despite of being so many women around?.
Re: Wandering Eyes
but being robbed and he is looking at other women are different things demi. Even in analogical terms. But i personally think women like you end up making a man run away. So lets not be so jealous and possessed.
Re: Wandering Eyes
^ just because a wife wants her husband for herself doesnt mean its her fault he would end up running away. completely illogical.
women should let their husbands wander around, but when it comes to second wife (btw a halal way) all of a sudden the same women get upset and start screaming. double standards or confused? both?
Re: Wandering Eyes
what do you mean? didn't understand what your tryna say?.
Following the logic "Its my eyes I would be held answerable for it, not you", if he starts talking to those girls and says to you "Its my lips + tongue and I would be held answerable for the use of my lips in front of God, not you" and then he starts shaking hands with them and says to you "Its my hands and I would be held answerable for how I used my hands, not you".......etc.
There is no limit to this process. Which is wrong. It might have been true before marriage, but not after when you share everything, even your soul with your partner.
Re: Wandering Eyes
Khan sahab woman can want husband for herself only . But there should be limits as how far you would want to control your husband. Even becharai ki ankhain are not spared. I personally know women who are not religious muslims but they are so over-protective about where their husband look at other women and admires her beauty this resort to dispute between her and the husband. In consequence, males would continue looking. My problem is when people play religious card to justify their behaviour to me this is wrong. Your husband is yours, who is committed to you, feed you and keep you secure. What else do these women want?
Re: Wandering Eyes
man, asking a husband not to think about other na-mehram women is having control over them?
if a wife asks her husband to stop staring at his friends wife, is she wanting control over him? if the husband stares and appreciates wives sister, its wanting control? you have go to be joking right
you 'in consequence' routine is your own speculation, and i disagree with it some of the treads here can support that
if the husband is committed to you then why in the world does he need to and keeps on staring at other women? what does he want/achieve from starting and appreciating? does it want them too? just lust? or what?
Khan sahab woman can want husband for herself only . But there should be limits as how far you would want to control your husband. Even becharai ki ankhain are not spared. I personally know women who are not religious muslims but they are so over-protective about where their husband look at other women and admires her beauty this resort to dispute between her and the husband. In consequence, males would continue looking. My problem is when people play religious card to justify their behaviour to me this is wrong. Your husband is yours, who is committed to you, feed you and keep you secure. What else do these women want?
Re: Wandering Eyes
khan sahab oggling vs just looking at other women are two different things. Oggling in creepy way is weird no question about that. What i am saying is, just looking. For instance, if my husband said so and so is pretty or she looks pretty etc. I honestly wouldn't mind because he is being honest with me.
Re: Wandering Eyes
^ Honest with you, and not honest with the one whose blessings upon him and you can't be counted ? (Allah didn't say just looking is ok. HE said lower your gaze)
Would Allah (swt) be happy with you that you are satisfied with your husband's disobedience towards Allah (swt), as long as your husband treats you well. (Isn't that selfishness). There is a hadith that a person would be held responsible for his family (if he encouraged them good deeds and discouraged them bad deeds, with wisdom)
If a man is very obedient and polite with me, but misbehaves with his mother. I would tell him that please don't be polite and kind with me but please at least show some respect for your own mother.
Re: Wandering Eyes
for all those women who claim they understand men in and out.... most women have no clue what men are, what goes in their heads and what they are actually capable of. br. RAW tell me if you agree with this or not. humans, men and women, are bound by two things - religion and law. in this particular case men have more bounds than women e.g. men are responsible to provide take care of women and children etc etc.
the truth is, and there is no question about it expert or non-expert, if men set free from religion and law they will turn out to be animals. literally. if they are not bounded by laws and religious accountability ask any man, he will never marry, he will never take the responsibility of taking care of children. world would literally be a jungle. when males are wandering around hunting and mating. thats it. women would be left to feed and protect their children. there would be no wives only mistresses and slaves. this is how men are genetically programmed just like all male species. some men are even capable of behaving like pigs.
Re: Wandering Eyes
^ Well said brother. JazakAllah khair for sharing. May Allah (swt) reward you for your sincerity for the love of Allah (swt).
Re: Wandering Eyes
who knows whether he is oggling or just looking. maybe with his guy friends he is even more elaborative. the point of discussion is where does all this what goes in a husband's mind is going and how does it affect the wife . where do you draw the line.
what would you do when one day he wants to be really honest?
khan sahab oggling vs just looking at other women are two different things. Oggling in creepy way is weird no question about that. What i am saying is, just looking. For instance, if my husband said so and so is pretty or she looks pretty etc. I honestly wouldn't mind because he is being honest with me.
Re: Wandering Eyes
^ Honest with you, and not honest with the one whose blessings upon him and you can't be counted ? (Allah didn't say just looking is ok. HE said lower your gaze) Would Allah (swt) be happy with you that you are satisfied with your husband's disobedience towards Allah (swt), as long as your husband treats you well. (Isn't that selfishness). There is a hadith that a person would be held responsible for his family (if he encouraged them good deeds and discouraged them bad deeds, with wisdom) If a man is very obedient and polite with me, but misbehaves with his mother. I would tell him that please don't be polite and kind with me but please at least show some respect for your own mother.
R.A.W your Prophet SAW and Quran demand this lowering gaze from believing Men and Women riiiight?. So how many believers do you see out there when it comes down to woman who is beautiful. Instruction is one thing lekkin amal karna kuch aur. In other words kon amal karta haii etna?.
Re: Wandering Eyes
RAW - the design on this world is such that it can be far worse for a woman than for a man. and this is where my problem lies. some women are ignorant of this fact. they think they are so empowered that they can rule, but no, sadly no.
anyway this another discussion we any have at a later time
^ Well said brother. JazakAllah khair for sharing. May Allah (swt) reward you for your sincerity for the love of Allah (swt).
Re: Wandering Eyes
Pakiqueen, a woman like me has a loyal and loving husband I appreciate to no end and vice versa. **So let's not be judgemental. You are entitled to let your man (if you have one, when you have one) oogle any woman you or he wishes to.
What about a woman like you?
**
but being robbed and he is looking at other women are different things demi.** Even in analogical terms. But i personally think women like you end up making a man run away. So lets not be so jealous and possessed**.
Re: Wandering Eyes
Khan sahab woman can want husband for herself only . But there should be limits as how far you would want to control your husband. Even becharai ki ankhain are not spared. I personally know women who are not religious muslims but they are so over-protective about where their husband look at other women and admires her beauty this resort to dispute between her and the husband. In consequence, males would continue looking. My problem is when people play religious card to justify their behaviour to me this is wrong. Your husband is yours, who is committed to you, feed you and keep you secure. What else do these women want?
It's not about control. If your husband does look around and appreciate other women then you have a bad lot in life because your husband doesn't automatically give you that respect. Every woman would wish her husband not do that, just the same as every husband would wish the same from his wife. Whether or not they voice those wishes are another matter. And a wife or husband who adheres to these unspoken or spoken wishes are appreciated by their spouses.
Re: Wandering Eyes
Pakiqueen, a woman like me has a loyal and loving husband I appreciate to no end and vice versa. *So let's not be judgemental. You are entitled to let your man (if you have one, when you have one) oogle any woman you or he wishes to. What about a woman like you? *
For a side note i didn't know you were married. My apologies if you were offended by my comments any way. A woman like me would let their man breath but doesn't mean he wouldn't respect me. Why? because i make i marry such man who respects me and cares for me at the end of the day. About letting my man oggle, as i said: oggling like awara is one thing and looking at making comment about it to me is another. I just like relationship where both partners are open to express themselves that is all.
Re: Wandering Eyes
RAW - the design on this world is such that it can be far worse for a woman than for a man. and this is where my problem lies. some women are ignorant of this fact. they think they are so empowered that they can rule, but no, sadly no. anyway this another discussion we any have at a later time
Do not make this woman only issue khan sahab. I personally know guys who act religious front of their wives but outside they are themselves. I am just saying because i do not want my man to be hypocrite in anyway. Besides there is more to life than looking at opposite sex.
Re: Wandering Eyes
I and my wife believe in "live and let live". I would wish that my wife always make my breathing difficult in this short life (if it means not letting me oggle other women) so that my breathing becomes easier in the grave (forever), inshaAllah, by the grace and mercy of Allah (swt). Because I don't wish to be in vice verse state.
This is just one example. I would wish the same in all other fields of life. As clear from hadiths, there are people in the grave suffering from punishments for their bad deeds. They would be cursing themselves and those relatives who didn't try to show them the right path in their life time, but no use now when its too late.
Re: Wandering Eyes
Appreciation of beauty is not something to be ashamed off. However acting on temptation when in a committed relationship is.
As everybody's mother always said: "Look but don't touch".