Wah re Auraaat!!

[Barfee]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

Nia and FF you guys dont know the reasons behind the uncles decision. End of story. Once you know, why you can curse him out all you want.

[nia_khan]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

Barfeee- after talking to her again she mentioned ‘abu ke muh se jaag nikal rahi thi for about 2 weeks’ and uncle knew about it. You tell me now do we need a certified notice from the hospital that man is dying in few days please send his daughter over- like Femme mentioned.

lazy_daisy! Yeah lazy i know things are changing but look at the price that we are paying for it. I see their relationship just like a track of train and kids connecting them from the middle.

Nikki! sab kuch sahi hai but in front of parents and especially when they are about to die. Just a thought for never ever having to see them again or never ever to hear their voice again etc - that thought should scare the crap out of them.

mehnaz & Femme both of you are becoming my favorite mods

amurgal; another pointless comment

Surrpise - Thanks so much for posting - I knew there are decent men out there - but the point here is which i often make- woman dont stand up for what they believe in or fight.

lazy - ** the Person who died would be in his seventies, people in their seventies get ill** - usually when you hear father or mother is really ill one should go and see them. Just wondering Khundakwasta - what would you do?

parisenoor- I am better of being all alone. If marrying someone means to kill my desires or wishes- I am better off where i am then.

[nia_khan]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

@Barfee

Nia and FF you guys dont know the reasons behind the uncles decision. End of story. Once you know, why you can curse him out all you want.

barfee - now i remember 4 yrs ago when aunty’s mother passed away - there was a similar situation at that time.

Uncle is extremely unreasonable and feels he is mr smarty pants. I don’t like it when people shove their decisions on others.

Barfee khudanwasta if iorni [your fiance] tells you, that you cannot go and meet your ill parent. What would you do.

[nia_khan]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

@Sahar02

for a long time (like 14-15 years) my khaloo would not let my khala interact with her family, eventho they all lived in karachi. even during the year when my nana was diagnosed with cancer and soon died from it, she was not allowed to go to the house. she couldn’t even visit her father as he lay dying.

she isn’t the kind to stand up for herself really (that’s more my mother) and has endured all the hell her inlaws put her through for the sake of her children. i get very angry just thinking about it, but i don’t know what advice to offer her.

for whetever reason, about 7 years ago, my khaloo finally allowed her to come visit again. we don’t know why, we are all just thankful. things are still somewhat restrained bc everyone is afraid of angering him, but so far, mashAllah it’s been okay.

why?
Disgusting…

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

Nia Nia Nia, this isnt about me or you anybodies daughters or your favourite mods

This is about a lady behaving the way she did because she has been brought up in a different way to us, has different values and traditions to us.

her values etc will die along with her... the daughters of most people on this forum ..perhaps everybody on this forum will not act like her

[Femme_Fatale]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

@Barfee

Nia and FF you guys dont know the reasons behind the uncles decision. End of story. Once you know, why you can curse him out all you want.

What are you on barfee? I havent cursed the uncle and if u actually read what i wrote, im holding the aunty accountable for not stood up for herself.

[danial]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

did nia miss Ashtray’s post,

[nia_khan]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

ImranQ- I guess i am not "touch me not" type - i am you touch me at your own risk type.
and your last comment *sheeesh - let those rumors go around *grin

danial- you don't need to meet someoen to hate them. WE all hate hitler dont we? we all hate osama dont we? majority of us hate bush dont we?

• as far as scaring you concerned. we just dont take crap. Oh we have known the family for over 10 years now.

[Mehnaz]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

This type of control is more common than people would like to think. There's one family here where they wouldn't allow their bahoo to visit her family when they were visiting her from overseas! Reason being that the other bahoo in the house was pregnant, so they needed to keep bahoo #2 at home to do the cooking and cleaning. Thus, she was forbidden from actually leaving the house to visit her family. If her family wanted to see her, they had to go to her house for tea but only for a limited time. That kind of crap is happening here amongst young women ... although they are recent immigrants from Pakistan. Doing khidmet for your in-laws is some what understandable, but not at the expense of being cut off from your own family.

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

did the lady not visit the said father because the mom in law didnt let her go?

[nia_khan]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

*mardo ki taraf se koi na koi representative to hona chahaey so here we are w/ ashtray! **Nia, buri baat. **

@ashtray

what kind of a sick, demented and sadistic behaviour is this? The poor woman just lost her parent and all you wanted was to show her that she is a failure of a person in life as well? I think the poor aunty is better off without having aquaintances like you.

*back off dude

• i think no one in their right mind would yell and scream the way i just told you to back off dude.
  There is no where in my post i mentioned anything about failure. I thought men don’t assume things but here assumptions and assumptions.

I highly suspect the authencity because the thread-initiator is a biased person, a known man-basher, and adds masala to strenghten her point more often than not.

Mashallah glad to see i have people following me around gupshup. Yeah i do bash every single one of them who have been unfair- bite me. **add masala **again assumption. If i wanted to add masala i would have made your chat already and distributed it among cafe people by now. And honestly speaking most people think whatever they hear in news or from 3rd party there is always masala. Try to think outside the box every now and then - things are much prettier.

If, for argument’s sake, the whole thing played out as portrayed, it is very uncommon. I invite all gs members to imagine their parents in such situation and see if their fathers will act like this? I have very traditional Pakistani parents and I cant ever think of my father acting this way. My mother is the typical portrayal of an obedient, self sacrificing desi woman, but she has her say in every matter at our house.

OKAY! is it me or you are totally lost.

I am sure such things, including wife beating and other cruelities against women are real and do happen, everywhere in the world. This does not mean that all men are bad and all women are being wronged. Otherwise the world wars would have had men against women, instead of nations.

Please dont use this one incident to glorify women and hate men. Shukria

I did not mention that all men are bad. You simply assumed or may be woke up on wrong side of the bed.
snap out of it ashtray. You sat down and wrote all the personal attacks you have issues with me bring it up straight forward.

I did not claim here all men are bad- I said and will say it again i cannot stand this mentality - heck i even blamed women for this “wah re aurat”. Yeah besides the fact uncle acted like a jack if aunty would have raised her voice 30 yrs ago things would not have gone this far.

This entire thread was on how every single step of woman’s life she has to give up things, sacrafices pe sacrifies, she has to think about others before she thinks about her self. Why is that? is it fair?

What part of this you dont get it - aunty will never see her father again he is all gone far some where. When a woman has a father on her head she feels secured. She feels she has someone looking over.

[ashtray]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

@danial shah

did nia miss Ashtray’s post,

zaleel aadmi, I am blaming you for all the abuse I took in the post above

[Afshi]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

i totally agree with Mehnaz (as usual ;))...u coudl take the man out of the village, but cant take the village out of the man....same thing happened to my pohpoh....

my dad, chacha, pohpoh and their respective spouses all went to pakistan for a wedding and to visit my dadaba and dadima.....the only sibling that didnt go was my one other pohpoh..my dadaba was 106 (may he be granted jannat), and no body knew when they will see him again...anyways, this pohpoh's paindu hubby did let my pohpoh go to pak to visit her parents (it had been 5 years since she saw them....but he himself goes practially every year for months at a time)....and from what i could tell, my pohpoh didnt even seem to mind..its like she was siding with her hubby (even though everyone was telling her to go..)...well anyways, they all came back and my dadabu passed away a few months later...and now my pohpoh regretted not going soo bad....
and recently my dadima got really sick , so my dad went to pak..and told this pohpoh to come too...but again the paindu hubby said no....man, thats just crazy!!!!

p.s my dado is fine now...thank god...

[aishaA]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

[quote]
my Dad sent my mom to Pakistan right away,

sent my mom right away. My mom dint even ask for it.

[/quote]

Maybe this the attitude we can change...

Why is the mom getting sent here and there? Aren't they partners, making decisions together... rather than one telling the other what she should do?

PS: Not picking on anyone...

[yourfriend]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

@nia_khan

Yourfriend! I understand women per "Typical Desi mentality" was born as a second class citizen and to serve men [atleast this is what i am getting from your posts]. But i have a question to ask- Would you ever khundakwasta would want your daughter to be in this situation? once again Khundakwasta...

I am being practical - I do not take BS - I honestly have NO patience and tolerance for crap like this.

'rare lucky partners' - very interesting term there you used 'rare'. I wonder why is that? What was it that went wrong years ago which has made them so rare?

yourfriend point here was not to discuss how close aunty was with ther father. The point is she had to forget about her father and listen to her husband. He takes the charge makes all the decisions. I cannot digest that.- its morally and religiously wrong SIMPLE.

what do you think, I would be expecting my daughter to visit me at the cost of her relationships with her husband?? NO, I would NOT expect her to pay me a last visit and to jeopardize her relationships afterwards. I will be dying anyways, then why should I leave her in condition (or in misery) if her husband isn't allowing her to see me because of any genuine or illegitimate reason.

main nay zindagi main aisay bolonay walay baray loog dekhay hain.... par WAQT aanay per sab ki boltii bund ho jatii hai.

you are asking this Just For the Sake of Argument. I have no answer to this, and once you will familiarize yourself to 'Family affairs 101', you will be surprised to know that you would not have any asnwer to this either.

Yes, I know its wrong ..you know its wrong... everyone else know it is wrong... yet We still do it.

P.S. this 'dependent lady' calculated her future and choose to stick with her husband's decision. YOU need to digest it. :)

The End

[nia_khan]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

yourfriend! First off its sad you would put your daughter in hands of a man who would not even care about her emotions.

I am sorry yourfriend but because of women like yourself we are having these issues. Who simply give up and accept things the way they are. I dont know if you have heard this. zulim karne wale se zulim sehne wala zeyada barha mujrim hai.

I can only imagine how life has treated you and literally left you with no hope.

[quote]
main nay zindagi main aisay bolonay walay baray loog dekhay hain.... par WAQT aanay per sab ki boltii bund ho jatii hai.

[/quote]

yourfriend now i can easily say this to you. its easy for you to sit there like a puppet and let other play with you.

as far as family affairs are concerned. I can tell you one thing for sure issues like these wont be happening and now perhaps i can teach you Women's Right 101 / Speaking up 101 as well

Stop with this NONSENSE.

[quote]
The End
[/quote]

PERIOD! or others may call it FULLSTOP.

mehnaz- sorry yar- i tried to be nice but i could not help it :~)

[Nilu]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

That's typical desi thing hate that.
Im glad that some lady's are strong and dont let
this happen to them self.

[danial]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

@ashtray

zaleel aadmi, I am blaming you for all the abuse I took in the post above

thank you thank you, there was too much soft spoken hate. i had to remind em of it.

[ashtray]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

@nia_khan

*mardo ki taraf se koi na koi representative to hona chahaey so here we are w/ ashtray! **Nia, buri baat. **

*back off dude

• i think no one in their right mind would yell and scream the way i just told you to back off dude.
  There is no where in my post i mentioned anything about failure. I thought men don’t assume things but here assumptions and assumptions.

Mashallah glad to see i have people following me around gupshup. Yeah i do bash every single one of them who have been unfair- bite me. **add masala **again assumption. If i wanted to add masala i would have made your chat already and distributed it among cafe people by now. And honestly speaking most people think whatever they hear in news or from 3rd party there is always masala. Try to think outside the box every now and then - things are much prettier.

OKAY! is it me or you are totally lost.

I did not mention that all men are bad. You simply assumed or may be woke up on wrong side of the bed.
snap out of it ashtray. You sat down and wrote all the personal attacks you have issues with me bring it up straight forward.

I did not claim here all men are bad- I said and will say it again i cannot stand this mentality - heck i even blamed women for this “wah re aurat”. Yeah besides the fact uncle acted like a jack if aunty would have raised her voice 30 yrs ago things would not have gone this far.

This entire thread was on how every single step of woman’s life she has to give up things, sacrafices pe sacrifies, she has to think about others before she thinks about her self. Why is that? is it fair?

What part of this you dont get it - aunty will never see her father again he is all gone far some where. When a woman has a father on her head she feels secured. She feels she has someone looking over.

Yar Nia, I was thinking of replying to your post but then I thought if Allah made you stupid, why should I try and change that. You know masheeat-e-eezdi ke khilaf nahi jana chahiye.

[LuxuryItem]

Re: Wah re Auraaat!!

^

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA