Re: Upset..need advice
I didnt let her or ask her to do. It was done in my absence!one wouldnt expect others to go trough ur inbox if u have forgotten ur phone while u r not there
yeah and in such case u either joke it off or set them straight, but dont just take it.
btw how old are you just so we keep that in mind, and how long have u been married.
Re: Upset..need advice
^^
hey its my birthday this Sunday…im turning 23…:rotato:…:rotato:…
Re: Upset..need advice
I am 27..been married for 1 year...
yeah one should react rightaway but I guess I m afraid of my SIL and thats why I just dont say anything and get 'paralyzed' when something happens....
Re: Upset..need advice
^^
woah…ok 'baji’ jee…:halo:
Re: Upset..need advice
hehehe..but I look like 23;)
Re: Upset..need advice
^^
im sure u do........:p
Re: Upset..need advice
^^
im sure u do........:p
hehehe...;)
Re: Upset..need advice
hahaha so nu think cuz u say it to ur bhabi whom u have a good relationship to, then all the other women who says that to their bhabis must be joking too...
when this was said to me we werent even engaged and it was said in a context that wasnt really joking or making fun....
It amazes me how ppl in here react according to their own experiences only. It would actually be nice to try to see things from another perspective as well.
and btw I dont think its a fun thing to say to ur bhabi that u wud look for 2nd wife to ur bro if she is new into ur family.
its different if u guys have known each other for ages and she knows u well enough to laugh at this weird joke !!
What did you say to her when she told you to help her look for a second wife?
What was your reaction?
Re: Upset..need advice
^^
she blanked..
Re: Upset..need advice
The approach of blanking will not be good enough. Obviously her approach is not working for her, whether its right or wrong.
Re: Upset..need advice
I think your SIL is acting like that because she hasnt been laid for long time. Must find a husband for her so he can do her good.
Re: Upset..need advice
this SIL of urs sounds horrible. the best thing to do is not say anything to ur husband but to ur SIL directly. i had a sitiation myself and i confronted her directly and it worked out and she has never said anything to me since then. they just think no one will confront them cuz of scare tactics but if u have the guts to stand up and say something firmly she wont take advantage of u again. tell her u are newly married and need to spend time alone and are not ready to take care of a kid. she had the kid its her problem. helping out once in a while for a day is fine but for weeks on end? no way. and where is she going anyways? id really like to know that? is she going on vaca? does anyone REALLY know where shes going on these long trips? id find that out first and see if u can use that to ur advantage. cuz ppl dont always say what they are really doing. husbands always take thier sisters sides. tell ur husbabd what hapens after u talk to her. and then tell him that if hes not gonna stand up for u then whats the pt of being married? tell him to get over it and stand up for you from now on or u never will stand up for him and hes not gonna like it when the time comes. good luck!
Re: Upset..need advice
I think your SIL is acting like that because she hasnt been laid for long time. Must find a husband for her so he can do her good.
.....damn woman ur good
Re: Upset..need advice
lisun to her …shes on a roll…
Re: Upset..need advice
ohh right now I am on a break from all this. she is out of country so I cant bother...
she is on some religious camp sort of thing. she usually shows pics when she gets back so I am sure she doesnt lie about where she goes...
Re: Upset..need advice
jeez! being married sux for some.
Re: Upset..need advice
Again, you are resorting to the same tactics you complain about. What exactly are you insinuating with this comment? Where else do you suspect she goes?
I have zip pity for you. If anyone spoke about me like this, I wouldn’t give them the time of day. If you behave like this in real life, then I’m not surprised that she treats you the way she does.
Re: Upset..need advice
it is hard to believe that it does not occur to your husband to be fair to his sister's attitude by openly discussing with her, that his own married life is suffering because of her actions.
and also, the responsibility lies on you to make his sister realize that she is respected as a sister in law, as a family member and as an elder even, but she cannot get away with her bad treatment for the two of you.
when people act behaviorally selfish, you must separate the smoke screen of (lehaz) and as politely as you can let them know that they could be the most cared for, only if they cared to deserve it.
some people are ignorant, they are selfish because they have not been able to ever appreciate kindness.
if you are honest and kind to them, in the relationship of a daughter/ sister in law, and do not let them take away your best behavior, then they will realize sooner or later that you are patient with them, and that they must do their part in being like wise OR they make it that much more harder for their son/brother to get rigged on the way.
choice is theirs, after you have done all you can or could to tolerate their unfair behaviors.
best,
Dushwari
Re: Upset..need advice
PCG I am really amazed of your jumping to conclusions and judgemental attitude.
What I wrote was a reply to someone asking and advising me this:
“tell ur husbabd what hapens after u talk to her. and then tell him that if hes not gonna stand up for u then whats the pt of being married? tell him to get over it and stand up for you from now on or u never will stand up for him and hes not gonna like it when the time comes. good luck!”
and to that I wrote that I cant bother right now as she isnt in town…so its not really even possible to talk to her
" and where is she going anyways? id really like to know that? is she going on vaca? does anyone REALLY know where shes going on these long trips? id find that out first and see if u can use that to ur advantage. cuz ppl dont always say what they are really doing."
So my reply was that she goes on religious camps and since she usually shows pictures I am not doubting about that and neither would I want to doubt it!
So if you arent able to see the logical reply to the advice given to me and have zip pity for me, wll good for you!cuz I am not here for pity’s sake. I am here to ask how to move on and I am so sorry to see your posts in this thread cuz the only thing u have been doing is attacking me without even understanding the problems and challenges.
I hope that you reply once you have understodd what is written and in which context its written in instead of attacking without any reason!!!
Re: Upset..need advice
jeez! being married sux for some.
Marriage itself is beautiful. I think that the external disturbances are hard to deal with. especially when one wants to keep hubby happy and feels that the external ppl dont give a damn and just want things their way.
Otherwise marriage is a blessing so be happy:)