sparrow i know it can be hard. especially when mil gets her own daughter kick ass suits but gives you see through and cheap ass stuff.
i would just tell her in a polite way and if she doesn't stop just start returning them to her.
yeah chanda.... it feels really bad but thankfully MIL has no daughter. :) though i agree with u i dun think its a gud idea to return her the gift! not only will she feel v v v bad and have a wrong image abt me, my hubby is gonna KILL me!!
Re: Unwanted Gifts from in-laws
i would say just accept them , dont fight with your hubby , and look for charity where you can give thse clothes away. not much hassle is it? dont let your ego hurt you, coz not everyone has the same choice or standard , what seems standard to you might be tacky to others and it can be likewise ... so just be neutral and dont bother too much
However when I am giving a gift to anyone I try my best keeping ones personality in my mind............. and majority likes my gift even sometimes it is more then their expectation....................
I think, and I may be mighty wrong, that you have serious issues. You are using gifts, not as a genuine gesture of love, but to manifest your superiority over others. I am pretty sure that there are others who are complaining about your gifts behind your back.
If i dont like anything that my ammi gets me, i usually tell her. She once spent a couple of hundred dollars on buying me some jewlery that i knew i would never ever wear. I asked her to exchange it for something else. At the moment she was offended but she eventually forgot about it. And every single time i wear the replaced item, i get compliments on it.
You are raised by your ammi, so it highly improbable that you will dislike things given to you by your mother. Most of your tastes are actually reflection of your mother's tastes, leaving aside the differences in taste because of age.
Also if you don't like something from your mother, you will never get offended.
^ yes definitely the thought counts
but sometimes if that thought or intention is not "right", theN it's easy to get frustrated. but for that, you really have to know htose people extremely well to even have any clue about their intentions.
Sara, with in-laws, you can easily make wrong judgment?
What i don't understand is if they are going to go to all this trouble to buy me 6/7 suits and waste time, effort and money...why can't they just either ask me what i like or just buy 1 decent suit instead of all these suits i will never wear.
The Eid suit she gave me even had a hole on the top of the sleeve and it wasn't MIL's fault but the material was so light it was bound to happen. Then one of the suits she gave me and i opened it in front of her... was so bad that it was stuck together and i had to gently pull it apart without ripping it.
To answer some of your questions.
My MIL doesn't wear very nice clothes herself but occationally wears really nice stuff.
I did not have an arranged marraige.
My MIL only has 3 sons who i must add are extremely well dressed and extremely fashion concious.
Also, i know you will all slate me for being big headed but i know that one of the reasons my MIL loves to show me off to her friends is because of the way i look and dress....her friends always always comment on how nice my clothes are and one of them even asked my MIL if i could take her daughter shopping for her wedding. So bacially MIL knows about the type of clothes i wear.
I know you all are right that i should be grateful and i really love my inlaws...every year for my MIL's birthday i buy her Gold earings, necklace, rings...i only buy gold for her. For her son's i always get them what they want...i ask them what they need.
My MIL wears all the gold i give her and always tells me that her friends were asking where i bought it from...one of them even had the design copied....by the way i've never given my own mum anything like that.
Ira, Gemini the Great, Stylical, haimeradil and Mall......you get me don't you?
What i don't understand is if they are going to go to all this trouble to buy me 6/7 suits and waste time, effort and money...why can't they just either ask me what i like or just buy 1 decent suit instead of all these suits i will never wear.
The Eid suit she gave me even had a hole on the top of the sleeve and it wasn't MIL's fault but the material was so light it was bound to happen. Then one of the suits she gave me and i opened it in front of her... was so bad that it was stuck together and i had to gently pull it apart without ripping it.
To answer some of your questions.
My MIL doesn't wear very nice clothes herself but occationally wears really nice stuff.
I did not have an arranged marraige.
My MIL only has 3 sons who i must add are extremely well dressed and extremely fashion concious.
Also, i know you will all slate me for being big headed but i know that one of the reasons my MIL loves to show me off to her friends is because of the way i look and dress....her friends always always comment on how nice my clothes are and one of them even asked my MIL if i could take her daughter shopping for her wedding. So bacially MIL knows about the type of clothes i wear.
I know you all are right that i should be grateful and i really love my inlaws...every year for my MIL's birthday i buy her Gold earings, necklace, rings...i only buy gold for her. For her son's i always get them what they want...i ask them what they need.
My MIL wears all the gold i give her and always tells me that her friends were asking where i bought it from...one of them even had the design copied....by the way i've never given my own mum anything like that.
honey..... feelso bad for u... loads of hugs to u :) after readin this post it has become v clear that she is, infact, aware that u dress really well and ur clothes are stylish (and no, atleast i dun think ure big headed cus even i think i dress pretty well cus i match the accessories to shoes beautifully!!). so the qs is, she knows ur standards are high but still gives u cheap stuff... really makes me wonder... cus in my MIL's case i think shes not aware how stylish i m cus honestly, when i m in pak i dun take alot of clothes and shoes etc so i dun wear the best clothes and i HATE changing clothes every single day at home (the norm in pak!) i wear atleast a shalwar kameez for 2 days(unless i m goin somewhere) and then change... i dunno if thaz ok but its me and i think its pretty normal. so my case is different, she wud never realise how stylish i m until her relatives(here in UAE) tell her...( i m sure they have realised i dress v well!)
i dun wanna sound mean... but really, maybe she just wanna piss u off u know! i understand its pure waste of money... but what can we do!
the shockin thing which i found in ur post is that her sons dress pretty well so the standard is infact maintained there! oh well... maybe she buys clothes that she wud buy for herself (read: tacky!) my hubby says that too and i m never in mood to believe that!!!
Ira, Gemini the Great, Stylical, haimeradil and Mall......you get me don't you?
ofcourse yar... i get u! didnt u read my earlier posts? :)
btw where do u live and where ur MIL lives?
I think, and I may be mighty wrong, that you have serious issues. You are using gifts, not as a genuine gesture of love, but to manifest your superiority over others. I am pretty sure that there are others who are complaining about your gifts behind your back.
hey WD, i dun think she said anything that implied that she wants to "buy" their love or wanna show her superiority when she buys gud stuff as gifts(infact it shows a v positive trait that everyone shud have) all she said was that she makes sure she knows the personality(and likes and dislikes) of the person she is giving gift too... which is v thoughtful and nice of her... sometimes, well... most of the times, i do that too. why gift someone somethin they will throw in the bin???? i just dun get this mentality. one shud buy somethin really nice and of gud standard esp if u KNOW that the person's standards and lifestyles dun allow tacky and cheap quality stuff! its all abt respect u know.
ofcourse yar... i get u! didnt u read my earlier posts? :) btw where do u live and where ur MIL lives?
yeah mall ofcourse i read everyones posts and you girls were the ones who could relate to what i am trying to say.
If my husband said to me in private, when we are alone that... "yes they are awful clothes lets just forget it" then i would move on but he says..."oh c'mon they're not that bad..." sometimes he even says that they are quite nice!! so that's why i get frustrated!
I live in London and so does MIL she live about 2 minutes away from me!
And i just want to add that she has been a wonderful MIL to me but i feel she just has something against wanting me to look nice or have nice things.
Re: Unwanted Gifts from in-laws
trash them, and dont fight with hubby, he can't do anything about it.
yeah mall ofcourse i read everyones posts and you girls were the ones who could relate to what i am trying to say.
If my husband said to me in private, when we are alone that... "yes they are awful clothes lets just forget it" then i would move on but he says..."oh c'mon they're not that bad..." sometimes he even says that they are quite nice!! so that's why i get frustrated!
I live in London and so does MIL she live about 2 minutes away from me! And i just want to add that she has been a wonderful MIL to me but i feel she just has something against wanting me to look nice or have nice things.
hmmm.... ur post got me thinkin really deep.... why wyd she not want u to look nice when she shows off ur stuff to friends and shows u off as well?? i think if someone is nice to me then they wudnt b jealous and mind that i m lookin gud... that dusnt make sense!
even i hate when my hubby dusnt admit they r awful..... u know deep inside them they are aware but they dun wanna bash their momma! i can relate to you cus ive had these prbs since a v long time.
so where dus ur MIL get clothes from for u?? i thot she was in pak and sendin tacky clothes? i thot in london ull b able to find gud stuff... amazing.
I do Sparrow! 
I really think your MIL has bad taste or she cant afford what you like. Thank God my MIL has really really good taste. And i know she always does her best.
Yikes! that really does suck…believe me :no:
Wow… that’s a twisted way to look at it… 
hey WD, i dun think she said anything that implied that she wants to "buy" their love or wanna show her superiority when she buys gud stuff as .....................
Yes. I did read, actually, what she had written.
Gift is an expression of love and affection, regardless of its value.
What I wrote was based on my understanding and observation and as I said, could be totally wrong.
No just accepting that there are different perceptiosn of ones actions.
I’d elaborate but i think i already said it so many times in here 
Re: Unwanted Gifts from in-laws
Sparrow, I know what you mean about preferring one nice suit over several bad ones. In my case I end up wearing them to make them happy but I might not wear them in front of other people, only at home. But my case is different because I live with my ils. Your story sounds like one of my friends who also had a love marriage and she takes a lot of care in her dressing and she has a certain standard and she's blunt too. When she was getting married she told her ils not to give her anything because she had her own taste in desi clothes. She didn't want them wasting money on clothes that she wouldn't wear anyways. I'm sure they didn't take it too well but since their son was set on marrying her, they backed off. I think they give her money now to buy her own clothes if they want to give her something. I guess you've tried talking to them so I suppose your only hope is your husband talking to them and telling them they're wasting their money. Good luck.