Re: Unfortunate Story
I think the case is more that she suffers from histrionic personality disorder.
Re: Unfortunate Story
Oh dear, rapidly heading towards the inevitable :(
What will happen with my life now :s
Re: Unfortunate Story
Another perfect example of when to get elders involved. The joy of an arranged marriage is that elders give their blessings and are there to be a buffer between husband and wife when needed. This brother of yours should be well aware that hsi bhabi is focusing on him too much also and so you should put it all out there on the table. your parents will hit your brother for being a moron and feeding into this stupid larki and her parents will surely get a call about the way she's disgracing them by being so dismissive to her husband especially while she's living with him and getting that opportunity to live in a country that so many other pakistani people would die for. Sounds like a spoiled girl to me, that is if this story really is the way you're saying it. Also I've seen it happen a lot when the person from the west brings the person from the east that they carry a candle for some old love of theirs and sometimes when their greencard and such is set they leave their marriage for their childhood sweetheart, make sure you're not being used for the opportunity that you can give her.
Re: Unfortunate Story
Another perfect example of when to get elders involved. The joy of an arranged marriage is that elders give their blessings and are there to be a buffer between husband and wife when needed. This brother of yours should be well aware that hsi bhabi is focusing on him too much also and so you should put it all out there on the table. your parents will hit your brother for being a moron and feeding into this stupid larki and her parents will surely get a call about the way she's disgracing them by being so dismissive to her husband especially while she's living with him and getting that opportunity to live in a country that so many other pakistani people would die for. Sounds like a spoiled girl to me, that is if this story really is the way you're saying it. Also I've seen it happen a lot when the person from the west brings the person from the east that they carry a candle for some old love of theirs and sometimes when their greencard and such is set they leave their marriage for their childhood sweetheart, make sure you're not being used for the opportunity that you can give her.
Agree entirely about the spoiled part, re childhood sweethart - god only knows.
All I know is that I have been taken for a ride good and proper, the saying is to treat those how you would like to be treated, I guess not everyone believes this.
Re: Unfortunate Story
so sharklaser2 what are your plans to deal with this.
Re: Unfortunate Story
Divorce is the only real option at the end of the day, massive breaches of trust, treating husband like a total piece of dirt not worth bothering with.
Almost makes it seem as though there was other interests before marriage and I didn't match them.
Re: Unfortunate Story
*................whow what a LO$ER .....
omg i feel really sorry for u ...and i'm surprised u still have so much tolerance for her (especials in this kind of matter)...anywayz she's really lucky to have a guy that loves her that much , but she doesnt see that now....anyhow ...i hope you life gets better... i cant give u any sort of advise in this kinda of matter , cuz obviouszly u yourself are more aware of the things around u and know whats best to do. Why dont u talk to ur bro?.. anywayz hope your wife stops being a LO$ER *
Re: Unfortunate Story
How is your relationship with your brother, do you trust him now?
Are you and your wife still on speaking terms?
Re: Unfortunate Story
Theres always two sides of the story.
So far you've only heard one side of the story.
I don't think divorce is a good idea since you haven't really had time to be alone together.
Re: Unfortunate Story
How is your relationship with your brother, do you trust him now?
Are you and your wife still on speaking terms?
Brother is fine. Wife disappeared from home after I told her to get lost, her parents know where she is but claim they don't as they want to come here and speak to us. She has family here too.
Theres always two sides of the story. So far you've only heard one side of the story.
I don't think divorce is a good idea since you haven't really had time to be alone together.
Time alone, we went for umrah for two weeks, nothing really improved situation wise came back to the same old crap. I don't think she is very religious at all, was swearing away in ihram, talking vulgar things. When we got to haram I happened to mention that we are so lucky to come here at such a young age, her response, thieves and robbers come here and to umrah too. Once I made the preposterous suggestion that we should pray together, but she doesn't like my way of prayer.
Realistically this guy she's been speaking to behind my back, why would that change if we were alone, heck she wouldn't want to be alone with me to start with. We sleep in separate rooms, sit in separate rooms. I told her parents of her behaviour and then it just became a game of "if I don't go with you to the cinema, you will tell my parents about it" this isn't an ideal scenario and is completely unworkable.
Re: Unfortunate Story
did she run away with him yet?
Re: Unfortunate Story
Dude, just divorce her and get it over with. What's with the long drawn out saga?
Re: Unfortunate Story
^because he is a troll.
just like you.
Re: Unfortunate Story
sharlaser2 i think u have been dealing with this very well. its not easy when someone u have dedicated part of ur life to does this, its hurtful and u end up feeling deceived even though u have done nothing wrong.
inshAllah u will get thru this and realise there is a better world and better people out there. dont let this put u off meeting someone else.
Re: Unfortunate Story
sharlaser2 i think u have been dealing with this very well. its not easy when someone u have dedicated part of ur life to does this, its hurtful and u end up feeling deceived even though u have done nothing wrong.
inshAllah u will get thru this and realise there is a better world and better people out there. dont let this put u off meeting someone else.
I do agree, I feel used and abused, as I dedicated 100% of myself to the marriage :(
Anyway look to the future, I hope to find someone with a greater sense of islamic value in them rather than what I have suffered.
Re: Unfortunate Story
Officially over, just have to finish the 90 days iddah period and I get closure.
Now how does one deal with society's prejudices against divorcees :(
Re: Unfortunate Story
Don’t worry about the society. I myself got divorced 3 years ago and believe me society doesnt say a word if you are strong yourself. Everything happens for good. You will realize with the passage of time. Time is the best healer 
Re: Unfortunate Story
You let her walk all over you....and she did!
Its as simple as that...be a man or be the 'other man' in her life forever!
Re: Unfortunate Story
VV good point.
Re: Unfortunate Story
Well you guys are over, lets not share her secrets so that ALLAH keeps ur secrets on day of judgement. She was a bad experience, make sure u learn something from this and move on :)