Unfortunate rishta stories.

hmmm what was he getting out of this all this time... if they didnt even see eachother.

Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

well they were cousins. off course they use to see each other. even if they were not dating , they used to be together as a couple on family gatherings. what did he get out of this ? Well , common sense tells me that he was wasting her time because he did not want to marry her as he was already married.

heyy,

usually guys waste ur time like this if theyre having a physical relationship with you. which is not the case with ur cousin, so thats y i wondered y the hell would he waste her time... for what :s

Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

just a word of caution to girls living abroad: hire a private detective to do the checking. I'm not joking. Will post what happened to my cousins and my friends when they just checked through relatives. I swear, hire a detective just for a month, and it will save you a lot of heartache! even if it sounds stupid, just take my advice girls!

wow, this was an interesting and fun thread to read.

here’s my share:

a few years back there was this one rishta someone told my mom about. the guy was religious, was finishing up his masters and was from the same state my family lived in. his mom called my mom- they discussed stuff and felt that the next step should be for us two to talk before anything else. so both moms exchanged our cell numbers and i was told to expect a call from him soon. great. i was used to my mom doing this, so i was open to it.

a few days later i get a call…some auntie is on the other line. turns out it is his MOM and the cell number she exchanged with my mom was HER cell, not her sons! sooo she interviews me over the phone asking allllllll kinds of questions. trying to be polite, i answer and try to wrap up the phone interview. she’s chitty chatty and i guess impressed with my answers so she tells me she will pass on the info to her son and have him call me next time. yippeee…i couldn’t wait! (::sarcasm::slight_smile:

next phone call- "jee beta…this is auntie ____. here, talk to my son _____. "

son comes on the line. he sounds very timid and shy, which is fine. i already figured he is a momma’s boy. we exchange hellos and how are you’s. i guess he must have been very nervous or inexperienced or did a bit too much research because he straight out read off a list of questions he had for me.

him: “can i ask you some questions?”

me: “sure”

him: “ok, number one… number two…number three…blah blah blah. ok i don’t have any more questions right now, but can i call you again when i come up with more on my list? do you have any questions on your list for me?”

i’m thinking WTF? seriously? you don’t even conduct a job interview in this manner, yet try to talk to a potential candidate.

he did call back again with follow up questions :). lol, my mom wouldn’t let me say “NO” based on his and his mom’s interviewing skills so he arranged to fly down and meet me. i was more worried this meant his mom would fly down and bring a video camera to record our meeting and take back home to show her son…lol.

long story short- we met for lunch one weekend. he was nice and shareef, but just too reserved and wierd for me. the conversation was really unnatural. he didn’t know how to talk unless he had some sort of list to follow. my questions resulted in yes or no answers. no laughs, no jokes - just pure interviewing questions. i guess he was really impressed and went home and gave his mom the “thumbs up” to proceed with wedding planning. lol. shortly thereafter i had my mom call his mom and tell her it wasn’t going to work.

Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

^ poor kid

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haha..bechara

No matter how much background checking you do, some things are bound to happen...thats why they are called accidents, mishaps, azmaa-ish.

Someone in far off family got married to an engineer in dubai/uae (dont remember)....the girl family did inquiry...the guy had an engineering degree, worked in a good company...after some time into marriage he got kicked off the job coz the degree was a fake......
-now do you go to the universities to confirm the degree is fake or not???
-also a lot of larkay walay mind a lot if asked to show/ confirm their degrees.....

Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

another story: (this is creepy)

the same rishta auntie tells my mom about another guy. fair, tall, handsome, really good job, religious (he had just come back from hajj). sounds perfect right? sooo we exchange a few simple "biodata" emails and pictures. seems to be ok so far. i'm not like over the top impressed, but still decide to pursue and see what happens.

we end up talking on the phone. i ask him about his job and education and where he went to school and what he thinks about wife working, moving (we lived in diff states). he totally avoids talking about his job title and salary and says he doesn't feel i need to know. he's not "comFARTable" with me asking (HIS EXACTS WORDS). OKAY mister!

he then literally proceeds to ask me some really wierd and what i felt inappropriate questions right after i made him uncomFARTable...like how many kids i want and how long after being married i want to start trying for kids. ummmm hello, you won't even tell me your job title yet you want me to share this info with you in our first conversation? we haven't even established the fact if we're compatible or like each other!

i decide i want to find out more about him so i google up his name....and am literally SHOCKED. the first five or so queries are porn/adult sites where he has posted a profile with all his "details" including describing in detail his size and shape and what he'd like to do with his masculinity.

astragfirullah X infinity. and he claimed to be hajjee and namazee.

i told my mom and had her contact the rishta auntie who told us of him and asked her to take him off her list! needless to say, she was shocked.

that was the last conversation i had with him!

sincerely happy for those who have ended up happy after the misfortunes but thats not the case for everyone.....everything does not happen for a good reason for some people.

I dont believe in this....have yet to see karma working on the people who ruined a lot of lives

so true :k:

in my own rishta process my family did investigate. My dad got alot of information about him from his work place and all the info was good. But it’s very very hard to get correct information on the family etc and one thing is there unless and until you start living with a person you can not know how he/she really is ! so it’s very hard to do correct judgement. About the degrees - ok you can find out if the guy has degree or not ? but how will you find out if the guy himself was the one who gave the exam and passed the papers and got the degree. In Pakistan it is so easy for some people who get other people give their exams. I have seen it happening & there is no way you can catch that. People who believe in doing wrong to others and don’t have any shame will find a million ways to do fraud & fool others. Some things are just meant to happen.

nabz..ur 2nd story..OMG!

OMG. OMG. OMG.
=OOOO

shudders That would have been a nightmare! Thank god you googled his name. I'm literally shocked here, mouth-to-the-floor
-kinda way.

Wow. Thank God for Google.

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Some of these stories make me so sad! I hope to God that the victims in them find some happiness and peace.

I liked a guy for a long time and he liked me. He moved to Pakistan and I was in the states. He told his mom about me and his mom called my mom. I love my mom but I should have had his mom call my Nani who handles these situations a lot better. Anyways, my mom nice but she never called his family back and they were not happy. My mom always had a sneaking suspicion that something was wrong.

A year later I told my dad that I wanted to marry him and so my dad arranged to have my chacha in pakistan meet with the boy's family. Long story short, my chacha did research and basically said that if I wanted to go ahead with this I needed to understand that they are very different people and that the father had previously been in jail. I was so confused by what my parent's reactions were: they both said whatever made me happy they would do but I could just tell they were not happy at all. Living in the states I never met his family and have always been scared that I would not fit in. I asked him to send his family here if he could but his dad could not come to the US because of his record and he just never sent his mom. It never worked between him and I but I still regret a lot of things said from my side and God knows if it was the best for me or him except that he is happily married and I still miss him a lot :(.

So speaking from the other side of the story, "what goes around comes around'. After hearing these stories I am scared s****less.

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PS: his family was really annoyed that my family was "investigating". He made me feel like my chacha was doing the wrong thing by asking around. Then I found out my chacha asked their neighbors whom he never even knew (which embarrassed me through and through). Even after all of this my parents were like whatever you want we are behind you 100%. I decided not to marry him but you can't help regretting things, right?

When my family was about to send my rishta for my now-wife, one of my uncles raised a concern that we didn't know that much about my wife's family. He helpfully suggested that as one of our close relatives was well connected with ISI (the Pakistani intelligence service), we should ask him to search for any information they might have on her family!!!!

What was a little bit worrying is that my parents thought for a while before deciding "no" on that idea!

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^ why does it embarrass you ? your uncle did the right thing. he really cared for you hence did so much investigation , there is nothing wrong about it. From what you have written I can see that your family did investigate and you made quite many 1st moves for this rishta. things didn't work out and that is just fine. I think if any of his family member would have tried to come to US to meet your family your decision would have been different. But I don't see any efforts on their part. Don't regret. You have the right to say NO to a rishta . Regarding his dad being in jail , I don't think he should have been blamed for his dad being in jail. We all are responsible for our own deeds and no body else's. Plus I remember reading somewhere on GS too that not all the people who have been jailed in Pakistan are culprits or criminals , we all know stories of innocent people ending up in jails. So really would not judge his father , may be he was at fault may be he was not.

anyway I hope you get loads of happiness in your future ameen

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these stories are really horrifying...now i know that one should always make a search on google, facebook everywhere! :(

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nabz...OMG!! You should give sadqah for having saved yourself from a creep like him. LOL...that's gotta be the funniest I've ever heard. It's good that you told the rishta aunty as well...I hope she isn't recommending him to others.