Unfortunate rishta stories.

Lifestyle Relationships
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This is true Riya and you articulated it well. The story leaves me in a funk every time I recall it. I've seen this thread for ages and could never work up the strength to post it up until now.

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Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

Well I have one, I went to a wedding of family friends. The girl quite young at that time and there were rumers, that she met her duhla on the net, Allah knows if its true.
But as she lived in Europe and he in the States, somethings were fishy as how the ristha happened.
Anyway the mom of the girl told us as she came to give us the invitation that he is a doc in New York and everything is fine. Two days before the wedding, the duhla and his mom, who by the way looked liked a cleaning lady, not that I have anything against them, the guy in his middle or end thirties and LOOKED no were near a doc in the states, we were shocked but stayed quiet.

Two months later we hear that the girl is back to her parents, after some hush hush about it all, we found out, and it was the words of the mother, that after the marriage, they spent 3 days here and on the way to the states, he told her, his newly wed duhlan that, he is already married in the states and has 4 kids and he needs her to take care of the kids! You can imagine how shocked she might be, who was at cloud nine at her wedding, she then escaped to some relatives in the states and came back after 2 months.
Later she had an another nikkah done in pakistan but we have heard that its over also. its a pity that the girl is not getting any rest from the misery she went through and then we think that background checking out is not so bad either!

ps. turned out he wasnt a doctor but a cab driver in NY.

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Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

Im a little freaked out now...do parents do any sort of checking? Like my parents are speaking to the guy's mother and we are asking for references who can vouch for his character as well.

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Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

In my family the do!!!

125

tht sounds like me :P i hated going n meeting strangers .... :\ once the guests kept waitign and i wouldnt go but my mom dragged me down lolzzzz and i went to other room and tht anty dragged me to the room where the guy was sitting :@

anyways theres this cousin of mine who got engaged to a guy in karachi and theres another guy cousin who got engaged in peshawer ....both the cousins didnt have any contact with eachother they were bz with their own fiances ;) ....somehow one after another their engagements broke and we started teasing the guy cousin tht he should now marry our cousin ....tht joking came true amd they got married and now live happily with their son....as they say jodian asmanon per banti hain ;)

126

Why wouldn't you do a background check??

My parents went to pakistan twice even when my parents knew the family. Before they said yes - they called my husband's company to find out whether he worked there or not, they went and even visited him when he lived with his roommates. They didn't take his word for anything - they confirmed everything with their own eyes.

I blame the parents!!! I feel bad for the girl

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Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

Sadia B they both were phansaing each other. She was smart but he was smarter then her.

Two Words That Go Together
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Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

I dont really know why there was no background check, I never asked them but had this confirmed that the story is true ... anyway if you ask me your daugther tellls u I know a doc in the states and he wants to marry me and the typical desi parents jump up at the magical word of a doc, as there was a lots of emphisis at his being a doc, they felt no need for a background check and fell for it! there is lots of fraud in this world and ppl feel no guilt doing such stuff, I just hope they get back what they do.

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You are right Sadia but she has to find & confirm and her parents also.

In my relatives. One girl was very pretty. I boy I don't know their family found I think. I was too young at that time so I don't know exactly. He told them that he is a doctor. They were very happy. That boy to show them always use to have stethoscop hanging in his neck.

Wherever and whenever they found they got answer that he is a doctor.

After marriage and 1 or 2 kids I think he keep acting that he is a doctor or medical student and keep taking money from them that I have to finish my Doctory. They have been giving him money 5000 each month.

Once they found that he is not a medical student even don't have a job.

Then what her wife's brother did brought him home. Beat him a lot and gave him dirty clothes to wash and got divorce for her sister. Girls mother kept two kids with her and found other person for that girl and she got married.

She was so pretty. So innocent. I use to admire her.

Checking is very important. No matter what.

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Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

^^ apart frm his lies abt being a doc was he a bad husband, a bad father, or a bad muslim, or a bad SIL ???

edit* i guess lying made him a bad muslim.

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He wasn't working. He was getting money from his in laws.

He doesn't have any education or some education.

Was a good husband what I heard.

He was begging let my wife and kids live with me I will work and take care of them but his In laws my relatives said no. Why he lied and did drama so long and got too much money.

I don't know about the girls views. I just saw her Once or twice and I was too young to understand everything.

She was so quite naik shareef and seedhi sadhi. I don't know if she wanted to live with him or not.

For that reasong Girls parents seperated because girls father didn't want divorce for his daughter. He said let her live that way. He is promising he will get job and take care of them now on.

But the mother and brothers of the girl were so angry. They didn't listen to that Doctor liar and girls father.

Girls father divorced her wife or leave I'm not sure. He start living alone somewhere else. After some time he died I think.

The whole family get messed up.

They were my relatives relative.

I remember when my relatives and my mom were discussing. Both were saying let her live with him (Doctor liar).

But brother and mother of that girl was not listening to any one.

She was only girl and all were brother they said that my beatiful and only sisters life tabah kar di aur hamain itnay saal tuk bewaqoof banaya aur paisay kahaay itna drama kia.

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^ so sad. well, atleast she got married again.

THere are these one people we know, and there son is a doctor and hafiz. They go EVERYWHERE to look at girls, and they reject them all- they say the want the want a girl that's realy pretty, a doctor, and a hafiza.

So the rest of us are like, so why do you got to all these girls' houses when you know they don't meet ALL THREE criteria?!

And the mom's always bragging how she gets people saying that if her son would marry their daughter they will give them gold the amount her son'ts weight.she's always bragging about how great her son is, and how religous they are- it's like did you not read the part in Islam that says "be humble".

Anyways, I hope when they find the find that pretty, doctor, hafiza, she rejects them.

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LOL they are getting reward what they are doing to other.

I'm same like you when they know that she is not the one they want then why they go to see girls. Thats too bad.

How could a hafiz do that. May be her mom was doing that.

One of my Uncle (door paray kay) but 1 or years older than me. He is B pharmacy I think and Hafiz and ok in looks married a girl not good looking, dark in color and think she has more than BA degree. Don't have kids yet after some years of marriage living happily.

My that uncle is such a nice person.

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His mom is definetley a huge factor, but the son's is also a huge part- after all he's there with his mom and dad, and I heard he interview the girls like their applying to med school or something.

Like he'll ask,
So what is a wife's responsibility?
How much Quran do you know?
What scholars do you listen to ? WHy?

Which would be fine if he hadn't already made up his mind that you're already rejected. And the mom at the end tell the girl's mom, that they are looking for a hafiza and an MD.

They did the same with there older son too, except he wasnt a hafiz but still religious and an MD. They went EVERYWHERE and rejected girls right and left (they would say we want one that's a doctor and knows arabic, etc)! And then they met a girl they liked and she REJECTED him because she said he didn't have a BEARD. The whole community laffed in sastisfaction! Anyways he ended up marrying this a girl that wasn't a MD or hafiza, and she didn't know arabic either. Just a normal housewife. She is pretty though.

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I knew that.

Some ppl isntead of saying that I don't like your girl they make story like I'm looking this and that. I think that is the nice way to say no instead of dirctly saying that I didn't like your daughter.

Some ppl do that whatever they are looking for they don't tell ppl and when they find it they go for it.

That was ajeeb that He didn't have Beard.

It sounds like me.

Looking for Hafiza girl. Not looking for MD or some high qualification but at least B.Sc. good looking and tall.

Hafiza lar'ki milti naheen hai. Hamari community main aik bhi hafiza naheen hai. Sigh.

I don't know if I tell ppl I'm looking for tall and slim girl then why they send picture of short and lots of weight.

Some even photoshped the picture to make her like heroin. I don't know why ppl who are religious and doing all this dhoka.

Most ppl says say yes without picture. Marry without looking at picture. We are too religious and won't give you picture.

To one person I said we are not luchchay lafangay and won't sell your daughters picture to a gunda or badmaash or over the internet.

How could we marry a girl even not looking at her picture.

It is allowed in Islam to see the girl. She has to see the boy too.

If living in Pakistan how would I know without picture. I clearly say no to those who says we can't give you picture. If you don't believe for picture how would you believe to give your daughter.

Timepass - October 2012
136

a cute rishta story...
this happened with me few years back, i was in pakistan visiting my family, first went to karachi and was planning to visit lahore...booked my flight to fly to lahore... my flight was supposed to leave in the evening and it did...i was sitting next to a really cute girl and her niece. everything was good til they told us that the flight will not be able to fly to lahore tonight cuz of fog n weather...so we were back to the airport...spent like 5 hrs figuring out what was going on, meanwhile the girl n I started to talk, i found out she was only 16, n on her way to her sisters hosue in lahore, n also that her parents had passed away recently n her nani n khalas are pushing everybody to make her get married....i was like WHAT!...NO they are crazy u r too young and that they should be looking for a SIL for u (she had a older brother...who was like 25...n single) anyways...back to the flight issue they told us that we would need to come back in the morning and they will try to give us seats in the morning flight...n told us to come early in the morning.

i was back to the airport the next morning ard. 9...and of course she was there too with her niece, she helped me out n we were able to fly together to lahore that day...we exchanged phone numbers ( i gave her my uncles cell # sicne i didn't have a cell) at the airport she introduced me to her sister and other family too (brother as well).

once in lahore i totally forgot abt calling her ( i was visitng my family after 5 years)

anyways guess who i ran into at the airport...flying back to karachi...i m not joking her again...she was like i was trying to call ur # but i didn't work my sisters wanted to speak with ur family. I was like Why?
she told me in a very shy voice...for my brother, i really like you and everybody else liked u too, and wanted u to be my SIL.
i didn't knw what to say, and just gave her my email address... I was 21 n didn't want to settle down just yet...but didn't wanna say no to her on her face...so did later on on msn :o

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"Some even photoshped the picture to make her like heroin. I don't know why ppl who are religious and doing all this dhoka"

LOL. that reminds me. One time, my mom's aunt had like five or six daughters. and one was sort of ugly, so when her her rishta (who was like the handsomest guy in the village that my mom came from) came, the pretty sister sat in front of the rishta. THen like the on the of the day of wedding, the husband was so shocked!! He didn't say anything, but he went to London for six months, and didn't talk to anyone. But then he felt sorry for his wife and came back. THey had children and everything, and no drama- so I guess they lived happily.

Guest of the Week- Jiia
138

I don't know why ppl do drama and dhoka. Jis say shadi honi hai wo karay ga hi time lug sakta hai dhoka kioon dain. I don't know why ppls imaan is going so down for worldy thing.

As you said 1 of my cousin I met him after so long when I was visiting Pakistan and he told me that he is getting married.

He invited me. When I saw the girl oh my god just opposite of him. Yay kah lain kon si burai na thi us main jo wo na pasand karta ho. As I know My cousing since young age.

She is not only budsoorat but budmizaaj too and talkin like him like a jahil. I can't believe my ears. As I left after few days of his wedding. And when I made a call. She was cheekhing like a jahil to tell him I call. Remember few days of marriage.

I was so shocked and thought she not be enough educated. I didn't say a word to him and I felt sorry for him. I know he wouldn't like her behaviour.

She has asma too. They hide that from him for so long. To hide from him about her asma she didn't took har madicine. She use to faint becasue of that. He have to call her parents and bahnoi to pick her up because she is so huge.

Then he asked doctor why she faints again and again then doctor told him she has asma.

Now he is really mad at her, her family, his own sister who did everything for this rishta.

Even his brother in law says to him when he saw her after some time of marriage that. your sister was blind or what. Everyone and his friend says yaar kis say shadi karli. She is even older than him.

He doesn't give lift to her. I think bad behaviour with her. When I try to calm him down he get mad at me don't want to listen a single word about her.

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Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

^ that's sad.

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Re: Unfortunated rishta stories.

Umm its asthma. Okay.