Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

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921

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

ttc update:
After going to several doctors, I finally went to a reproductive endocrinologist. After hearing the same thing over and over again, about them not understanding why my periods are late, it was just the final straw and I was like I have to go to a specialist. Within 5 minutes of meeting me and going over my labs, I was diagnosed with PCOS. It's a big relief because I finally have a diagnosis but it took me 3 years to get it. I wish I had gone to the specialist way earlier and probably would have been well on my way to having a child. The specialist put me on thyroid medication, bcp to regulate my cycles and metformin for my insulin levels. After my hormone levels are straightened out, there going to do clomid and IUI cycles. Its alot of information to handle and alot of information is being thrown at me. It's also alot of uncertanity because I could get pregnant soon after doing clomid and the IUI cycles or it might take awhile. So its very hard to plan for stuff (i.e. buying a house etc) did anyone else go through this uncertainty?

922

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Hi Natasha

Its great at least you are getting some answers, with pcos just i guess control your diet and that will help you heaps, good luck at least we will all hear good news soon.

923

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Hi guys,

I thought i'd come back to this trusty website that helped me out so much before, and that can help me out again inshAllah. I am currently trying to conceive, have been since September last year (2014). In oct i got a BFP, which meant that it had taken me one month to conceive alhumdulillah, but then unfortunately I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks although I didn't find out until i was supposed to be 12 weeks. I had an op to clean out the miscarriage, just because of the situation. We then started trying again in February time. I am just so obsessed with getting pregnant and I am always thinking about it. Sometimes it really depresses me and I get so upset. I guess I just came on to join this forum again because maybe I can have advice and support from fellow guppies that are going through the same thing as me. My husband totally understands but i feel i can't ALWAYS be talking about it. :(

924

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Hi Cupcake, I am in the same boat as you EXCEPT I haven't even gotten pregnant at all which is even more stressful because I DON'T KNOW WHY :( I feel liable somehow for not falling pregnant yet (have been trying for 5-6 months) and we had even thought of baby names etc and every time I go out shopping and see cute little baby outfits it just gets upsetting all over again not being able to partake in the joys of having a baby.

I guess all I can say to you is to hang in there, stay strong and at least you know you CAN fall pregnant. The other day I was at a beauty salon and my beautician told me it took her SIL 10 months to fall pregnant....everyone is different and for some people it just takes longer. I am also waiting this month out (periods due between 7-9th May but FINGERS CROSSED!!!!) and if Aunt Flo does make an appearance I am definitely getting myself checked out because it gets more and more difficult and depressing as each month progresses.

Perhaps other girls here could share their success stories (I.e.: if it took awhile to get pregnant, how did you cope - especially questions from the in laws and others, etc) that may be helpful. And most of all please everyone keep those of us who are having a difficult time in your duas...the pain I am experiencing each failed month isn't something I can describe and I pray to Allah to make it easier on all the girls out there.

925

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Hi :)

The first thought I had after the shock of my miscarriage was that I could get pregnant. I am always trying to be positive and look for the silver lining in everything. I guess I'm getting a bit anxious with all this wait for when and if my AF will arrive, can I do another preg test? etc It's just getting tiresome. I know how you feel in shopping for baby clothes, just last week my husbands best friend had his baby, they were like one month ahead of us (if i hadn't of had my miscarriage), and I went to buy them some gifts like clothes, and while I was looking I just started to have a little panic attack and literally just had to step away and breathe slowly for like a few minutes. It just hit me that it could have been me :( then we visited them in hospital and afterwards I just broke down, it wasn't because I was jealous, it was more feeling sad for myself because if I hadn't of had that miscarriage, that would have been me in a month (due date was 6th june). i just don't think I've gotten over my miscarriage. Sometimes it really depresses me :( I've just recovered from AF lol so here goes again!

even for my husbands best friend, it took them like 8/9 months so i guess it just does take a while!

It would be great if people could share their success stories to keep us all motivated!!

926

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

I didn’t want to read and run after going through your post. I had 2 back-to-back MCs, and it is one of the most gut wrenching experiences I’ve gone through - I can totally empathize with you. Hubby and I were ttc for over 2 years. We got a battery of tests done, but nothing was really wrong. In the end we just canceled our Dr’s appointments and focused on ourselves - started eating right and exercising regularly. Guess what, I got pregnant the very next month, and now have a beautiful baby daughter. In retrospect I think the stress and pressure about the whole thing was making matters worse.
It’s great that you are focusing on the silver lining - for us, the ttc journey brought me a lot closer to my husband. Sometimes shared grief makes your relationship so much stronger than shared happiness can. What I can also suggest is focus on a healthy lifestyle.. get close to an ideal weight if you aren’t already, eat the right food, exercise.

My thoughts and prayers for you.. all the best!! :hug:

927

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

HI all,
positive vibes needed today: Taking all these medications (thyroid, metformin and bcp) has me going crazy. For someone who never had to take any medications to taking 3 to 4 a day is alot to handle. I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be this hard for me to conceive. I know it will iA workout for me and all the girls who are trying to conceive- its just all the tests and medications which are unnerving tbh. I have a pretty good support system, my hubby and parents are really supportive. They keep telling to think about the end goal and how it will be once we are able to conceive. The only thing is that I can do to cope is just take one day at a time and keep myself busy and pray that god grants my wishes and all the girls here that are ttc :(

928

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Aww I do know how you feel (kind of) but maybe this will help- about 3 years back my cousin had a miscarriage and conceived again after about 6 months. She then discovered she was having TWINS the second time around and now MA she has an adorable little boy and girl :)

As for pregnancy tests....each month I take them and I am so sick of seeing the negative result that I've stopped now. Everyone keeps telling me leave it to Allah and I am trying (I mean what other choice is there?!) but I love babies so much and heck I'm 27- I said I wanted two kids and be done and dusted before I'm 30 but it doesn't seem like that is going to be the
case :( I don't get it...it just seems to happen sooo easily for some girls and others are going through such trauma to get there and the one thing that terrifies me is WHAT IF it just doesn't happen and hence the cycle of depression begins....and I think my mom is sick to death of hearing me go on about this issue so much and each month before AF I ask her about a million times if she thinks this will be my month (like how can anyone predict that? But I find myself just repeating and repeating these questions).

On another note though, today is May 7 (evening) and for me AF was expected today (although to be fair I have in the past been 1-2 days late but my dates have been spot on regular since marriage) and AF has not arrived, although I am experiencing some period pains(usually they arrive in the morning) so a tiny tiny part of me is hoping that just maybe this is it...

And my husband's cousins...just annoy the heck out of me :( most of them wanted to marry him- he is the best looking in his family but he chose me (out of family, out of caste, love marriage etc) so of course they are all quick to comment on the absence of a pregnancy even though we have been married a year. One of them actually saw one of my close up pics which we viber'd to my MIL and (on purpose I believe) asked her how far along I was....ok maybe in the close up I looked a tiny bit fuller/chubby than usual but I am only 92lbs to start with and I certainly can never be accused of being chubby- I just hate hate hearing stuff like that. It shouldn't bother me but it does!

I swear this wondering and waiting will drive me crazy!!!!!!

929

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Congratulations on your baby girl :slight_smile:

Even though I haven’t (nor has hubby) been tested etc to see if there’s a problem I just SOMEHOW feel solely responsible and guilty for it not happening. It’s so awful :frowning:

May Allah help us all…

930

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

IA we will all get there in the end..!

931

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Please please don't blame yourself. After finding out in the ultrasound that we'd lost our baby the first thing my Ob said was "It's not your fault. I want you to never blame yourself for this". Those words were so comforting at that time.
When the time comes, you WILL do anything in your capacity and beyond to make sure you have a healthy baby. Hang in there!

932

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Ah Mashallah on finally being able to have a baby daughter! I am most afraid of getting pregnant and having another miscarriage :frowning: right now i’m trying on making myself a better muslim inshallah, I eat pretty good anyway and drink plenty of water. I may try and get to a better weight for myself though! I think the miscarriage also brought me and my husband closer together and i see another whole side of him now! :slight_smile: Thank you so much for taking the time out and replying! its always nice to hear positive things! :hugz:

933

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

inshallah it will all work out for you!

934

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

When i first found out about my miscarriage, the doctors also said to me that it is not my fault and there was nothing I did that caused the miscarriage! It was really comforting!

935

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Aww that made me smile about the twins! INSHALLAH! :) Ah I'm so worried that I won't ever get my pregnant and that my only chance was the miscarriage, it is a frightening thought! Don't worry about your husbands cousins, they seem like silly girls with nothing better to worry about! You haven't even been married that long so what is the hullabaloo about? I've been married 3 years, and although we've only started again since february, i am so sure that people are talking about us! His dadi did say to us a few weeks back, oh ill pray for you to have babies, but she said it in a way to say, where are your damn babies lol lucky we don't see much of his dads family otherwise I'm sure they wouldn't hold back! my mum is super annoying though, because she knows were trying, shell ask me every time she phones if i have any good news, for goodness sake woman CHILL! I almost feel like telling everyone, were not trying anymore just so they'll get off our backs!

i have refused to buy any more pregnancy tests now. I am literally banning myself, although my basal thermometer arrived today and it came with 10 preg tests lol. this is gonna be my third month of trying, inshallah it'll be the month.

936

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Update: it is now 9 May (evening) and AF has not arrived (I was due 7-9 May). I am trying not to get too hopeful but just maybe...

A quick question though ladies, I took a HPT yesterday which was negative and I am having cramps. Has anyone ever found the HPT to be wrong?

937

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

IA this is your month and look
forward to hearing your good news :)

938

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

How's it going? Has AF arrived? Sometimes HPT tests can't always detect the pregnancy hormone. When I first got my BFP, it was like a week and a half after my AF was due! You may just have to wait a few days and try again. Are you always regular? Whereabouts are your cramps?

939

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

Hi Cupcake :) today is May 10 (morning) and still no AF (I mention the time and date as I am in a different time zone to most people here). For the past 6 months or so my periods have been regular, except for last month where I didn't bleed properly (just 1.5 days of brown spotting when usually I bleed for 5 days and it's RED). I am cramping on and off in the area under my belly- just like regular period symptoms but no AF. Last month, despite not bleeding properly, I had severe cramps.

About 10 days after my last period I had a blood test which was negative from my doctor. And since I have done a couple of urine tests at home which have also been negative. I am thinking maybe give it 1 week more and then visit the doctor? Only because i am guessing if it is not being detected in urine she may make me have another blood test.

This is really annoying... And the cramping is quite bad when it hits so a part of me is a bit scared too just in case I am pregnant so I just don't know! Fingers crossed...

940

Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)

If the cramping gets too painful, maybe you should go to A&E and they can see what is wrong? Has AF not arrived? OMG fingers crossed, this is your month! INSHALLAH!!!