Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
I am not currently TTC but this thread seemed like the right place to vent.
I got married 7 months ago to the bestest person I can ever found. Never went on BC as I am 37 yrs old and my husband is 38 so didn't wanted to mess up the hormones. We never tried until Eid-ul-Fitr and were using natural methods for BC as thinking to enjoy couple of months. I went back to home country to spend Eid and for the first time spent 2 weeks without husband after our marriage and was feeling very down spending our first Eid apart. So when he surprised me on Eid day coming unplanned we both were over the moon and conceived the same night.
After 5 weeks when I missed my period I had an idea because I was regular all my life then started having other symptoms like going to the loo a lot and being tired without doing anything. Husband asked me to take at home pregnancy test but I said no as I thought I already know I am pregnant. Any ways got an appt after 3 weeks, the doctor did all the tests and showed us the US picture of my baby which was now around 8 weeks old.
The doctor did some blood work, asked me to come after another 4 weeks for the panorama test and asked me to take some pregnancy supplements and that was it. Me and hubby started making plans but I didn't told any one other then my mom and his mom as I am so worried about the evil eye. We were not planning to get pregnant but after looking at the heartbeat picture for the first time we both were highly emotional and excited.
I never throw up during the time, did felt nausea but never had a vomit. Other then going to the loo a zillion times there was no sign that I was pregnant. On our next visit the doctor try to hear the heart beat using Doppler and she said she can't hear anything, then she did an over the belly ultra sound but didn't find anything there also. I started panicking at that time but my husband reassured me that every thing is ok. Then the doctor did an intravaginal ultrasound and confirmed that the baby stopped growing after 9 weeks and is no more.
I was so heart broken as it was not what I was expecting there was no spotting no blood. The doctor gave me 2 weeks for the body to flush it out itself otherwise they have to do a DNC. I cried so much for 3 days and my husband the gem of a person he is just consoled me and in the end started crying himself. We just cried together and felt so alone because we didn't told any one as Eid-ul-Azha celebrations were going on and we didn't wanted to mess that up.
Last friday I had the worst cramps of my life and I lost so much blood that husband has to call the ambulance to take me to the Emergency room, I fainted couple of times so the doctors have to do an emergency DNC and blood transfusion.
Now I feel so empty and there seems to be no reason to live any more. The doctor asked us not to try again for couple of months due to the physical and psychological impact of the first miscarriage but I am not sure I would be able to go through all of this again.
I hope and pray that every one in this thread or any where trying has a positive and healthy outcome of their efforts, I would just ask them to pray for me to give me enough strength to go through this with a sane mind.
So sorry to hear this Chipotle. Please keep your faith in Allah strong. May Allah swt give you and your husband the strength and patience to get through this.
I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks only 2 months after I got married. It messed up my cycles to the point that I was not able to conceive again for a few years. Inshallah you will also be blessed soon.