Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Allah behtar janta hai.
to GS. Aap ko apni duaon mein zaorr yaad rakhun ga.
Please don’t lose hope, stay strong.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
assalam.o.alaikum. how re you all doing? lots of prayers for all of you from the bottom of my heart. i would like to share my story
i got married in november. i was all happy . i had conceived on the very first day after getting married as my reports told. i couldnt notice any sign for pregnancy because it was too early and one cant imagine that i could get pregnant on the first day.
well i did everything which could harm my pregnancy as i was not aware of it. after a month i had no periods( there were some issues from my in-laws) i thought bcz of heavy tension my periods are missed i didnt take it serious infact i was pregnant. after it i used to tell my MIL that i m feeling some pain or heaviness type of feelings in the lower abdomen she said i dont know anything etc. atlast i went to see dr . after us(ultrasound) report i gt to know that im pregnant but i was spotting . i asked dr she said it could b early pregnancy bleeding.well in us it was also telling that i have a small fibroid but dr said there isnothing to b worried abt. i was still worried bcz i never heard abt uterine fibroids.aftwr two n half months of pregnancy my dr asked me for another us done. my fetus had heart beat n everything was perfect i was happy n then i didnt gt any tension regarding pregnancy. my FIL is not a good behaving person . dr had advised me to take complete bed rest for 2 months my husband used to serve me even i forbade him but he said for your healthy pregnancy n our baby its nothing n 2 months is a short period.my IN LAWS were keep on saying itni jaldi q ki? kya zarurat thi? n my father in law bravely and shamlessly said tmhe tariqa nhi pata itne b bachy nhi ho tm dono itni age tu nhi hui k itni jaldi baby ki par gai or my son is serving you n doing things for you?go for dnc. evryone treated me like these sort of harsh words it was not in my hands . i cried alot . my husband came and asked whats wrong with you?i said nothing .then told him the behaviour of his family and father. he consoled me n said i will take action dnt worry. i was telling this n what did i see i was bleeding like periods . i said OH ALLAH help me n save my baby. but useless it was 3 a.m when i started bleeding . i was havingheavy pain n bleeding was like bakra zibah hogaya, i went to hospital there was no dr available i gt confused n cried n cried pain was unbearable. atlast i waited for 5 hours in pain at 8am a ball came out from my uterus i was completely hurtedby seeing that myfetus is no more in my womb now :(. well dnc hui or jab ball dr ne check ki tu pata chala he was a baby boy. with lillte features. i cried alot for my baby. now its been 7 months n im not getting pregnant. in tests its always negative. i m hopeless n down. i have 2 heart burning tensions my in.laws n im not getting pregnant. i didnt go for any check up . my periods r regular but this month im 7 days late. im hopping for pregnancy. plz pray for me.may ALLAH bless all of us with cute n lovely babies. ameen
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
update:
i have taken a home peegnancy test
again its negative and i had high hopes as i was late for 7 days its hurting :(i wouldnt share this with my husband he might gt sad . im fed up of this negative sign .what should i do? is my fibroid is the cause or my in laws? they re giving me depression evwn we have shiffted . whenever i visit them they dont treat me like a bahu, on eid i gave them gifts just to control the situation but my FIN even didnt answer my salam. he is angry at me bcz i had told the whole scene to my husband n my husband cleared everything to him n said that in such circumstances we cant manage so we re moving sumwhere else . i just told everything bcz i was getting hurt by his behaviour and harsh words. whats not to tell? :( i m all sad like i should die or hang till death. my husband is also tensed n he loves his parents his father is all fine with him but widout any misbehave or diobidence he is punishing me for nothing by passing harsh comments n behaviour he would never talk to me. should i stop going their home? bcz whenever i go i feel depressed n hurt by their behaviour of ignoring me. i get bore as well
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
asalamo alaikum .. please dont lose hope Allah talah will make things easy for you INSHA ALLAH
please read this dua surah ambiya verse 89 and the AAL Imran verse 38
*Rabbi hub lee mi'lla donka zurriyattun tayyibah inna ka sami;oo ud duaa
*translation : **O ALLAH grant me from YOU a good offspring.YOU are indeed the ALL HEARER of invocation"
Rabbi la tazarni farda'oon wa unta khairol waariseen
**translation; and remember (zakariya) when he cried to his lord *"O my ALLAH leave me not single (childless) though YOU are the best of the inheritors"
*
these duas are asked by HAZrat zakriya alaihes salam... and please read tahajjud and astaghfar give sadqah regularly.
dua made at tahajjud is like an arrow which does not miss its target-Imam ash shafi
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
apple blossom thanks alot . i will recite these verses. you had helped me when i was searching for best make up artist. n once again . may ALLAH bless you. what would you say about my in laws what should i do??
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
still i am crying and i am depressed as well because of my in laws.on sunday my MIL is visiting us again she will give me depression by her words. how can i get rid of them
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Thanks KS09 your post was really helpful.
we are also planning to go for ivf inshAllah. We are in karàchi going to concept fertility.
i dont know why but i am still emotionally struggling for this decision.
i dont want to discuss it to anyone and dont want to tell anyone as i am afraid how they are going to react and how is it going to affect my future babies.
I dont know how is it where u live but here in karachi in my family i have never seen anyone discussing such things... Although i am sure people may have get some kind medical help to have babies.
Alhumdulillah i have my husbands support and he is okay with sharing our experience with others but i dont feel comfortable.
but i think i have to change myself and be strong and face it :)
Ladies, I'm really not understanding why there is shame in IVF or why it's such a huge decision for some of you? There is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm happy to share my ivf stories and experience with others in the hope that it could help someone. Usually if i tell someone we're undergoing an ivf treatment they'll give me a dua.. what's the harm in that? I've come across a couple of ladies on GS who feel that IVF is too big a jump and that somehow it makes them feel even more infertile. I believe that IVF exists because Allah swt allowed it to, and Allah allowed for this method to work. What's the shame in that? And when you're so desperate to have a baby that you cry constantly, IVF is nothing compared to the bigger picture of having a baby. And when you're so desperate the costs associated will also mean nothing. I've spent over $20k (Australian) and by no means am i a rich person, we just budgeted to allow ourselves to try it.
There's no point in sitting at home and moaning and crying about it. You have to go out and help yourself. Allah will help those that help themselves. At the end of the day, it's not IVF giving you a baby.. it's still Allah swt blessing you
I don't know if there's any point to what i've just written.. just trying to say that IVF is nothing to be ashamed of.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
still i am crying and i am depressed as well because of my in laws.on sunday my MIL is visiting us again she will give me depression by her words. how can i get rid of them
I don't see the reason why you feel depress. They give you depression and you take it? Don't harm yourself sweetie. You are separated from your in-laws now, so having them on weekends and hearing a bit of sarcasm should be ok. I mean, I have read your all situation and I have got an idea the kind of people they are but don't get yourself in their trick. Ignore dear. Ignore their words. Ek kaan se suno aur doosray kaan se nikaal do. Bsss....!!!
I really feel sad for them, they are one of the worst kinds of humans on earth. But why take tension for them? Let them come, treat them well... whatever she says, hear it and forget it the other second.
Taking stress and depression won't ever help you conceiving a baby. And, remember!! This time when you get the news... don't let them know for about 3 to 4 months. I'm sorry, but they don't worth it.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
I don't see the reason why you feel depress. They give you depression and you take it? Don't harm yourself sweetie. You are separated from your in-laws now, so having them on weekends and hearing a bit of sarcasm should be ok. I mean, I have read your all situation and I have got an idea the kind of people they are but don't get yourself in their trick. Ignore dear. Ignore their words. Ek kaan se suno aur doosray kaan se nikaal do. Bsss....!!!
I really feel sad for them, they are one of the worst kinds of humans on earth. But why take tension for them? Let them come, treat them well... whatever she says, hear it and forget it the other second.
Taking stress and depression won't ever help you conceiving a baby. And, remember!! This time when you get the news... don't let them know for about 3 to 4 months. I'm sorry, but they don't worth it.
first of all i would hug you for giving me such a nice idea . actually they taunt , and my SIL is always passing comments like; tumhare uper bhai ne itne paise lagae .itna dia . jesi shadi hum ne ki wesi colony main nhi hui hogi''
n also related to our personal relation like " abi shadi jaldi kr di tmhari fam k pressure ki waja se,your mother is the cause" i cnt bear abt my mother . my father is no more:( this is the plus point them
my fathet never treated me like that my fam loves me alot n i didnt ever share a single word abt my in laws.
i live alone separate but i cnt conceive in heavy stress whenever they come or i visit koi na koi aisi batain hoti hain jo mere dimag main beth jati hain. since i have missed my periods its been 6th sep n my date was 28th august
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Hi everyone, wanted to share this ayat that I came across while reading the Quran. Gave me a lot of peace at a very difficult time.
surah fatir ayat 11
And Allah created you from dust, then from a sperm-drop; then He made you mates. And no female conceives nor does she give birth except with His knowledge. And no aged person is granted [additional] life nor is his lifespan lessened but that it is in a register. Indeed, that for Allah is easy
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
I am not currently TTC but this thread seemed like the right place to vent.
I got married 7 months ago to the bestest person I can ever found. Never went on BC as I am 37 yrs old and my husband is 38 so didn't wanted to mess up the hormones. We never tried until Eid-ul-Fitr and were using natural methods for BC as thinking to enjoy couple of months. I went back to home country to spend Eid and for the first time spent 2 weeks without husband after our marriage and was feeling very down spending our first Eid apart. So when he surprised me on Eid day coming unplanned we both were over the moon and conceived the same night.
After 5 weeks when I missed my period I had an idea because I was regular all my life then started having other symptoms like going to the loo a lot and being tired without doing anything. Husband asked me to take at home pregnancy test but I said no as I thought I already know I am pregnant. Any ways got an appt after 3 weeks, the doctor did all the tests and showed us the US picture of my baby which was now around 8 weeks old.
The doctor did some blood work, asked me to come after another 4 weeks for the panorama test and asked me to take some pregnancy supplements and that was it. Me and hubby started making plans but I didn't told any one other then my mom and his mom as I am so worried about the evil eye. We were not planning to get pregnant but after looking at the heartbeat picture for the first time we both were highly emotional and excited.
I never throw up during the time, did felt nausea but never had a vomit. Other then going to the loo a zillion times there was no sign that I was pregnant. On our next visit the doctor try to hear the heart beat using Doppler and she said she can't hear anything, then she did an over the belly ultra sound but didn't find anything there also. I started panicking at that time but my husband reassured me that every thing is ok. Then the doctor did an intravaginal ultrasound and confirmed that the baby stopped growing after 9 weeks and is no more.
I was so heart broken as it was not what I was expecting there was no spotting no blood. The doctor gave me 2 weeks for the body to flush it out itself otherwise they have to do a DNC. I cried so much for 3 days and my husband the gem of a person he is just consoled me and in the end started crying himself. We just cried together and felt so alone because we didn't told any one as Eid-ul-Azha celebrations were going on and we didn't wanted to mess that up.
Last friday I had the worst cramps of my life and I lost so much blood that husband has to call the ambulance to take me to the Emergency room, I fainted couple of times so the doctors have to do an emergency DNC and blood transfusion.
Now I feel so empty and there seems to be no reason to live any more. The doctor asked us not to try again for couple of months due to the physical and psychological impact of the first miscarriage but I am not sure I would be able to go through all of this again.
I hope and pray that every one in this thread or any where trying has a positive and healthy outcome of their efforts, I would just ask them to pray for me to give me enough strength to go through this with a sane mind.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
so sorry for your loss chip.
cant imagine what you must be going through. hope you have good support around you. i will be keeping you in my prayers
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Really sorry for your pain chipotle...please stay strong and remember Allah swt. He will be your guide and your support.
Will keep you in my duas.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
chipotle, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've been there.. twice.. and it was just heartbreaking. But ... it does get better. As horrible as this experience is, it will bring you closer to your husband and make your relationship stronger.
Take good care of yourself. Your body will heal, but make time to grieve and let your mind heal too.
I'm praying for you.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
chipotle, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've been there.. twice.. and it was just heartbreaking. But ... it does get better. As horrible as this experience is, it will bring you closer to your husband and make your relationship stronger.
Take good care of yourself. Your body will heal, but make time to grieve and let your mind heal too.
I'm praying for you.
Yeah, it seems like our relationship has strengthened after this episode. Now he says that the lil one will take us to Jannah directly without any questions.
So sorry to hear your ordeal, going it through myself I cannot imagine somebody going through this emotional roller coaster multiple time. May Allah makes it easier for everyone
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Chipotle I am soo soo sorry for your loss have been through the same. mashAllah I have a baby now, You will too soon inshaAllah!
But do listen to the doc and let your body heal before trying again, it's very important for healthy future pregnancies.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Dont know what to do? Where to go I'm not conceiveing and this makes me depress I live with my hubby and we both want baby and trying for 6 months but yet not successed. I m feeling helpless and want to die cant bear this pain. My hubby is nice but i. Really want kids don't know what to do
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
i have heard that , after d&c you re m0st fertile and one should not wait for 6 months of gap(after abortion/miscarriage)
its been 6 to 7 m0nths that we r trying but after my d&c we didnt try for 3 to 4 m0nths, many people are saying you shudnt give such a l0ng gap thats y you're n0t getting pregnant
is it true?
Sorry for poor english.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Saniya you may or may not be I am not sure, but what is done is done. That was not the right time for you to conceive. Allah will give you a baby when he has planned for it IA. Please try to go easy on yourself and dnt stress every little detail. We can't plan this.
Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Also dnt discuss your fertility and TTC efforts with everyone. People in general are very ill informed. I used to say we are not trying at the moment or we are giving it a break. They dnt need to know every detail of your life. It's none of their business. Try to do your own research but then again dnt over stress yourslf.