folks suggest me something… i love sumone who also loves me. but there is a problem in marriage. his mother is too old and is here at Pakistan (me also at Pakistan) and he is living abroad he said one day that he has a wish that his wife (when married) stay at his mothers place for a short period of time so that she could look her after he said he cant get such a long leave so its almost impossible for him to get here and take care of his mother. he asked me can i do this for him.
i without any hesitation said that i wud love to stay with his mother but i told him clearly that i have never been doing this kind of job. we are living separate from my grand mother(dadi). my grand mother lives with my chacho, visits us every now and then but never has stayed for a long time with us. i m not habitual to look after an old person and according to me its a tough job for me.
he said he appreciates my boldness and truthfulness but what shud he do now. i asked him if he wants to look for another girl? he said NO!
but afterward he said he is gonna ask his mother to look for a girl herself.
Secondly…my father is a patient of high BP. he went through a minor paralysis attack too. that scared him and he wants to fulfill his duty of my marriage and settlement ASAP. as you know its the wish of every parent. but due to some reasons i have faced some other rishta rejections.
accoding to an aalim there is some kind of barrier in my marriage. (Allah knows what the reality is)
Thirdly…one of my phupho’s husband asked my grandmother to ask my father for my proposal for his brother. whom i DON’T like at all. i mean..the feeling of dislike is not new i didn’t ever liked him due to some reasons that are too strong for me to think positively about him.
as i mentioned above about the issue of barrier in my rishta my parents are a bit apprehensive. they don’t want to lose this rishta.
i talked to my mother about my feelings about the guy and also told her that i like someone else.
she got done the Istekhara about the person i like. the results of that istekhara shown that the guy is good for me but there are some hurdles in rishta.
i m so much disappointed. now tell me what shud i do in such a situation.
she has 3 other sons. 2 are married and both the bahu are living with their saas. but i think he wants to fulfill the duty thats on his part.. and NO i haven't met her yet.
well if you love him and he's good for you and everything...then what's wrong with staying with his mother without him?
If she is alone it shouldn't be that difficult....
it doesn't matter if he has other siblings or ppl around to help him/his mom, he's doing his responsibility and as his wife, it also becomes your responsibility too.....
well if you love him and he's good for you and everything...then what's wrong with staying with his mother without him?
If she is alone it shouldn't be that difficult....
it doesn't matter if he has other siblings or ppl around to help him/his mom, he's doing his responsibility and as his wife, it also becomes your responsibility too.....
i agree! i didn't said to him that i wont or i can't. i just said that i m not habitual it will be difficult for me but i will try to my level best
she has 3 other sons. 2 are married and both the bahu are living with their saas. but i think he wants to fulfill the duty thats on his part.. and NO i haven't met her yet.
Both the other bahu are tired of taking care of his mother and they have given him ultimatum to get married and bring a new body to help take care of his mother. It is your choice now. If you are willing to take care of that old frail woman and earn a place in jannat then go for it. Allah will shower you with His blessings.
Both the other bahu are tired of taking care of his mother and they have given him ultimatum to get married and bring a new body to help take care of his mother. It is your choice now. If you are willing to take care of that old frail woman and earn a place jannat then go for it. Allah will shower you with his blessings.
i will be happily living with her. but i m afraid of my ineligibility to perform such a, i wud say, great task.
and the thing you said about his bhabhi's. i dont know about the choti bhabhi but bari bhabhi left her husband about 21 years ago and came pakistan just for her saas. the old lady is not just her saas but bhabhi gives her the place of her mother because she is the women who brought her up.
My two cents are if you love the guy and your fammily is okay with it… and everything else… go for it.
Seriously good men are hard to find and you’ll only kick yourself later if you dont try now. Plus like you said it seems a good rishta and what rishts doesn’t have it’s ups and downs so all in all it seems fair to say that you should just trust you guts and go for it… and best of luck.
