Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
I can't really understand what your problem is! Ok he doesn't work but he do everything else. Do you want to work or become a housewife?
Yes your friends are right you are a lucky woman at least he helps at home and not just sitting on his fat ass and doing nothing as most husband would do if they don't have to work for a living!!!
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
Maybe he can work from home. He seems like a good guy who doesn't have a normal job.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
get.over.yourself miss i-can-hire-a-driver 
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
@OP; you need to encourage your husband to find work instead of putting him down and telling him off all the time. he seems to have developed low self esteem because of the constant criticism you've thrown at him since you've been married.
i understand that its hard when your husband doesnt work. no wife wants to be in that situation, but he is loving and caring towards you and your children and that counts for something. actually it counts for a lot. and he did support you and your kids f or 6 years with his savings didn't he? he didn't live off of you or your money.
perhaps he could start his own business if he has any savings left? some men are not good at desk jobs (the not so educated ones anyway) , but pakistan seems to be filled with men with no degrees and yet many make good incomes.
I dunno if going abroad is a solution but yeah, even if he gets an odd job there its still something.
oh and i don't mean to be rude, but as someone else said, you sound really stuck up just because you have a job. get off the high horse lady. if you're coming to the UK or the west, most women work , look after their kids and do housework without complain. you seem to "only work" and complain a whole lot while your husband takes over your primary responsibilities.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
hasban who make chai.. wat is this sorcery you speak aaf?? 
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
MIND UR LANGUAGE>>>
Hahahaah! You Love him, You can’t digest a witty criticism on him.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
OP, your problem is not that your husband cant take his eyes off you. your problem is that he doesn't earn while you do.
i know it is not something that a wife can digest easily but instead of criticizing him and making him feel worthless you should motivate him to work and in manner that he would pay heed to. your husband looks like the one who wants to have it the easy way. he is trying to avoid the efforts, hardwork and the stress that comes with a job. and as such feels that he is incapable of doing a job. In a situation like this, you need to make him believe in his capabilities(everyone has them), you need to make him unleash his potential and give him that sense that you know he CAN do this instead of bashing him, fighting with him or making him feel low and a failure.
how much qualified he is? if he is not professionally qualified and cant get a job where professionally qualified, experience personnel are required, he can perhaps find a job in areas where less qualified people could fit in.
A job in some call center/customer care center perhaps. A data entry operator job. a travel agent, property agent. if he is good at any subject he can also join some academy, or give tutions as a part time work. if he makes you food and if he is good at cooking, he can start making food on orders commercially from home. there are plenty of work opportunities for less qualified persons too. all he needs to do i gear up and you must support him in that.
Also OP, can you tell how was he supporting you and the kids for 6 years with no work? if he had enough savings that lasted for 6 long years to support a whole family then i think he does know how to make money.
secondly if the decision that you work was yours or was mutually agreed upon, then you should not be pissed off that you are working and he is not.
And you mentioned that you are not interested in household chores, not good at cooking, cleaning, not saliqa mand but a woman in a Pakistani culture is expected to have all these attributes, yet your husband has accepted you the way you are and keeps on expressing his love for you. he is not whining then why is it too hard for you to accept him and love him for who he is.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
He is going through a rough patch in his life and you can make or further break him.
My Fiance has been trying to resettle somewhere out of Pakistan for 5 years now and even after having a job in Karachi in one of the best multi national companies in the world he got two amazing opportunities and after signing the employee contract they went away. Its like haath mein aai huwi chiz chali gai! Let me also mention he doesn't fast, pray or give zakaat but has the purest heart a human can have & has faith in Allah in his heart but is lazy and takes religion for granted. Anyways so my marriage has been on hold for 5 years while on the other hand all my friends got married, relocated to Canada, US, UK, Australia and i was engaged even before they were...all i did was attend their weddings, attend their farewells and answered questions about when is my turn (I dint even have an answer!)
BTW im a very well educated person with a great job in Dubai Mashallah and always had a dream to get transferred to US and work there and live independently for a while..when my fiances thing wasn't working out so many times i thought that did i go wrong somewhere, why is my life stuck like this? cuz i cant go live my dream if i wana get married anytime soon & he on the other hand isn't getting married cuz he is stuck in Pakistan (fyi me & my fiance have a long distance)
This all resulted in me being grumpy, upset, second guessing things and on the other hand he was losing faith in himself every single day. Thing like 'kismat mein nai hai' had become a common discussion and for an ambitious person like me 'kismat' dint mean much and seeing a person who was miserable and self confessed failure was not at all appealing! We were beginning to grow apart..He loves me to death and i did too but i dint know if my future is in right hands.
I did some soul searching when things hit low and decided that no one will love me how this man loves me (my best friends are married to men that should be called dogs, there arnt that many nice men out there!) and i loved him very dearly too!! I realized there are broadly two scenarios how my life could turn out with him:
Best case scenario: I wait more, stay in his life and give it my all to encourage him and motivate him to still keep trying, find jobs with him, discuss market situations and current affairs (ya! my skype chats were newspaper headlines) and when he feels my positive energy in getting this done he gets pumped up too. All this while also feeding him how he should be religiously more active and channel his faith into action. After all this we may just succeed in being together!
Worst case scenario: ill leave my job and shift to Pakistan (the sound of me shifting to pak made him extremely unhappy) but being together at this point mattered more.
One thing was for sure i was NOT going to throw away my relationship because life wasn't turning out to be as i initially planned but i had realized that no ones really does..people have problems inlaws, second wives, cheating husbands etc etc and all i had was a guy who worshiped the ground i walked on having a rough patch in his life. If i cant help and be with him through this what am i here for?
My case hasn't solved yet but my approach is still the '**Best case scenario' **since theni have further suggested that i will continue working in Dubai and call him on husbands visa here but this would mean hell leave his job and come here to find a new one till then ill be supporting the both of us. I'm still trying to deal with how will i deal with the stress of managing a whole household on my income till he gets a job (can be a month or 6 months or more) also how would i present this scenario in front of our family/ friends/colleagues in a way its not embarrassing for me or him cuz if i lie hell feel he fell short somewhere which i don't want to make him feel and if i don't lie i may be a embarrassed as like most people on this forum they'll categorize him as 'biwi ke paise khane wala' and i can't hear that about him!
Sorry my post is long but i thought i should convey a similar experience im living through and my approach on it. I would suggest sit him down and say never to say divorce again and you both work together to solve this situation.
Hope it helps...
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
Pardon me but I have to question your "intelligence" when you type like a teenaged girl.
First of all, you need to lose the attitude. Looking down on domestic chores is absolutely despicable. You have a career? Great. You're a faceless number in a multi-national company. True fulfillment cannot be derived from working. It can be a part of what keeps us happy, as having something to do is essential for humans, but to be defined by your career is a bit sad.
Secondly, your husband needs to get a job. We all agree with you there. Your attitude towards him however, is out of line. You need to respect your spouse or your marriage is already done.
Third, be careful what you wish for. You want a guy who is less sensitive and more career driven? Guess what miss career, that kind of guy will insist on putting his career first, meaning you will be stuck doing the domestic chores you so disdain. Most likely, he would also have thrown you out on your behind for being such a stuck up, ungrateful spouse. I wish I could talk to your husband and teach him how to man up. The sad part is that if he started sticking up for himself you would respect him a lot more. He needs a smack in the face.
Don't get me wrong, it's partly his fault for not realizing that kissing someone's behind and smothering them is going to annoy them. He also needs to find a job if that's important to you, but your attitude needs to change. Marriage is about having a life partner, who you support through good times as well as bad times. If something isn't working you talk to him about it. If he's not listening you involve a marriage councilor or an elder. Keep pushing it until he gets the message but make the message realistic. You're not going to get a husband who is career driven but will also be the primary caretaker of household chores.
I feel like both of you need a kick.
Oh and once again, start typing like an adult.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
Don't get me wrong, it's partly his fault for not realizing that kissing someone's behind and smothering them is going to annoy them.
Unless the smotheree happens to be, and the behind in question belongs to, a man. They are a lot more forgiving in that regard.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
He is going through a rough patch in his life and you can make or further break him.
My Fiance has been trying to resettle somewhere out of Pakistan for 5 years now and even after having a job in Karachi in one of the best multi national companies in the world he got two amazing opportunities and after signing the employee contract they went away. Its like haath mein aai huwi chiz chali gai! Let me also mention he doesn't fast, pray or give zakaat but has the purest heart a human can have & has faith in Allah in his heart but is lazy and takes religion for granted. Anyways so my marriage has been on hold for 5 years while on the other hand all my friends got married, relocated to Canada, US, UK, Australia and i was engaged even before they were...all i did was attend their weddings, attend their farewells and answered questions about when is my turn (I dint even have an answer!)
BTW im a very well educated person with a great job in Dubai Mashallah and always had a dream to get transferred to US and work there and live independently for a while..when my fiances thing wasn't working out so many times i thought that did i go wrong somewhere, why is my life stuck like this? cuz i cant go live my dream if i wana get married anytime soon & he on the other hand isn't getting married cuz he is stuck in Pakistan (fyi me & my fiance have a long distance)
This all resulted in me being grumpy, upset, second guessing things and on the other hand he was losing faith in himself every single day. Thing like 'kismat mein nai hai' had become a common discussion and for an ambitious person like me 'kismat' dint mean much and seeing a person who was miserable and self confessed failure was not at all appealing! We were beginning to grow apart..He loves me to death and i did too but i dint know if my future is in right hands.
I did some soul searching when things hit low and decided that no one will love me how this man loves me (my best friends are married to men that should be called dogs, there arnt that many nice men out there!) and i loved him very dearly too!! I realized there are broadly two scenarios how my life could turn out with him:
Best case scenario: I wait more, stay in his life and give it my all to encourage him and motivate him to still keep trying, find jobs with him, discuss market situations and current affairs (ya! my skype chats were newspaper headlines) and when he feels my positive energy in getting this done he gets pumped up too. All this while also feeding him how he should be religiously more active and channel his faith into action. After all this we may just succeed in being together!
Worst case scenario: ill leave my job and shift to Pakistan (the sound of me shifting to pak made him extremely unhappy) but being together at this point mattered more.
One thing was for sure i was NOT going to throw away my relationship because life wasn't turning out to be as i initially planned but i had realized that no ones really does..people have problems inlaws, second wives, cheating husbands etc etc and all i had was a guy who worshiped the ground i walked on having a rough patch in his life. If i cant help and be with him through this what am i here for?
My case hasn't solved yet but my approach is still the '**Best case scenario' **since theni have further suggested that i will continue working in Dubai and call him on husbands visa here but this would mean hell leave his job and come here to find a new one till then ill be supporting the both of us. I'm still trying to deal with how will i deal with the stress of managing a whole household on my income till he gets a job (can be a month or 6 months or more) also how would i present this scenario in front of our family/ friends/colleagues in a way its not embarrassing for me or him cuz if i lie hell feel he fell short somewhere which i don't want to make him feel and if i don't lie i may be a embarrassed as like most people on this forum they'll categorize him as 'biwi ke paise khane wala' and i can't hear that about him!
Sorry my post is long but i thought i should convey a similar experience im living through and my approach on it. I would suggest sit him down and say never to say divorce again and you both work together to solve this situation.
Hope it helps...
Kudos to you. 5 years on waiting to get married and you stuck with the guy even when he was having basically a crisis of faith, self-esteem and unable to fulfill his desires and life. Now you are a woman any man would be proud to call his wife.
Not many women stick by a their man when he is on his knees.
OP…print this out and tape it to your mirror and read it many times a day .
And please, for all that is holy, start typing insaan’on ki tarha…your posts are excruciatingly painful to get through, take away from your credibility and frankly make you appear extremely ignorant
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
I don't know I might have been looking at this the wrong way but I think she likes someone and is looking for a way out of the marriage. Otherwise who would be crazy enough to leave a guy who is doing that much? Also, her post here seems like she texts a lot and we know she isn't texting her husband.
I might be flammed for posting this but I had to post since that's what I felt. Sorry if it offends anyone...
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
OH SNAPPPPPPPPPP
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
And now that most of the responses have been against the OP, she is gone, probably to make her husband feel more miserable and low.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
Can't say it enough: never give somebody too much attention.
All the people who get too much attention turn into -whatever you want to call that-.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
Op, I know a woman like you. Her husband carried her on hands basically. So she divorced him. He was too nice.
She remarried. Her current husband doesnt let her work or go out without his permission.
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
OP sounds very materialistic and superficial too.
Quote:
"I look too young to be mother of 2 kids. We make a good couple because we are both beautiful"
Unquote
Re: Too much attention of hubby piss me off badly
This thread is classical example that women only consider their husbands as money making machines (A.K.A. ATMs). The more you earn the more respect you get in the eyes of your wives. This is one of the reasons, why we have so much rampant corruption in our society. From a gatekeeper to the president, everyone is involved in making money by any legal/illegal means, to become darling in the eyes of their mistresses, relatives, family, children.
For OP
which one would you prefer from these two options
1- An earning husband who comes home to find that due to your non-existing cooking skills and ability to manage the house, you could not cook anything for him and he beats the hell out of you routinely.
2 - Or a husband who accepts your lack of skills as a wife and allows you to flourish in other aspects of your life (i.e. job).
The way I see it, both of you are not normal and complement each other perfectly. You are not "a house hold kindda lady" and he is not a earning kindda guy. You could be in a lot of trouble if your husband was career oriented guy.