Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Will someone answer my question....err, err MehnazQ.
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
You were having a totally different conversation than the topic. I know you did not personally attack anybody, but others were so all the posts got removed. So yes, if your posts are off topic or completely irrelevant, please expect it to be removed. If you see any off topic remarks in other threads that have not been removed, please contact any of the moderators or Admin.
Thanks.
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Engagement thing is taken from Hindus period. It has no meaning in Islam. You don't have to label every relationship, not boyfriend, not fiance, just your significant other.
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Yes Impulse to make haram into halal is a sin...hence my grievance with how you and others seem to define their significant other...
Care to reply to my post sister...Are we finally in agreement that me having a girlfriend is exactly the same as what you are doing?...
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
N-B-N, i kinda see where you're coming from dude...the sense that girls and boys who r engaged, seem to have some form of higher status than those with bfs and gfs...but like someone said it's all about your intentions- when someone says she's my gf, u immediately think short-term...but when someone says my fiance- u get the impression of long-term commitment....and yeah there's no such thing as engagements- its probably just a cultural thing...
anyways...u admit u r sinning....but is it not a sin in itself to openly admit to be commiting a haraam act...someone once told me that if u r commiting a disliked act....erm...for example not reading my 5 times namaaz, and then someone happens to ask u if u have prayed on a particular day, when u haven't.....it would be best for u to "lie" and say that yes i have prayed...since this way u will uphold the virtues of islam, and prevent doubt from occurring in the other persons mind.... (like oh...Kazi doesnt pray 5 times, then why should i...)
so basically, what i'm saying is...if u sin, and kno u sin then thats between u and Allah...no need to broadcast it...and definately no need to expect others to broadcast their shortcomings either...
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
I totally agree with Naughty By Nature. Preach Brother Preach.
Re: To those who are engaged…stop sugarcoating things…
you have a girlfriend and im sure u sleep with her, hug her, kiss her etc.etc. we dont do anything like that. we just talk…the way i am talking to you right now. so no he is not my boyfriend…just a guy im going to get married to.
to me a bf/gf is someone u have for a short time and then move on to the next one…and this process continues until you’ve had more than you can even count on ur fingers. the whole concept is sick :yukh:
Re: To those who are engaged…stop sugarcoating things…
I agree with kazi :k:
Re: To those who are engaged…stop sugarcoating things…
I kinda see your POV Impulse…but the reality is that Engagements hold no meaning in Islam. It’s a nikaah or nothing…having said that…I also agree that if talking or MSN-ing with your fiance is a sin, then so too is communicating on forums like this…although it isn’t physcial free-mixing…it certainly is free-mixing of the mind and soul.
A fiance with whom you hav had no physical contact, just conversations over the phone…is a lesser “sin” than having a GF who u meet up with regularly and have physical intimacy with! One’s primary concern should be with his/her own actions…not those of nextman
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
A fiance with whom you hav had no physical contact, just conversations over the phone...is a lesser "sin" than having a GF who u meet up with regularly and have physical intimacy with! One's primary concern should be with his/her own actions...not those of nextman
thats true. if me talking with him is a sin, then so is what other people on this forum are doing. Allah knows our intentions and thats all that matters.
you couldnt have said it any better :)
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
you couldnt have said it any better :)
As the saying goes...he without sin, cast the first stone...I guarantee that there aren't many people around these days eligible for the stone-throwing! lol
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Impulse
You said for **you **a bf/gf is something in the short term...what you think is irrelevant...you say Islam matters to you so surely what Allah thinks should matter to you...and in Allahs eyes what you and I do is exactly the same...it is a sin...you think how i do things is sick...thats your perogative...Allah sees what we both do as sick so get that through your head and stop justifying your sin...
And to say Allah knows your intentions is a copout...i can say Allah knows my intentions with my girlfriend...it doesnt mean im not committing sin...intention is nothing without action sister...
And as for whether im concerned about your actions...i really dont care if you sin or not...
My thread was a reply to you being critical of bf/gf relations...i dont like people to sugarcoat things...its simple...sin if you like...just dont start saying that its ok...if i start saying islam says its ok to drink i expect people to correct me...its commanding maruf and forbidding munkar...but obviously you practice your own brand of islam so it wont apply to you...
Kazi
Bro what are you on about?...what proof do you have to suggest that lying about your prayer upholds Islam...if you dont pray then admit you dont pray...where in Islam does it tell you to do otherwise...
And as for me broadcasting my shortcomings...i didnt bring up my girlfriend...she was brought up...i dont expect people do broadcast their shortcomings...what i do expect however is that they dont tarnish Islam by suggesting that there shortcomings are Islamic...bull**** the people all you like but Allah is watching and he knows your sinning...
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
You said for **you **a bf/gf is something in the short term...what you think is irrelevant...you say Islam matters to you so surely what Allah thinks should matter to you...and in Allahs eyes what you and I do is exactly the same...it is a sin...you think how i do things is sick...thats your perogative...Allah sees what we both do as sick so get that through your head and stop justifying your sin...
And to say Allah knows your intentions is a copout...i can say Allah knows my intentions with my girlfriend...it doesnt mean im not committing sin...intention is nothing without action sister...
And as for whether im concerned about your actions...i really dont care if you sin or not...
My thread was a reply to you being critical of bf/gf relations...i dont like people to sugarcoat things...its simple...sin if you like...just dont start saying that its ok...if i start saying islam says its ok to drink i expect people to correct me...its commanding maruf and forbidding munkar...but obviously you practice your own brand of islam so it wont apply to you...
Kazi Bro what are you on about?...what proof do you have to suggest that lying about your prayer upholds Islam...if you dont pray then admit you dont pray...where in Islam does it tell you to do otherwise...
And as for me broadcasting my shortcomings...i didnt bring up my girlfriend...she was brought up...i dont expect people do broadcast their shortcomings...what i do expect however is that they dont tarnish Islam by suggesting that there shortcomings are Islamic...bull**** the people all you like but Allah is watching and he knows your sinning...
all i do is talk.....JUST like everyone on gupshup is talking to each other....just like people in the world talk to each other....we dont do anything physical.....you meet her and do physical stuff too? thats the difference? is it so hard to bloody understand?
get over it now....you said what u wanted to say....I still believe he's my fiance....you really think i would start calling him anything else just cuz YOU told me to? i dont think so!
p.s. first LEAVE your girlfriend.....and intend to never have one....then you can tell me whats right and wrong....otherwise you are just a hypocrite and hypocrites are the worst of people
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Impulse
I think you dont understand...talking is not permitted without mehram...its quite a simple concept..
Allah didnt just set rules on the physical he set rules on interaction to...understand that it is not permitted to you to speak to your boyfriend over the phone...Allah does not see it as acceptable so dont act all holy when you sin like the rest of us...
Sex isnt the only type of zina you know...there is zina of the eyes and zina of the tongue...just cos you dont commit one doesnt exempt you from sin
In Allahs eyes hes a boyfriend...Im not expressing my own opinion which is what you do...im telling you Islams opinion...for someone who claims to be Islamic you use very few of Allahs teachings...and seem to prefer your own needs and wants...
Call him your fiance...i dont care but dont ever suggest that Allah watches you and approves of what you do...i dont expect you to call him anything else because** I** said so...i just hoped for an Islamic sister like yourself **Allahs **teachings would matter but hey i guess im wrong...
And as for hypocrytes being the worst of people i agree with you...thats why i started this thread because i hate hypocracy...
Learn the Islamic definition then type..If i drink and believe it to be haram and tell others it is haram then im not a hypocryte in Islam...however if i drink and believe it to be halal and tell others not to drink...thats a hypocryte...
I believe it is haram to have a girlfriend but have one...you think its halal but tell others its haram...now tell me whos being the hypocryte in Allahs eyes?...
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
So Impulse...since i havent heard a reply from you am i to assume that you have finally accepted my point of view as valid and will no longer spread your hypocrytical views?...
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
^ No shes not posting here anymore, she got mad and left :p
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Allah didnt just set rules on the physical he set rules on interaction to...understand that it is not permitted to you to speak to your boyfriend over the phone...Allah does not see it as acceptable so dont act all holy when you sin like the rest of us...
Sex isnt the only type of zina you know...there is zina of the eyes and zina of the tongue...just cos you dont commit one doesnt exempt you from sin
In Allahs eyes hes a boyfriend...Im not expressing my own opinion which is what you do...im telling you Islams opinion...for someone who claims to be Islamic you use very few of Allahs teachings...and seem to prefer your own needs and wants...
Call him your fiance...i dont care but dont ever suggest that Allah watches you and approves of what you do...i dont expect you to call him anything else because** I** said so...i just hoped for an Islamic sister like yourself **Allahs **teachings would matter but hey i guess im wrong...
And as for hypocrytes being the worst of people i agree with you...thats why i started this thread because i hate hypocracy...
Learn the Islamic definition then type..If i drink and believe it to be haram and tell others it is haram then im not a hypocryte in Islam...however if i drink and believe it to be halal and tell others not to drink...thats a hypocryte...
I believe it is haram to have a girlfriend but have one...you think its halal but tell others its haram...now tell me whos being the hypocryte in Allahs eyes?...
if talking isnt permitted...then why are you talking to me on Gupshup? why do you talk to other girls on Gupshup...
you are like a person who goes around killing people (i.e. a murderer)....and then tell others that its haram to kill someone.....or even hurt them in any way.
according to islam there is no "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" word either...
and I have never used the word "haram" with regards to a boyfriend....I dont use the words "haram" and "halal" on things that are not clear.....who are we to make haram what Allah hasnt made haram?
p.s. sara is right...I wont be posting on here anymore
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Impulse
As a reply to your points...isnt it clear that i dont practice...i know what is halal and haram but i commit haram...you just try and turn haram into halal...as conclusion it is haram to chat on gupshup on most topics other than the deen...it is free mixing...
Lol your murderer example is pathetic...the murderer doesnt commit murder with the persons consent...i dont force free mixing onto people...people who choose to free mix do it with their consent...they know the difference between right and wrong so its upto them whether to talk to me or not...no-one is a victim whilst with a killer there is clearly a victim...
As for Islam not having bf/gf as a word...correct...to Allah it is either halal or haram and as iv shown you...you commit haram but try to sugarcoat it and make it look Islamic by suggesting you have a fiance...
I will say again...my relation with girls is no different to yours...we both commit zina...difference being i accept it to be wrong...you dont...
As for you using the words haram regarding boyfriend relations...the issue is clear in Allahs eyes...and thats what iv told you...you have made a torrid attempt at defending your views...Allah has made it haram...it just doesnt suit you to make it haram...
And as for you not posting anymore...its in your benefit to save face...iv constructively shown you points which you choose to ignore...if you want to live in a false sense of reality and believe Allah accepts what you do then do that...I just think its disgraceful that you show disgust at the actions of others when your actions are as shameful as theirs...
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
NbN there is a BIG difference btw long term relationships and short term relationships: family involvment, babies, marriage...
short term relationships are "playing" and not really healthy (promiscuity promote spreading of deseases, and break ups promote mental weakness, depression, etc...) and they promote social instability and social ties break ups
long term relationships are nice, they BUILD family, future, mutual help btw people and social ties!
the first type is wrong because it is detrimental to society, the second type is right cause it is beneficial to the society.
so no her actions are NOT as shamefull as yours because you are promoting an unhealthy and asocial type of behavior!
fiance is not a way to "halaal" a relationship, it's a clear sign to make it sound long term, and thus RIGHT