Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Your not that much different from me...we both sin...we just do it in different ways...but you will criticise me for having a girlfriend...and poke your nose at gf/bf relations when you do exactly the same thing...
Even now you poke your nose at me for committing haram...ill agree with you...i just want you to admit that you do that aswell...
The idea of a fiance or someone i want to get married to is a joke...its something to make you feel better about yourself and hide the fact that you sin...now i get on well with my girlfriend...have fun what not...and can view a future...i might aswell label her my fiance cos in your worlds that automatically eliminates sin...
Sara
You suggested that it was ok if they intended to get married...i think thats nonsense...my best friend is with his girlfriend for the last 5 years...they will get married when he finishes uni next year...to some on this site thats fine...but he will happily admit hes been sinning for five years...
ENDS DONT JUSTIFY THE MEANS IN ISLAM
you are in no position to judge me....you dont even know me. circumstances can be very different....only Allah can judge....and its up to him to decide who's sinning or not
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Your not that much different from me...we both sin...we just do it in different ways...but you will criticise me for having a girlfriend...and poke your nose at gf/bf relations when you do exactly the same thing...
Even now you poke your nose at me for committing haram...ill agree with you...i just want you to admit that you do that aswell...
The idea of a fiance or someone i want to get married to is a joke...its something to make you feel better about yourself and hide the fact that you sin...now i get on well with my girlfriend...have fun what not...and can view a future...i might aswell label her my fiance cos in your worlds that automatically eliminates sin...
Sara
You suggested that it was ok if they intended to get married...i think thats nonsense...my best friend is with his girlfriend for the last 5 years...they will get married when he finishes uni next year...to some on this site thats fine...but he will happily admit hes been sinning for five years...
ENDS DONT JUSTIFY THE MEANS IN ISLAM
we will get married in the earliest opportunity we have. im just waiting for him to come here and then we're getting married.
The Prophet KNEW he was getting married to Aisha way beofre he actually got married to her....he even used to give her gifts etc. the Prophet and Khadijah used to talk and know each other cuz they were working together in a business.....they talked and knew each other and got married after getting to know each other.. how is it a sin?
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
First things first...
Your Khadijah example is ridiculous...she married the Prophet 15 years before he recieved revelation...he married her in 595 when he wasnt even Muslim and recieved revelation in 610...they werent Muslim when they got married so how can you use that as an example...
And the Prophet didnt know Aisha until he got married to her...he didnt mix with her until he got married...so if you want to use examples of the Prophet use them properly dont tarnish him...
Islam is very specific about male/female relations...
you need to meet with mehram and even then there are only certain things you can discuss...Anything else is haram...
So your telling me not to judge...if i told you i drink you can villify me from Islam as we are judging not from our own thinking but from Islam arent we...
If you werent claiming to judge by Islam then i wouldnt say anything...Most of my friends arent Muslim...they can do what ever they like based on their own views...so i say nothing to them...
You say that you judge by Islam so im just telling you how things are...if your waiting for him...then wait...its fine for you Islamically to meet him with mehram for marriage like i said...but these late night phone conversations are pushing you as close to hellfire as i am with my girlfriend...
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
first of all...this thread needs locking.
second, n by n, nothing against you, but you keeping talking about meeting with mehrams. and in a previous post, you said that you have a gf. ** if she is your **girlfriend, i'm assuming that there isn't a lot of mehrams around, when she is with you. so why are you bashing up impulse when you're taking your gf down with you. hypocrisy ki bhi had hoti hai.
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
^ I don't think he's being hypocritical. At least he admits that he has a gf and does these things and knows that what he does is wrong, his beef is wit those people who do wrong things and then try to JUSTIFY it by saying "oh he's my fiance" when in reality it might not be the case [officially anyway].
Re: To those who are engaged…stop sugarcoating things…
I know there is a glitch in the system and you are being told your posts are in a new thread … well they are, but you won’t be able to access them. Some are off topic and others are personal attacks, which is why posts are being removed. Please stay on topic.
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
The Prophet KNEW he was getting married to Aisha way beofre he actually got married to her....he even used to give her gifts etc. the Prophet and Khadijah used to talk and know each other cuz they were working together in a business.....they talked and knew each other and got married after getting to know each other.. how is it a sin?
u cannot use that example of Aisha (ra) and Khadija (ra) when it is a hukam of Allah that free mixing is not allowed with ghayr mahrems in Islam , and please do not cannot compare your situation or even yourself with that of our beloved nabi (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and there is no concept of engagement in Islam where the girl and guy are allowed to speak and see one another without a guardian but it is permissable with a guaridan, an engagement is merely a confirmation that this person is marrying this person, once the couple have their nikkah they are husband and wife and can enjoy one another's compnay without a guardian present.
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
I've known girls who are married (nikkah only no rukhsati) consider their hsubands as "fiances"... i still think that's dumb as is boyfrend-fiance but watever..
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
Ok first of all i stick to everything i said...like i said to you in your PM Impulse...my intention was not to upset you...you criticised the idea of a boyfriend in another thread and spoke about fiances and stuff...
I'll say it again...there is no such thing as an engagement in Islam and neither are you allowed to speak on the phone without mehram present...thats free mixing...you are either married which you arent or you have a boyfriend...your getting offended because i use a word you dont like but thats the reality...you say Allah knows what your relationship is...i agree with you...Allah doesnt recognise engagements and doesnt accept phone conversations...your families may recognise it but Allah most definitely doesnt...
Everyone has limits to what they do in a relationship...a guy at my uni has to suffice with speaking to his girlfriend on the phone most of time because he doesnt see her...for some limits are hugging...for some limits are kissing...for some its sex...everyone has their own limits of what they do in a relationship but it is that...its a relationship isnt it?...
**AngelEyes **thankyou for dealing with my thread in a rational manner...what you say is absolutely correct...the only reason people speak about fiances to look better to people...this hijabi has had her fiance for two years lol...but will lecture me for the way i do things...we both sin...its just i can admit it...
And to **Sara **and others who think its ok if you intend to get married...your copping out...You say that you study them before you get married...thats how any relationship works...girl im seeing seems like someone i see a future with...but that doesnt mean what i do is acceptable by any means...my friend is getting married to his girl after uni...but that doesnt detract from the fact that the five years they have spent have been in sin...
And Nia i expect better...i dont open up threads for the sake of it...if i disagree with something then ill post it...i dont like sugarcoating...
you lot bring up Islam all the time but please realise that by talking about fiances, phone conversations and 'we're getting married' doesnt hold weight with Allah(swt)...Its sin so stop criticising others who do the same but have different limits...you speak to your boyfriend on the phone its sin...you hug your girlfriend sin...sex your girl its a sin...if you bring up Islam bring it up properly...
You seem to pick and choose what suits you...your not supposed to talk to guys and your not supposed to listen to music for instance...im not saying dont do it...just please dont suggest that Allah is happy with that...If you really fear Allah then listen to him properly...dont just do what suits you and avoid what doesnt suit you...
you're not allowed to free mix before marriage...just cos your parents know about it doesnt make it ok...
Im sorry if i seem like im persoanlly attacking people...but please dont sugarcoat things to make them look more acceptable to people...
i agree with you, i think people just dont like the stigma attched with many things in our society, so they vision themselves as if they are not part of a particular 'type' of people who date, freemix, etc etc. even though they do, so hence the sugar coating.
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
it may be dumb or watever, calling them fiance/boyfriend, but becuase of their mikkah they are husnamd and wife in the eyes of Allah and will not be sinning if the speak to one another or have physical contact, in fact, Allah puts love and mercy in the hearts of the husband and wife for one another.
Re: To those who are engaged…stop sugarcoating things…
Yeah, but they dont c it that way, i know girls who don’t and won’t meet or talk to thier hubby even though they’ve had the nikkah but not rukhsati yet.. Its like.. ur making something thats allowed as being a bad thing as unallowed..i think making something thats halal into something haram is worse than the opposite :o
Re: To those who are engaged...stop sugarcoating things...
...hey this is ridiculous i didn't personally attack anyone or go off topic with my replies and to be told my posts are removed, so does this mean in future all off topic posts will be automatically erased?
Re: To those who are engaged…stop sugarcoating things…
I dunno i perosnally think it is… how would you feel if you had something you wanted so badly right in front of you.. its perfectly allowed, no prohibitions or restrictions whatsoever, and then someoen tells you “no u cant have it”??
Some are off topic and others are personal attacks, which is why posts are being removed. Please stay on topic. 
Its like.. ur making something thats allowed as being a bad thing as unallowed..i think making something thats halal into something haram is worse than the opposite :o