Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband
and for the record, you should be very careful in giving out your own "fatwas" by just looking at the translation of theQur'an.
'audhubillah, did you know that it can be an act of kufr misinterpreting any part of the Qur'an? whether it be intentional or unintentional. It is not your job or my job to look at the translation ofONE ayah and derive a fatwa from it. Especially if you are non arabic speaking.
I'm sure you know that the arabic language is SO vast and there is NEVER an english equivalent to an arabic word. so deriving a statement based on YOUR knowledge of just what the english says is absolutely ridiculous. I'm saying this for your own benefit, go study ulum-ul-qur'an PLEASE before you look too much into things. This is the problem with so many internet scholars. they think they just refer anything to Shaykh Google or Shaykh Youtube and they become a shaykh internet scholar themselves. so sad. SO sad. People don't understand how insanely wrong this is.
Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband
Hotit i mean hottea
The way you say 'the woman needs to obey' comes across very egotistical and chavanistic.
You are not really putting your point across very nicely.
Obey does not mean 'oh great master i serve you' i think 'obey' means, look im going to treat you so well and make sure you dont have any problems in your life and in return i would like you to protect my house, be loyal to me and look after me but not beyond your rights.
And you know what, it needs only a LITTLE care, love and consideration on your part to win your wife all over and she will literally treat you as a master and serve you. We have this in our knowledge that if sajda was allowed to someone after Allah i would have to be our husbands and thats why you are called our Majazi Khuda BUT you have to prove it to deserve it too. Fair and square?
Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband
Mr.HotTea I love how you started off saying "A WIFE MUST OBEY HER HUSBAND" and after everyone corrected, you're now slowly coming around pretending to change your ideas by what you originally meant. It's okay to say you were wrong, it makes you a bigger person.
Yes in Islam we are required to "obey" our husband, but that obidience doesn't mean we are slaves or inferior. Before you start yapping away again, my husband studied in Zakariya Park in South Africa and they always say that a woman's rights come BEFORE a man can state his own. A lot of which woman do is simply for our reward like cooking, cleaning, taking care of the home, living with in-laws, we don't have to do any of these things. But if we want, a MAN must give us our haq because we have the RIGHT to our own space etc.
A relationship between a man and a woman is give and take, there is not "i'm higher then you" -
Here is 2 cents for you - don't get married
Consider this HotTea spilled on you!
I don't know what you're talking about. I have maintained from the begining and still do that wife must obey her husband as per Islam. Now you can't force her to. But that would mean that she is derelict in her duties and not fullfining this important part of her faith even though she might be a hijaban (:D).
Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband
obey every wish of the husband as per islamic rules. For example, the husband cannot order the wife to NOT pray since that would be againist the religion.
You are just trying the downplay the obviious "in-charge" piece for obvious reasons.
With power comes great responsibility. If YOU believe Allah swt gives you a certain amount of power, then you need to learn how to respect it so people respect you. You cant fight or change human nature...a woman might end up fearing you if you force yourself on her but she wont respect or love you. She wont care for you, she will simply do her job and punch out at the end of the day. The more you push people, the more they push you away. If thats the kind of life you want, go for it.
Most of us like to view marriage as a partnership where there is give and take from both sides. You want your wife to "obey" you...most women these days have enough free will where they can obey or disobey...you couldnt do anything about it. You could parade around with this Ayat on a poster board but where will that get you? Nowhere.
With power comes great responsibility. You want respect, you better give it.
You can whine all you want. I'm just putting the wife in her rightful place as per Islam. I have quoted from God (Allah).
The thing is, the wife can put you in your place as well. "Go get me a Louis Vuitton and we shall talk about obedience and until then I better not hear a peep out of you" or "make your own damn food until you learn how to address me with respect" or "hire me a maid and then we can discuss what I will do for you" or "I dont like the color of your mother's outfit today...I want another house of my own NOW and until I get one dont touch me since you're not fulfilling your Islamic duty towards me" or "oh you want obedience? hire a nanny because your kids are too bratty and I dont care if you cant afford one since its your Islamic duty" or "rob a bank if you have to but I think I want a salary now to take care of your brats because that is your Islamic duty and I can milk it since I just felt like it this morning"
Dont go there buddy...your place is to make sure there is enough for wifey to live in whatever way she wants. If you abuse Islam then be prepared to be abused as well. Marry an educated woman and she wont stand for any of this nonsense.
Then what will you do? How many times will you get married? How many women will you go through until you're too old to be wanted by one?
Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband
at the end of the day, the wife has a RIGHT to disobey you and leave you if you are being unjust. and being unjust with her includes treating her like a slave. she's a WIFE, not a slave who should obey every command you say.
i feel sorry for your wife
Calm down. I'm just quoting the quran - if you have to be upset at anything be upset at that ayat. Dont shoot the messenger here.
Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband
With power comes great responsibility. If YOU believe Allah swt gives you a certain amount of power, then you need to learn how to respect it so people respect you. You cant fight or change human nature...a woman might end up fearing you if you force yourself on her but she wont respect or love you. She wont care for you, she will simply do her job and punch out at the end of the day. The more you push people, the more they push you away. If thats the kind of life you want, go for it.
Most of us like to view marriage as a partnership where there is give and take from both sides. You want your wife to "obey" you...most women these days have enough free will where they can obey or disobey...you couldnt do anything about it. You could parade around with this Ayat on a poster board but where will that get you? Nowhere.
With power comes great responsibility. You want respect, you better give it.
You are just regurgitating what I have already said. As for the ayat, yeh women are free to not obey it. But then they are also disobeying Allah as well. Which may or may not bother some people.
[quote]
The thing is, the wife can put you in your place as well. "Go get me a Louis Vuitton and we shall talk about obedience and until then I better not hear a peep out of you" or "make your own damn food until you learn how to address me with respect" or "hire me a maid and then we can discuss what I will do for you" or "I dont like the color of your mother's outfit today...I want another house of my own NOW and until I get one dont touch me since you're not fulfilling your Islamic duty towards me" or "oh you want obedience? hire a nanny because your kids are too bratty and I dont care if you cant afford one since its your Islamic duty" or "rob a bank if you have to but I think I want a salary now to take care of your brats because that is your Islamic duty and I can milk it since I just felt like it this morning"
Dont go there buddy...your place is to make sure there is enough for wifey to live in whatever way she wants. If you abuse Islam then be prepared to be abused as well. Marry an educated woman and she wont stand for any of this nonsense.
Then what will you do? How many times will you get married? How many women will you go through until you're too old to be wanted by one?
[/quote]
LOL, nice. LLouis Vuitten bags, lavish houses? you're making a wife sound more like a hooker.
Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband
The word "bima" is translated as "because" or "since" but it can also mean "with what"
The two places that we read in English as "obedience" are actually two different words in Arabic "Qanitat" and "Ata'nakum"
Qanitat - takes the meaning Obedient to the Will of God, it can mean to stand for a long time and honouring. When applied to humans it should take the recessive meaning since obedience is to Allah (SWT) and by honouring the husband Allah (SWT) is being obeyed.
In fact a better understanding can come from the reflex condition stated in the same ayat (it is often the way of the Qur'an to explain or contextualise itself often in the same or next ayat) - here we are asked "but if the women inspire fear of disloyalty and ill-conduct" - so we clear that the word for obedience must be to Allah (SWT) and it is meant as honouring to their men, for the ayat does not say that we fear disobedience in them, but fear the opposite of honour from them which is dishonour - i.e. ill-conduct and disloyalty.
The second time the word "obey" comes is as the term "Ata'nakum' which means to concede admit fault and return to honouring you. This word is mistranslated in many mushafs .... Check it yourself the root word is T' 'A NA.
The essence of this ayat is that men are carers for their wives and in return for that care receive honour, for those men who fear that their wives are dishonouring them then they have to follow a set procedure to rectify that situation. It is obedience to Allah for a man to care for his wife with what is within his means and a wife should respect and honour him in that situation.
