Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
y?? :khums:
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Nice. 
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
I think he should seek his parent's consent to spend any money on his wife or maybe he shouldn't spend on her even if his parents allow.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Ok maybe u r right with ur location: dislocated...thats messed up....what if your mother was treated like that?
I think he should seek his parent's consent to spend any money on his wife or maybe he shouldn't spend on her even if his parents allow.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Im an old fashioned gal ... what can i say ....Aaj kal toh larikyo ka dimakh karaab ho gaya hai....
apnay zamana jahaliat ka ad har jagha mut lageya kerin.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Come Again Zoobi Doobi
apnay zamana jahaliat ka ad har jagha mut lageya kerin.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
And thank you for proving my point....
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
isn't that consent?? feasible with spouse sounds like having consent/approval of the spouse....
When you have a household to run, a wife and children...its hard to just make money disappear without the other one not even so much as asking where it went.
If she sent money to her parents without discussing things with you (because according to you, even communicating is asking for consent), you would have a little bit of a problem with that too.
I dont think its too much to ask to want to be treated like a partner in the marriage.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
You reap what you sow...if you would like to be asked when your spouse makes a decision...you should set the example and extend the same courtesy.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
yaar punjabi ki taang tor diti hai tus nay. 
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
I love the line
"paisa paenk, dekh tamasha"
throw the money and watch the drama...
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
I think he should seek his parent's consent to spend any money on his wife or maybe he shouldn't spend on her even if his parents allow.
Not a fair comparison cos unless he's living with them they aren't involved in helping with the day-to-day running of the household the way the wife is..
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
I think the wife has a no right to stop the husband from financially his parents of course if the monthly allowance given to the parents does not significantly affect the overall well being of the family. Majority of the parents have no source of income in the old age and the monthly allowance given to parents by the son should be according to his means. Besides this necessary monthly allowance, if the son wishes to give extra money to parents for expenses like house decoration etc, he should then have the wife’s consent.
In my view, the financial responsibilities on the husband in the level of importance should be:
- Meeting the basic needs of wife and children (food, shelter, medical, education)
- Meeting the basic needs of parents (food, shelter, medical) depending on the means and the financial support provided by other children to the parents
- Fulfilling any desires of wife and children (vacations etc)
- Fulfilling any desires of parents (this is where wife’s consent can be/ should be asked for).
If a wife asks to spend money on vacation and stops the husband from providing basic monthly expenses to the parents, the husband should not follow the wife.
**“It is also the duty of the child to provide for his parents, if he is able to do so. The Quran sums up the whole matter in a master concept called Ihsaan, which denotes what is right, good and beautiful (i.e. showing to them kindness, compassion, gratitude, reverence and respect, praying for them and supporting them financially if they are in need.)”
**
(Source: The significance of obedience to parents)
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Its not like taking dictations from your wife. when you share your LIFE with someone you share EVERYTHING. It is just a gesture of your trust and faith in your life partner and in the relationship you share. Now if they have some problems regarding you spending on/for your parents and siblings maybe you need to redress the issue. If you are a sensible person your intellect can tell whether your wife's objections/ displeasures are serious or nonsense. Never take dictations but use your sense. I would appreciate if my husband spends on his family and why not. He better. But as a life partner I expect him rightly to share things just as I do. Not sharing is like hiding and you only hide that which you are afraid of. Helping parents is a privilege and not a shameful thing that you will be afraid of and hide.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Never tell her how much you are making :) Ask for her the budget and negotiate it really hard - then here you go with rest of your money - spend or save where ever you like .... :D
Sad. She is your "life partner", she gives you away herself, leaves her home and people she loves for you, gives you a home, a family, an existence, and you will play hide and seek with her? Is this what an institution of marriage means to you? there cannot be anything lower than husband and wife hiding things from each other, distrusting and mistrusting each other. I will always feel sorry for such couples.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Its not like taking dictations from your wife. when you share your LIFE with someone you share EVERYTHING. It is just a gesture of your trust and faith in your life partner and in the relationship you share. Now if they have some problems regarding you spending on/for your parents and siblings maybe you need to redress the issue. If you are a sensible person your intellect can tell whether your wife's objections/ displeasures are serious or nonsense. Never take dictations but use your sense. I would appreciate if my husband spends on his family and why not. He better. But as a life partner I expect him rightly to share things just as I do. Not sharing is like hiding and you only hide that which you are afraid of. Helping parents is a privilege and not a shameful thing that you will be afraid of and hide.
Of course there should be no hiding from your spouse. But I know one of my aunties used to create a fuss over her husband financially supporting the parents, although they had got the means. So the husband used to send money to the parents without informing the wife.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
obviously for the sake of peace. this was my point too. Dont bring into their notice if they stop you from doing it, but i wonder why would a wife start shouting and yelling like a monster if I want to help my parents. If she has parents too, i think its not a riddle for her to understand I love my parents too just like everyone does, including her. Would she not help her parents if they need, why would she then object on my doing so? but just as you pointed out in a previous post of yours, if I am negligent to basic needs of my wife and children them being my obligation, and bent on making my parents happy in case they dont like my life partner and thats why want me to prefere them and not my wife and children, I think I need to reconsider! my wife didnt fall on the earth out of nowhere nor did my children. I need to create a balance.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
obviously for the sake of peace. this was my point too. Dont bring into their notice if they stop you from doing it, but i wonder why would a wife start shouting and yelling like a monster if I want to help my parents. If she has parents too, i think its not a riddle for her to understand I love my parents too just like everyone does, including her. Would she not help her parents if they need, why would she then object on my doing so? but just as you pointed out in a previous post of yours, if I am negligent to basic needs of my wife and children them being my obligation, and bent on making my parents happy in case they dont like my life partner and thats why want me to prefere them and not my wife and children, I think I need to reconsider! my wife didnt fall on the earth out of nowhere nor did my children. I need to create a balance.
Very true. The wives should not expect the husbands to fulfil their luxury needs while ignoring the basic needs of the parents and I tell you, some wives are like that which is really pathetic.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
In threads similar to this, I'm always surprised how people think that as long the housebills are paid, wife/kids are fed/clothed........and the husband can spend the money however he chooses. What about retirement? What about savings? What's about kids college education? All those thing have a major effect on the wife and/or the children. What if the husband loses his job or gets into an accident and can't work? What if the husband dies? What happens to the wife/kids then if he spends all his money on his parents/siblings and doesn't bother saving for the future?
Marriage is a partnership. It's about about asking "consent" but about working as a team towards a MUTUAL goal. Nothing wrong with giving money/gifts to parents/siblings as long is your spouse is aware of it.
BUT...in order to avoid a clash of values/beliefs in the future......if a man (or a woman) intends on FULLY financially support his parents(or siblings) on a regular basis...(as in send money to them every single month regardless of what's going on in his life).........then he needs to make that crystal clear to the woman BEFORE the marriage. If a woman agrees to marry a man knowing that part of his paycheck will go to his parents every single month regardless of circumstances....then she has no reason to complain about it in the future.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
I don't think paying a small amount for 2 waqt ki roti to parents will affect the husband's ability to save for the future. Of course, the first priority should be food, shelter, education and medical for wife and children. Then the husband can pay nominal amount (or according to his means) to parents. Then the remaining money will be at the wife's disposal foe saving or for using on vacations.
I agree, the guy should inform the girl that he will be financially supporting the parents. However, things become much more complex when there are unmarried sisters also and the parents are retired. The girl and her family should have enough common sense to know that the guy has responsibilities which he most likely will be fulfiling, even when the guy does not explicitly express his plans for financially supporting his sisters weddings and other expenses.