Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
I think he should seek his parent's consent to spend any money on his wife or maybe he shouldn't spend on her even if his parents allow.
I think if she comes across this type of thinking, she has every right to survive in whatever way she sees fit. Whether it means being nice or manipulative or mean...its all fair now.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
I think if she comes across this type of thinking, she has every right to survive in whatever way she sees fit. Whether it means being nice or manipulative or mean...its all fair now.
How come moving her ass out of the house and working for money does not come before getting mean or manipulative?
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
consent NO, Knowledge YES
btw, depends on expenses. If guy is sending money for every-day expenses (food, cloths, bills etc) then any sane wife should not have any problem with that unless parents/siblings back home are wasting money and wife killing her/kids needs here...
Wives who think that parents have no right on sons money - are idiots
Husbands who think that wife should ignore needs here and send money for "aish-o-ishrat" of parents or father - are idiots too
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
So in your view.....
does a guy need to have consent of his wife before spending any money on his family (parents/siblings etc)??
** What is he supposed to do if the wife disagrees?**
no
neither the dude needs his wife's permission or the wife needs her husband's permission before spending on his/her family. (obviously they both need to see that they arenot neglecting their own family in this)
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
i dunno if am being possessive or itz normal that whenever my hubby talks about sending money back home i feel bad about it …i know there will be much criticism on this but m being honest…i know thats sooo wrong and i try to hide my feelings,but itz a difficult moment 
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
No harm in being honest about your feelings. But you need to read the Quran and hadith to know about parents rights. Also put yourself in their shoes and consider all their hardships which they must had gone through to raise your husband (and for that matter think about your own parents and how would it feel if your SILs also feel the same way when your brothers send money to your husband).
If we all start putting ourselves in others shoes and start seeing the situation from their point of view, 90% of the problems would be solved. Of course, it will need understanding and compromise from everyone’s side. But at least we can try.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
No harm in being honest about your feelings. But you need to read the Quran and hadith to know about parents rights. Also put yourself in their shoes and consider all their hardships which they must had gone through to raise your husband (and for that matter think about your own parents and how would it feel if your SILs also feel the same way when your brothers send money to your husband).
If we all start putting ourselves in others shoes and start seeing the situation from their point of view, 90% of the problems would be solved. Of course, it will need understanding and compromise from everyone's side. But at least we can try.
yeah i do TRY to be compromising but i want those bad ssick feelings go away completely..anyways i think itz too early and it will take time...
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
i think its his parents HAQQ especially **if they are needy and for their basic needs, but not necessarily for their luxuries unless he has enough that he can spend on both the luxuries and needs of his parents and wife ...i think he shud spend on the siblings only and only** if his siblings are needy
the key is balance..if he starts neglecting his wife and kids for his parents and siblings...there needs to be some serious reflection on his part
and this goes for the wife too
neither needs permission but both partners should have knowledge and both partners should make sure they have and continue to keep their own home on a solid foundation before spending on others
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
How come moving her ass out of the house and working for money does not come before getting mean or manipulative?
How come treating your wife like a human being doesnt come before treating her like garbage? Consulting with your parents before spending a dime on your life partner is pretty pathetic...not to mention asking for trouble. You go ahead and deal with your wife how you wish...but then dont be surprised if she retaliates back to survive in a bad marriage.
Why do some people feel being just with someone means being UNJUST with someone else? Why does it have to hurt anyone at all? Does common sense go out the window when dealing with relationships?
Maybe you would feel differently if your mother was treated the way you're wanting to treat your wife.
Its funny how it takes a horrible experience to make people realize they should just behave and be good to others.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
i think Husband does not need his wife permission to spend money on his parents. Wife should be understanding in this matter. And husband should keep balance between his wife and parents.
But i am totally against when husband starts supporting his married brother.. it is really irritating. He can spend his money on his siblings (unmarried sisters and brothers), even married sisters if they need financial help. but big NO to married brother. He should take responsibility of his family.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Dude marriage is about give and take, its about sacrifice and compromise, it goes both ways, there needs to be an understanding developed between the couple and if the girl thinks of her inlaws like her own family she shouldnt have a problem with him doing anything for them bc they are her family too...
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
if the girl thinks of her inlaws like her own family she shouldnt have a problem with him doing anything for them bc they are her family too...
and that is a very very rare thing.....
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
^how can a girl think of her in laws as her own family when in laws themselves dun think like that...no matter,no matter how good in laws pretend to be,and no matter how nice their bahu is towards them,they wud still not think of her as they would think of their own daughter or son...100% experienced...
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
How come treating your wife like a human being doesnt come before treating her like garbage? Consulting with your parents before spending a dime on your life partner is pretty pathetic...not to mention asking for trouble. You go ahead and deal with your wife how you wish...but then dont be surprised if she retaliates back to survive in a bad marriage.
Why do some people feel being just with someone means being UNJUST with someone else? Why does it have to hurt anyone at all? Does common sense go out the window when dealing with relationships?
Maybe you would feel differently if your mother was treated the way you're wanting to treat your wife.
Its funny how it takes a horrible experience to make people realize they should just behave and be good to others.
Wow what a rant. I feel for your horrible experiences that taught you all that. Let me go through my own experiences and learn from it and don't take any of my views personally.
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
^how can a girl think of her in laws as her own family when in laws themselves dun think like that...no matter,no matter how good in laws pretend to be,and no matter how nice their bahu is towards them,they wud still not think of her as they would think of their own daughter or son...100% experienced...
Even if a girl doesn't consider her in-laws 100% family, she can still consider them 50-70-90% family. Don't we consider families of our close friends as our own? Ok we cannot consider our in-laws as our real parents and siblings but they are the people whom our husbands love and care for and we can at least try to give them half the love and respect which we give to our parents and siblings.
If we can be polite and good to our friends and colleagues and want to have good rapport with them in general, we can try the same behaviour with them. I agree that it depends on the in-laws alot and these relationships are complex. But we can try to have a reasonably good relationships with them despite the unavoidable occasional disagreements (which we also experience with our own family but we tend to ingore these because they are our family).
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Bechaari Ashy 
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Ab kia ho gaya???
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
Aap deewar main maatha maar k kya haasil karo gi?? 
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
I know there is no use. But still… practising my writing skills :o
Re: To ladies..husband supporting his family
It wasnt a rant…it was just the honest truth. In this day and age, you cannot possibly expect a woman to live like a piece of furniture in your home. You will do what you feel is necessary to be there for your parents and she will do what she needs to do to survive in a bad marriage.
My post simply served as a preview of what lies ahead when pursuing what seems to be your thought process.