To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

[Sara516]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

@pakwoman

I think everyone's missing on a huge chunky fact here... sex before marriage is zina right... ? An unforgivable sin like murder, rape, drinking etc. Even a Companion of the Prophet (p.b.u.h) committed this act and then confessed and asked for the due punishment of being stoned to death so he could be forgiven by Allah. Thus it's not a small deal... even today or ever... for a Muslim man or woman. In order to be forgiven you have to take the due punishment for it even if you do tauba... you are excused only if you weren't aware of this at the time you committed the act. So I wouldn't take him even if it meant staying single for the rest of my life... since he has crossed the line.

What in the world?!!

There is no sin that cannot be forgiven EXCEPT for shirk.

Once you sincerely do tauba/repent, you dont' have to take the punishment for it.

[Deeba1234]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

@pakwoman

I think everyone's missing on a huge chunky fact here... sex before marriage is zina right... ? An unforgivable sin like murder, rape, drinking etc. Even a Companion of the Prophet (p.b.u.h) committed this act and then confessed and asked for the due punishment of being stoned to death so he could be forgiven by Allah. Thus it's not a small deal... even today or ever... for a Muslim man or woman. In order to be forgiven you have to take the due punishment for it even if you do tauba... you are excused only if you weren't aware of this at the time you committed the act. So I wouldn't take him even if it meant staying single for the rest of my life... since he has crossed the line.

The bits of ur post in blue are definitely not true.. Where did u learn this???

The punishment applies only if there are 4 witnesses to the actual penetration or a confession and besides if u've had sex before marriage you're encouraged to keep it to yourself ('conceal ur sins') unless it directly affects other ppl eg. u have an STD or gotten someone pregnant or something..

"A prostitute was forgiven by Allah, because, passing by a panting dog near a well and seeing that the dog was about to die of thirst, she took off her shoe, and tying it with her head-cover she drew out some water for it. *So, Allah forgave her because of that." *

(Sahih al-Bukhari, 4/538)

[PakWoman]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

@Sara516

What in the world?!!

There is no sin that cannot be forgiven EXCEPT for shirk.

Once you sincerely do tauba/repent, you dont' have to take the punishment for it.

I am talking about the Shariah law here... rest is obviously b/w Allah and that individual.
Verses 24-2,3 says: "The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication flog each of them with 100 stripes." “The adulterer shall not marry save an adultress, and the adultress shall not marry save an adulterer or an idolater All that is forbidden unto believers.”

[Sara516]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

@pakwoman

I am talking about the Shariah law here... rest is obviously b/w Allah and that individual. Verses 24-2,3 says: "The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication flog each of them with 100 stripes." “The adulterer shall not marry save an adultress, and the adultress shall not marry save an adulterer or an idolater All that is forbidden unto believers.”

...

@Deeba1234

Bit in blue is definitely not true.. Where did u learn this???

The punishment applies only if there are 4 witnesses to the actual penetration or a confession and besides if u've had sex before marriage you're encouraged to keep it to yourself ('conceal ur sins') unless it directly affects other ppl eg. u have an STD or gotten someone pregnant or something..

Pakwoman, as an example there's a famous hadith about a prostitute who gave a thirsty dog water to drink and because of this her sins were forgiven..

[redvelvet]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

@pakwoman

" “The adulterer shall not marry save an adultress, and the adultress shall not marry save an adulterer or an idolater All that is forbidden unto believers.”

^The problem is that there are men out there who (despite being adulterous) wish to marry a virgin woman....and do so. There's no way for a girl to tell if he's a virgin....and there's no 100% foolproof way to determine the same for a woman. Although this is what the Quran says.....how many put this in practice? There are people who will not admit to committing zina....for fear of social consequences....and there are also society's double standards to contend with.

[Deeba1234]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

The punishment is actually meant to stop sex outside marriage ever becoming seen as** 'normal' or totally accepted by society**, that's why the conditions for punishment are set so strictly with the need for 4 witnesses etc. The aim obviously isn't to go round lashing or killing every single person who has done it, after all how many couples are going to do it in front of 4 people watching..

[PakWoman]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

@Deeba1234

The bits of ur post in blue are definitely not true.. Where did u learn this???

The punishment applies only if there are 4 witnesses to the actual penetration or a confession and besides if u've had sex before marriage you're encouraged to keep it to yourself ('conceal ur sins') unless it directly affects other ppl eg. u have an STD or gotten someone pregnant or something..

"A prostitute was forgiven by Allah, because, passing by a panting dog near a well and seeing that the dog was about to die of thirst, she took off her shoe, and tying it with her head-cover she drew out some water for it. *So, Allah forgave her because of that." *

(Sahih al-Bukhari, 4/538)

Yes such instances are there... but what is haraam is haraam - our religion has been completed thus we know what is right and what is wrong.

What is the punishment of murder in Shariah law...?I am not even talking about witnesses here... for instance I am just saying... if you murdered someone would you just get on with your life... just because no one saw it expecting Allah to forgive you or will you confess and take the punishment Allah has ordered for such an act in order to get rid of the guilt and make sure Allah forgives you... its common sense really... otherwise you will never be sure that you're forgiven. That's what I meant by unforgivable... that you have to pay the price for it according to the Islamic law. If the punishment for fornication is a 100 stripes or even stoning to death according to some traditions than I will have to take that punishment in order to expect forgiveness for such a major sin:

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.
The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace”[al-Furqaan 25:68-69]

The punishment must be carried out in this world on the one who has committed zina (fornication or adultery), as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment”
[al-Noor 24:2]

[PakWoman]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

@redvelvet

^The problem is that there are men out there who (despite being adulterous) wish to marry a virgin woman....and do so. There's no way for a girl to tell if he's a virgin....and there's no 100% foolproof way to determine the same for a woman. Although this is what the Quran says.....how many put this in practice? There are people who will not admit to committing zina....for fear of social consequences....and there are also society's double standards to contend with.

True that. That's the real issue to be discussed... not that fornication is even a big deal or not since we all know that it is.

[system]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

A person has the right to desire any quality that they want in a spouse. Edal has the right to want a virgin wife. That's not the issue here. The issue is the hypocrisy of demanding or feeling entitled to a pure wife when you are far from it yourself. And the even bigger issue is calling a non-virgin woman "trash" and reducing her to an object.....and not including yourself under that label for committing the sin just because you're a man and did taubah.

My friend has been in the same situation for a very long time with one of the Pakistani man and the guy was a complete liar. He flirted with her for 3+ years, used her good, and went back home & married a virgin even she was a virgin to begin with.... This is totally unfair to the girl because she was in love as he promised her that he will marry her.... He destroyed her life...

[Shak]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

aap nay kahan se iis thread ko zinda kar diya hai

[CEO1]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Well in short guys who play/mess around etc don't deserve anything but a similar girl. Leave the decent guys and girls to themselves. They can have the rest.

[system]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

aap nay kahan se iis thread ko zinda kar diya hai

lol.... friend ki situation ko zinda kiya hai.... Why does some men become playboys and marry a virgin back home?

[system]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Well in short guys who play/mess around etc don't deserve anything but a similar girl. Leave the decent guys and girls to themselves. They can have the rest.

Yes, they deserve a similar girl..... But why do they mess around and make them girlfriends and get a virgin from back home?

[CEO1]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Yes, they deserve a similar girl..... But why do they mess around and make them girlfriends and get a virgin from back home?

Not sure dudette. However, theyre not doing justice to the decent guys.

Maybe it is a "I can do what ever I want and I get what I want attitude.

[Shak]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

lol.... friend ki situation ko zinda kiya hai.... Why does some men become playboys and marry a virgin back home?

Ye sawaal uun se poochain aap

[system]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Not sure dudette. However, theyre not doing justice to the decent guys.

Maybe it is a "I can do what ever I want and I get what I want attitude.

Your right, they use decent girls along with non-decent girls, make promises to them and leave them to get married to a girl back home with hajab which shows those guys narrow minded mentality & their insecurities.... Whats up with a double-standard mentality? It hurts those girls that are involved in these situations... They are complete liars!!!

[Naabigh]

Re: To all the men who want a “pure” virgin wife

so what’s the conclusion

[system]

Re: To all the men who want a “pure” virgin wife

@Naabigh

so what’s the conclusion

Its hard to differentiate these types of men because they are good at lying…

[Amoureux_de_la_vie]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

^How long were they together? He had to be a really, really, realllyyyy good liar.

[system]

Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

^How long were they together? He had to be a really, really, realllyyyy good liar.

3yrs and 5months... He set the girl up for it because he acted like the most decent guy on earth, he used my friend good, left her.. At the same time, he was involved with many other girls, left them too. He went to Pakistan, look for hajabi girls for marriage... This really broke my friend's heart since she belongs to a decent family as he has lied about 90% of the things with her....