To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

THIS! I was typing exactly this answer - it's the hypocrisy that is appalling. How dare EDAL look down at women for having a past when in fact he was responsible for certain women having a past.

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

I strongly agree ....we'll said!

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

I regret opening this thread,

it's my fault anyway i dont think i communicated myself very well. Rather than focusing on whether a non virgin guy deserves a virgin i wanted to focus on the whole mentality on having a virgin woman though you are not a virgin yourself.

I know these men will enjoy the physical aspect of deflowering (yuk) but they do this whilst they think their wife doesn't have any knowledge about anything or expectations of him. She has a sort of child-like mind, so he neglects her in this aspect because he thinks she doesn't know any better. It's mainly due to insecurity.

But say if she does have alot of knowledge of this. I really hate to be graphic and I'd probably get banned but here goes, she knows what men need to do to satisfy a woman, but she somehow doesn't get it from him, would you think less of her if she suggested it to you? Would you be surprised on the knowledge she has and that she knows what she wants?

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Re: To all the men who want a “pure” virgin wife

.

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

diwana, i don't agree with your pov, but you actually seem educated and make some sense so don't take this as a fight lol

men don't forget their first love either

but why can't a women do the same?

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Thanks for the kind words. But I want to fight with no gloves on and being truthful..just use pillow to fight...more fun. ;)

Men may not forget the first encounter, but what I said is that men can still give hundred percent to next relation/encounter, compared to women....unless..... you know what..:)

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Diwana.

I disagree completely with this flawed mentality. My opinion is that you are not looking at the bigger picture and its hard because men really truly do want to believe that the world has not changed. But it has. It really has.

All the independent, educated and career oriented women I know that are single...are no more miserable than the men I know in similar situations. They dont cry, whine, complain or beat themselves up about it anymore than men do.

I will give you my own example...not stories I hear from other people or random strangers I barely know. Myself. I am divorced. No man pays my bills. I am educated. I work. I have a tight circle of friends and I have a warm, caring family that I am surrounded by Alhumdulillah. Sure, it was sad going through my separation but am I miserable? No freaking way. Inshallah, if Allah has written marriage in my qismat...so be it. If not, I have other plans that are realistic and attainable. With our without a man, they will come to fruition. Its not the end of the world diwana for girls like me if we dont get married. We support ourselves and do everything we want.......EVERYTHING. The world has indeed changed. I do NOT regret being single. I love my life and everything Allah swt has blessed me with. I cannot ask for more.

There are girls like me who are business owners and professionals that are doing things they want every single day. Do they miss having a partner? Sure. But no more than any man does. No one I know is dying or depressed over being single. If anything, they enjoy themselves and the freedom it has to offer. If it happens, it happens. If it doesnt, life goes on and women now have their careers as their back up plans. These women still go on vacations, smile, live and do the things that make them happy.

The things you're talking about are from an era long gone...from my grandmother's time. When a woman couldnt work, go to school (although my grandmothers still did) and needed a man to do things for her. She doesnt anymore.

I know this wont make sense to you right now...but it will at some point. Maybe when you have a daughter of your own. You will make sure she has what it takes to be her own woman with or without a man like my parents did. At that point, you will understand exactly how much the world has changed.

And you will be grateful.

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Thanks fo sharing the info Reha.

If anything you can get out of my earlier posts is just read the word 'more' a little more carefully.

I have said both men and women need opposite person.

But what you seem to have not unerstood is that I did not mean to demean women who have pride.

What is problematic here is that despite you said 'independant' women are just as happy as 'indepenant' men are and want to find a perfect, chaste men and should not compromise.

Men do compromise. But women in real world have to compromise MORE. That is the fact. Take it or not.

I am not here to take the pride, self respect and independance of single/divorced or independant women away. More power to them if they can find the way to live a long life without men.

All I said was men have better ways to live that kind of life, since woman who lives that kind of life ANYWHERE in this world will still have multiple issues to deal with which only a man can do.

Can a woman change tire of her car/SUV at night on a dark road by herself? Just kidding.

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Yeah, if a girl should be willing to forget a guys past, why shouldn't a guy be willing to do the same.

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

ummm Nadz hubby, who do you think compromises more? just kidding

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

So you did mean to write why men cannot do the same.

Yes, men do that a lot of time. No news.

But if a man does not want to ignore her past, then he CAN do that with more choices. Most women cannot. Women have less of the choices.

Remember, a man who has been around has more to offer to a woman than a woman who has been around, all things considered same.

It boils down to the comparison of a man who has been pig/dog than a woman who had been...............

Got it?

lol.

I need to read Nadz posts again but can guess what you might be implying. Not true. But for now ...got your joke. Very funny. :D

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

The argument that men can sleep around whilst women can't cos 'they can get away with it in our society' is ridiculous.. It's like saying it's ok to go and steal a car long as u don't get caught..

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

We've heard the arguments that women like men who have had many women partners and men do not like women who have had many male partners, however there is another side to this:

There are also those women who only like men who are not free with their seeds and likewise there are those men who like popular women. There are indeed men who say they want experienced women.

Now for those who want spouses:
It is a natural desire in us to want virginity. This is seen by the hadith that the prophet Muhammad (SAW) stated that his preference was to marry a virgin. This may be for other reasons beyond carnal desire however we can understand that it is a fitrah (natural disposition) to want and desire purity one of the forms of this is virginity.

I totally disagree that men despise the idea of marrying a non-virgin however. Converted women to Islam, widows and divorced women are amongst the choices that men have and there is no harm in it. Those men who do not prefer this have issues of psychological nature, a sense of inadequacy in themselves.

It is only important or relevant to men whose lives revolve around "sex", for those men who seek emotional, habitual and spiritual fulfilment from life neither worry nor feel horrible about other men having been with their wives at some distant time. As long as the contract of marriage in that state is being upheld then it doesn't matter to them in the slightest.

The disease of choosing to make our lives penis-centric will cause many inadequacies to men and bring harms to society. This is a matter that has been prevalent in human history and more so in this day and age, which is where the men on this thread are arguing from, personal experience on the society in which they currently live.

Even women find themselves prone to making the problem worse by turning the male genitalia in to a point for discussion. This will no doubt cause men to feel that the region holds some importance and hence make them very particular to women who have experienced other men. It is the fear of comparison.

Men who think like this have a strong sense of mistrust towards womankind in general and when marrying to get a wife who is a virgin will also look for "obedience" in them too. They will want to dominate them in every way and will themselves still look to other women and flirt with them or worse.

There are some very religious men I know who are happy to marry non-virgins if their religion is strong. They do prefer virgins just as the wisdom of the prophet Muhammad (SAW) tells us. Once a man is divorced then his requirements also become more varied and he becomes more willing to marry divorced women. I have a friend (male) who is divorced and he is finding it hard to marry young virgin women. He will have to open his doors to women of other varieties and that is the pattern in life.

We often see what we want in society so it is wrong that people have said what they said, really they are reflecting a the "norm" of what they experience through the prism of their own minds and assisted by popular media. I feel the whole issue is more complicated than that.

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

Maybe they just tell him they're not virgins to get rid of him.

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Re: To all the men who want a “pure” virgin wife

you’re awesome and so strong in my eyes. totally love what you’ve written :hugz:

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

I think we are being diverted away from the topic.

In Islam, men and women MUST NOT have any physical contact before marriage.
However, we are all prone to mistakes, and if they have had sexual encounters then they must repent to Allah, and Allah only as he is the most forgiving.
They should then live their lives in love and harmony with their chosen partner and love each other only, and i think they should not discuss the matter further.

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

bro arafat n psyah......if we listen to you....unfortunately the thread can not continue....because more must be said about 'men' being evil...:D

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

come on, they gave a decent response, don't discourage them

I just read the why joint/why separate thread and that was total bheja fry lol, i need some sensible post

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Re: To all the men who want a “pure” virgin wife

Thank you. :hugz:

sigh

Men are not evil. But they do put themselves into that corner when they push a concept that is archaic. What would men prefer? That a woman agrees with what they say, correct? Im sure. How happy do you think a woman will be with a man that just expects her to agree with him all the time? She may be quiet if she so chose but she wont be happy. Then, why marry NomiCA? Why marry at all if you dont marry for happiness in this day and age?

Maybe its that whole “bebass and majboor aurat” that people are used to seeing…as much as men want a strong woman…they cant seem to let go of the dependence a bebass woman had. In that case, its simple: you cannot have your cake and eat it too. You give some and you take some. The perfect woman does not exist and as much as women compromise…men must also.

Times are changing and people should accept that…

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Re: To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

I think the thread has become a 'khichRi'/'Bauli Bhujiya'. :)

I only stated the facts.

Some women do not want to accept the facts based on available info to all of us.

If time has not changed over so many centuries, then why make a claim it is changing now?

I say again: With open challenge.

If the man has repented then go for him. If you will not, he will find someone else with lot more choices.

Women do and have to compromise more than men.

Women need men more, than men need women as companion.

Please prove me wrong without emotions and 'khali Khooli Baatein (empty rhetorics)'.

Women will fall short if try to be 'independant' for many many reasons.

One simple reason I gave above and no answer for that. Humm.

P.S. Do not condone premarital intimate relation for neither men nor women.