*double post
mehnga roay aik baar…sasta roay baar baar..
Re: Thoughts on marrying a really...
In my opinion one should always marry the one who matches his/her financial level / position !
Because whenever there is an argument the wife if from a well off family ends up hearing "barey ghar ki haina isliye itnay nakhrain hain ! " or if she is from a poor family she ends up hearing " chotay ghar ki haina isliye soch bhi choti hai "
I have seen the chotay ghar wala scene from my own eyes and suffered the well off family wala situation myself.
The very thought that I should marry a poor girl sounds very evil to me. What is the purpose behind marrying a girl from a poor family purposefully ? obviously you want to control her and want to rule her. Otherwise you should not be judging a rishta on basis on wealth . It has been disused here as a personal trait where as it is actually not !
you know that's what i want to do (for sawaab purposes) . Marry someone real poor as long as she has good character, decent looks. but my family is putting doubts in my mind.. marrying a poor girl isn't a wise decision.. she would be greedy, put more her family needs before yours etc
also thinking about marrying a girl from a village, a lot of them are simply and i love simplicity, again people are putting doubts. You won't click with her etc
anyone here married a village girl?
I think it depends on you, what kind of a person you are and how much you are tolerant of people different than you. Coming from a diff background than yrs would mean she wud have difference of opinion over most things and would have a diff lifestyle and may need alot of time to adjust to yrs. So if you think you are capable of giving the other person the time and support that they wud need to adjust to yr world then go ahead with it otherwise dont bother.
Marriage in itself is about alot of changes and adjustments so if you are not a strong person then i would not advice you to go into further complications.
wht they said :k:
money or her origin or place of residence neither make her a good or a bad person..its who she is as an individual which is imp and to be considered.
Marry her but only if you love her, not as a favor, its gonna be like a Cinderella story! :D
and as far as the ethics and manners are concerned, they can be learnt and table manners can be taught as well :)
If you really love her then go ahead...its gonna be a fun journey...
and i dont get this sawab business. For some reason, that just doesnt gel with me.... u only want to do this so at the end u get sawab? not because u actually want to marry someone for them...? hmmm
An act of kindness, charity etc...yes.... But marriage shouldn't be either one of those.
problem is not marrying a really "poor" girl.
The problem is cultural/society/enviornmental difference. ** Imagine a situation, you are in a fine rest. and have three forks for different types of food, on the other hand she has her hand for every thing, quite embarrassing.. **
& ..
dude, you are a privileged person, she is not. Her grownup environment is total different then compares to yours - it will be very hard for you to navigate her family & yours being with her.
Their are others way to help too, if you want sawab - don't just make hell your life and her too.
That's a really bad example.....these things can be taught...
That's a really bad example.....these things can be taught...
that was just an minor example, does he have will power to taught everything ?
i don't think so, we the men have little temper regarding such things.
not workable.
lahori..u sound like u know what u want..nd ur very comfortable marrying someone from a poor class and u r very confident in ur views about it..so i say do what makes u happy..
nothing is easy..but if u r happy with ur decision n its what u want 2 do then that will make it easier for u to deal with bumps along the road..
vohi karo jo tumhara dil kehta hai..shadi bia me sense ki koi jaga nehi hai just feelings..sab teek hoga
GOOD LUCK!
problem is not marrying a really "poor" girl.
The problem is cultural/society/enviornmental difference.
*Imagine a situation, you are in a fine rest. and have three forks for different types of food, on the other hand she has her hand for every thing, quite embarrassing.. * & ..
dude, you are a privileged person, she is not. Her grownup environment is total different then compares to yours - it will be very hard for you to navigate her family & yours being with her.
Their are others way to help too, if you want sawab - don't just make hell your life and her too.
embarrassing? nah not for me, i could careless.
Poverty does not make anyone a better person. Poor can be evil and rich can be virtuous.
i totally agree. you have to start somewhere, so i am trying to figure out if i want to start from village or city etc
In my opinion one should always marry the one who matches his/her financial level / position !
Because whenever there is an argument the wife if from a well off family ends up hearing "barey ghar ki haina isliye itnay nakhrain hain ! " or if she is from a poor family she ends up hearing " chotay ghar ki haina isliye soch bhi choti hai "
I have seen the chotay ghar wala scene from my own eyes and suffered the well off family wala situation myself.
The very thought that I should marry a poor girl sounds very evil to me. What is the purpose behind marrying a girl from a poor family purposefully ? obviously you want to control her and want to rule her. Otherwise you should not be judging a rishta on basis on wealth . It has been disused here as a personal trait where as it is actually not !
my lifestyle is very simple. Even tho i own some gucci jeans, 90% of the time i wear scandals in summer, and plain clothes. so, i think i might be better off with a lower class girl than high class.
i'm pretty sure you can control some middle class girls too. I'm thinking about marrying, not thinking about buying a slave. I don't think i have what it takes to handle rich girl attitude, lifestyle etc. I dont' have desire to reach the sky, make a name for myself etc so i think i might better off with a lower class.
Marry her but only if you love her, not as a favor, its gonna be like a Cinderella story! :D
and as far as the ethics and manners are concerned, they can be learnt and table manners can be taught as well :)
If you really love her then go ahead...its gonna be a fun journey...
Obviously i am NOT going to marry just any girl with my eyes closed. Of course, i am gonna talk to her and see if she is what ia m looking for and i am what she is looking for. I guess, my starting point would be lower class (city), or village if no luck then try somewhere else.
my lifestyle is very simple. Even tho i own some gucci jeans, 90% of the time i wear scandals in summer, and plain clothes. so, i think i might be better off with a lower class girl than high class.
You can't just base your assumptions on the way you dress and the way a village girl might dress. I think that's naive. You may find a girl among the middle class who is more simple....and one from the lower class who has more nakhray. People are more than just their environment and socio-economic class. You might even come across a village girl...who after marrying a wealthy guy....desires the finer things in life...and gets carried away. "Simple" does not only refer to dressing...it can also include outlook/perspectives/attitude. "Simple" can be a "complex" concept.
i'm pretty sure you can control some middle class girls too. I'm thinking about marrying, not thinking about buying a slave. I don't think i have what **it takes to handle rich girl attitude, lifestyle **etc. I dont' have desire to reach the sky, make a name for myself etc so i think i might better off with a lower class.
You can find "rich girls" who are humble and down to earth and "village" girls that are the opposite. Can't lump people into one category. And the desire to succeed....make a positive name for yourself and a positive difference in this world....is not only confined to the wealthy.
my lifestyle is very simple. Even tho i own some gucci jeans, 90% of the time i wear scandals in summer, and plain clothes. so, i think i might be better off with a lower class girl than high class.
i'm pretty sure you can control some middle class girls too. I'm thinking about marrying, not thinking about buying a slave. I don't think i have what it takes to handle rich girl attitude, lifestyle etc. I dont' have desire to reach the sky, make a name for myself etc so i think i might better off with a lower class.
I don't think you are looking for a poor girl ...I think u r looking for a simple girl. Rich girls can be simple too whereas poor girls can be quite demanding. It's a completely personal trait and has got nothing to do with wealth.
You don't have the desire to reach the sky but what if your so called lower class better half does :)
Re: Thoughts on marrying a really...
^He's oversimplified things. And I wonder if the desire for a "village" girl may a little something to do with purity/chastity.
You can find "rich girls" who are humble and down to earth and "village" girls that are the opposite. Can't lump people into one category. And the desire to succeed....make a positive name for yourself and a positive difference in this world....is not only confined to the wealthy.
true but honestly how many rich girls (percent wise) are humble, simply and down to earth???
i went to a school full rich kids (houses worth millions), rich girls were **** to other girls, too much attitude.
Re: Thoughts on marrying a really...
You cant predict that what will happen in such cases....i have seen some cases where poor girls after getting married to a comparatively wealthy men get out of control....transforming from a completely simple and humble sort to an ultra mod variety.....they just dont seem to handle it properly...while others get more humble and modest....it all depends on the lady....just make sure she is well educated, sensible and decent....whether poor or not!
^He's oversimplified things. And I wonder if the desire for a "village" girl may a little something to do with purity/chastity.
.
You cant predict that what will happen in such cases....i have seen some cases where poor girls after getting married to a comparatively wealthy men get out of control....transforming from a completely simple and humble sort to an ultra mod variety.....they just dont seem to handle it properly...while others get more humble and modest....it all depends on the lady....just make sure she is well educated, sensible and decent....whether poor or not!
look you don't know how the person is going to turn out down the road. poor, rich, educated, etc.. but you have few things in mind.. starting point, some preference and you go with those.
girls here think doctor is a good catch, but can you be sure doctor would treat you good, would have good character, keep you happy etc no, yet most ppl go after doctors.. in their eyes doctor has higher probability of being good husband/match compare to truck driver.
to me most rich girls are **** percent wise. i wanna stay away from them. just a preference, based on my experience.