I don't understand why all the men are saying 'divorce her ass', atleast give the man a chance to discuss this with his wife. it doesn't look like that has happened in any real way. If it was the other way around and anybody had suggested divorce all hell would break loose
Fair enough, the guy should talk to her and make his concerns known. If she comes around and wants to work on the marriage and her faults, good. If she doesn't, divorce her.
I don't think the OP talked about depression, I think you and RV did which to be honest sounded like a sad excuse on part of the wife here.
again i was giving antidepressants/medications as an example of something that would cause very low libido or sex drive to the point of having problems in the bedroom. I and RV did not suggest she has depression. the presence of illnesses was mentioned.
:hinna: i wish you would read my comment carefully, and i think i had missed it before but there are kids involved in this, 3, doesn’t it make the couple want to make the marriage work even more.
this is the sister of the husband, if the husband had actually come then we would get first hand info on the exact problem even if we aren’t getting both sides.
yeah the guy should just go up to her and say "talaaq talaaq talaaq" in one breath, grab the kids and walk out as fast as he can. But heaven forbid if he should discuss any of these marital issues with her beforehand because who in their right mind would want to stick around with a big headed wife who cannot please her man in bed. Jus send her sorry ass back to rich daddy. Who cares about the kids or the strained relationship between sisters. This is the only way out of this.
Seriously, I'm not buying the whole excuse for not bringing this up with the wife or in laws. Because he'll encounter bashing and insensitivity from their part? What makes him so sure he won't be getting any of that when he divorces the wife?
As far as the sex related issue is concerned, OP mentioned that the wife has over a hundred diseases. A disease is not something one has control over and he can't hold that against her unless she is denying any healthcare to cure those diseases.
Her being not attracted to him anymore is not normal. He should talk to her first before getting his mother and sister involved. There could be reasons for it. He could even ask if there's anything from his side that could be done to fix that. Looking good for your wife is sawab and maybe that's all it would take. He wouldn't know unless he discusses this with her FIRST.
He has to tell her that her behavior /misconduct is jeopardizing their marriage.
Divorce is the last resort! People have to try their absolute best to save their marriage, they have to make sure that all options towards reconciliation have been exhausted before they go that path! Especially if you have children involved!
It's sad to see people suggesting divorce here as the first solution.
I have strong doubts that he has - and believe me it is coming out of a man's brain :) Something which exists :D
And you basis this on what?
As for the disease and intimacy? She has an STD Or what that she can not follow her basic responsibilities as a wife. Its amazing how narrow minded the views are here. Everybody says divorce is a last resort, yet for some reason all you females think the bloke doesn't believe that. He thinks it is the first line of action - according to you lot.
I swear bollywood dramas are really ****ing up our youth.
It's sad to see people suggesting divorce here as the first solution.
It's not being suggested as the first solution. It's just being suggested as the best solution when according to the OP eight years have been invested into the marriage and his wife and in laws still don't respect him, his wife would rather while her time away on the phone than spend time with her husband, and in those eight years he's only had sex a handful of times. Of course the guy should talk it out but in this case it looks like all that has been done and dusted already.
As for the disease and intimacy? She has an STD Or what that she can not follow her basic responsibilities as a wife. Its amazing how narrow minded the views are here. Everybody says divorce is a last resort, yet for some reason all you females think the bloke doesn't believe that. He thinks it is the first line of action - according to you lot.
I swear bollywood dramas are really ****ing up our youth.
How does that have anything to do with Bollywood?
If he hasn't even brought up these issues with his wife yet and is already discussing his sex-life and the divorce option with his family then how exactly is it fair to say he has every right to divorce her? or I'm sorry 'divorce her ass'.
Exactly what Riz said. That is the assumptions we are working with. The wife is a *****. Its been 8 years. She is not doing her part of making the marriage work. So he should move on.
The insane part is that if the situation was reversed and the woman was on the receiving end every one of you females would be advocating divorce. Don't believe me, just do a search in life 1. You will see it all in front of your own eyes.
Edit: On what basis are you saying he has not discussed the issue?
How does that have anything to do with Bollywood? If he hasn't even brought up these issues with his wife yet and is already discussing his sex-life and the divorce option with his family then how exactly is it fair to say he has every right to divorce her? or I'm sorry 'divorce her ass'.
He obviously has brought up those issues already. In 8 years of non-existent sex life, it's unlike a guy not to have said anything. And 'diseases' which prevent her from having sex? A likely story! Poor guy is being ripped off here.
Okay I will google that but yeah seriously...what kind of ****ed up disease physically blocks the vagina I'd like to ask? And if it's STDs she has, then HELLO divorce! No need to talk it out with a wife who's been sleeping around.
The wife is not taking her husband and his needs seriously and that problem is much bigger for him because of his inferiority complex.
BUT what I don't understand is that what kind of man discus his sexual life with other people esp female member of his family ?
if he really needs to solve the issue he can give her a warning . Tell her clearly what his issues are and what he wants and then see what she has to say and preferably this should be done without involving a third party and if third party is really necessary then the mediator should be unbiased and a non family member. They have made 3 kids they are grown up adults who should be able to handle their problem themselves.
Those 3 kids may not be important to the guy or to some people here on GS don't realise that but they are very very important and should not be ignored and those husband wife should come in their senses now and take responsibility of their married life and their children.
