Re: This is serious!
Regardless of gender my comment stays. A marriage where the wench spends more time on the phone than with her SO is not worth it. It is a failed marriage there are no options to exhaust.
we don't know the whole story. not saying she is not at fault, she is, going by what has been told to us. i still think she can change if certain steps are taken just like a husband can if he was the one that was at fault. there is that chance that she would change
Re: This is serious!
That is of course based on the assumption he is at fault. Of course that is based on personal assumptions and nothing more. I have had a friend in a marriage where he did marry the wrong girl and no matter what he did, she was just a *****. He is much happier now with a second wife, has two beautiful kids and one or two of my female friends have said they wish they will have a marriage like his.
So definitely believe in the fact that some people are just absolute *******s and there is no changing that.
Re: This is serious!
I think Rene or her mother need to have a talk with the Mother-in-Law who should in turn have a talk with her daughter (the wife) who in turn should have a talk with the husband. I think either she does not realize that there IS a problem, or she has genuine problems with him, or she believes the she has done her duty bearing him the children. In all these cases, one can hope for improvement if both of them realize there is an issue and TALK about it.
Re: This is serious!
i still think it's all those various illnesses that she has that might be affecting the way she's handling everything. has she been getting treatment for any of it? i feel like that's a major issue that's been overlooked along with the arrogance...
in a relationship, both need to adjust and improve themselves for the sake of the relationship and to make the bond stronger.
Re: This is serious!
Ilnesses cause you to talk to your mother on phone all the time?
Re: This is serious!
I think the first step should be talking to the wife, before anything else is considered. You can't start thinking about divorce whilst the other person isnt even aware a problem exists. Ask your brother to discuss all these issues with his wife and see her response. If she fails to be accomodating to his concerns after a thorough discusssion then it makes sense to perhaps consider divorce. But I think first everything that can be done to save the marriage by talking, mediation, etc. should take place first.
Re: This is serious!
Ilnesses cause you to talk to your mother on phone all the time?
there are other things other than the talking all the time on the phone. the op did mention some other details about her behavior, in terms of those things, i think the illnesses or the medication taken for them might be affecting how she acts. for instance being in her own little world, being oblivious to his needs, not being sexually responsive to him. there might be another reason that we don't know about for all that. that's all i meant
Re: This is serious!
my advice........... get the guy to talk to his wife.......and if she doesn't care......then get the families involved....get his own parents to talk to her parents about solving the issues.......
"waiting for it to turn into a thread about how its all the guy's fault''
Re: This is serious!
Even their sexual relation is not something normal. SHe would go near her husband only once in a while, conceive and then the husband is kicked in the ass for the reast of the year. She is said to be suffering from hundred and one diseases so she cant maintain sexual relation with her husband on a normal level. (now please dont blame me for concocting anything nor kindly question my involvment and interest, he is a brother, and he shared these few things in presence of our mother and me).
Am I the only one that caught this?
Since you put it out there, yes I am going to question exactly how you know so much about your brothe'rs sex life? Unless the cousin-sister-bhabi was telling you (even that is still weird), no self respecting man blabs to anyone about his sex life much less his mother and sister!
Re: This is serious!
^^i was going to ask this too but figured her brother is probably very open about such things. who knows how some people are and the bro-sis relationship might be really close.
Re: This is serious!
Being open and close with someone does not mean sharing details about one's sex life. I'm close with my parents, but that doesn't mean i'm going to ask them for advice or complain, and I think the same goes for almost everybody here.
Re: This is serious!
Well Rene said that he shared these few things in presence of her mother and herself. What is so taboo about that. I am sure he was discreet about it but the message was clear and the words that Rene posted are her own and not her brothers.
Re: This is serious!
^ being open and close does NOT mean sharing details about your sex life. Im close to my parents, no way in hell am I ever going to ask them or complain to them about my sex life....and thats the case with ALOT of people!
yes i agree with you, i would feel mega uncomfortable about discussing that with my mom or bro too but who knows how this family is and why this issue was discussed with his sister/family in the first place. only the OP knows.
Re: This is serious!
Well Rene said that he shared these few things in presence of her mother and herself. What is so taboo about that. I am sure he was discreet about it but the message was clear and the words that Rene posted are her own and not her brothers.
does being discreet make it okay for a man (or woman) to talk about their sex life with their family members? im not being sarcastic, am genuinely asking
Re: This is serious!
The wierdest thing being the wife has not a slightest idea how and what her husband is suffering from. She is a daughter of a rich man so all the family will support them no matter what and she is blind enough to realise what status of her marital life is, at present. She is happy in her own little world of parents and siblings. There can be two possible options; first he should talk to her and make her understand but its already sure she wouldnt understand the sensitivity of the situation and the blame would rather rest on her husband and he would have to face even more bashing.
The wife doesn't have an inkling of what the husband is going through? I know sometimes there's just no hope for some people but before you get to that conclusion in married life, you have to give your spouse the benefit of doubt.
I don't see how bringing up issues related to his sex life with his mom or sister before he even discusses it with his wife is going to help him at all.
Re: This is serious!
Divorce her ass. Get a better wife. Some women are just crap and he should not put up with it!
Re: This is serious!
I think so its not something you need to talk about with your family all the time but if you’re having issues with your marriage and the lack of a sex life is a legitimate concern (which I think most people would agree it is), then theres nothing wrong with mentioning it to family. We’re all adults after all and its something everyone does. It doesn’t have to be details but it could be just as simple as stating we don’t have a sex life. If you can’t talk to your family about such major issues where else can you go.
Re: This is serious!
Based on the OP’s post, the guy would have been trying to make his case for a second marriage and sex life is a valid reason for that, so sharing is not a problem here. It’s not like he would’ve been discussing sex positions 
As for the whole problem, I must agree with CM. I don’t know the in and outs of the story but based on what Rene has written, this marriage is not worth it. I understand why the guy is looking into the second marriage route because of family issues but really he should just divorce her ass.
PS. The whole thing about the girl being in depression is a load of bollocks, she seems happy enough in her own world and clearly does not care about what her husband is going through.
Re: This is serious!
I don't understand why all the men are saying 'divorce her ass', she is the mother of his children, atleast give the man a chance to discuss this with his wife. it doesn't look like that has happened in any real way. If it was the other way around and anybody had suggested divorce all hell would break loose
rizla, the OP didn't say there is any depression, atleast i don't remember her saying that, i was giving medication like antidepressants as an example of something that would cause sexual problems, difficulties. i have read that so many times online about depression
the OP said the woman has various diseases(???) no clue which ones and why was marriage considered in the first place if she had so many illnesses.
there are 3 kids as a result of this marriage
Re: This is serious!
His father inlaw who is an uncle also (khaalu) set him up a small business so that he is not workless. .
To me the problem just started there - Once he took the offer , he should have known that this bullet will come and bite him .... Luckily it hasn't in his case - so far !
But I think by taking that offer he lost his creditability in front of his wife ... could be one of the reasons why she doesn't treat him with respect ...
And I dont think the lack of sex is the real issue here !