*You're right. You're absolutely right that people are judging the MIL and poking fun at her. I think one of the reasons is because people believe she again - is saying and doing things to hurt her DIL or another individual. Whoever was the aggressor, it seems even wrong to us because another person had to suffer the consequences of someone's deliberately mean acts. *
I have an issue with people who pass judgement on others because of personal sins they have committed. Now that they have done this, they are no longer paak-saaf Muslims like the rest of our community claims to be. Its not right. Its simply not right. None of us know where Allah swt's mercy goes and whether someone is working hard to correct themselves. I know one girl personally who had such a shady past you would just wonder where her parents really were. Some might think she is going straight to Hell. Some might look at her life now and wonder if they have a different person.
Experience is the best teacher. Everyone learns their lesson at their own time.
So Reha you are saying that comitting adultery is just personal matter and we should not judge them or pointing finger on them because it will not harm anyone else.But in our DESI society if people come to know that girl has committed ZINA, not only they will reject her but also her sisters and other family members. Whole family has to suffer with that girl. Sisters has to face all the consequences of one member's mistake. So one girl's mistake making a life hell for other siblings... (just like in other cases like rape, murder and etc where one's act harm others). So we cannot just ignore the fact that many Muslims boys and girls are involved in this sin.. sad but true.
1- Feeling bad about some bad act is prefectly fine. That is not judging, no slandering, no backbiting or feeling proud of yourself by itself.
If someone gets hit by a car on the road walking carelessly and injured, a person who observes it (besided trying to help the injured) may still feel bad and may say thank God he/she was not hurt this way. Also one may say why that person did that walking carelessly.
Is that judging? Is that feeling proud of yourself? Absolutely not.
2- Those who get involved in the act are both responsible. Period.
No need to defend girls by saying they are stupid and oh well they trusted the guy and the guys are evil and ‘used’ them. No one can ‘use’ them unless they want to.
3- No need to confuse the issue with keeping the secret and hide someone’s act. and bringing out of context hadiths etc. This way these people try to find justification of doing the same thing again and again.
4- Get real, call spade a spade. No excuses needed.
and how the hell did you find out what i wrote or did not?? i see you still have a hard time keeping your frontal lobe functional.......
Because it was there on the screen in black and white. Interesting you have a go at me yet can't even deny it lol.
I saw you had written and edited it after I'd posted in the thread (you prob remembered I'd pulled you up about bringing the MIL v DIL thing into practically every thread like an obsession the other day then decided to edit it).
So Reha you are saying that comitting adultery is just personal matter and we should not judge them or pointing finger on them because it will not harm anyone else.But in our DESI society if people come to know that girl has committed ZINA, not only they will reject her but also her sisters and other family members. Whole family has to suffer with that girl. Sisters has to face all the consequences of one member's mistake. So one girl's mistake making a life hell for other siblings... (just like in other cases like rape, murder and etc where one's act harm others). So we cannot just ignore the fact that many Muslims boys and girls are involved in this sin.. sad but true.
It is a personal matter and people who believe its their business when someone else makes mistakes have to really put their own egos to the side to understand this. Its not their business because Allah swt will not question them on D-Day as to why person X couldnt keep it in their pants.
The reason I am saying it is a personal matter is because if people refrained from pointing their fingers - you wouldnt have ruined reputations and whatnot. If people decided to stop poking their noses in others' sins - they wouldnt have these problems.
No one else is involved here unless people actually make the effort to open their mouth and start talking badly about the offender. So if you come across someone who is in such a situation, its best to at least do your part and not contribute to the pollution by refraining from talking about them.
Zina and sins of a personal nature are ONLY between the one who commits them and Allah swt. I really dislike this business of trying to air others' dirty laundry pretending its a right and totally natural. Its not. You have no business with someone else's sex life, if they drink, do drugs, etc unless you want to help them through it or you are married to them/planning on marrying them.
So Reha you are saying that comitting adultery is just personal matter and we should not judge them or pointing finger on them because it will not harm anyone else.But in our DESI society if people come to know that girl has committed ZINA, not only they will reject her but also her sisters and other family members. Whole family has to suffer with that girl. Sisters has to face all the consequences of one member's mistake. So one girl's mistake making a life hell for other siblings... (just like in other cases like rape, murder and etc where one's act harm others). So we cannot just ignore the fact that many Muslims boys and girls are involved in this sin.. sad but true.
It's not the same because with zina the girl's family might suffer because of societial reasons, not directly due to the act itself + of course zina takes two ppl so why should the boy's family not go thru it as well? It's dangerous and illogical to guage the 'seriousness' of an act just by how society views it.
^ you are having dellusions......... trust me.......
P.S... it was probably some other post in some other thread..........u need to keep ur mind focused on one thread at a time.....or u will keep mixing up stuff.......
It's not the same because with zina the girl's family might suffer because of societial reasons, not directly due to the act itself + of course zina takes two ppl so why should the boy's family not go thru it as well? It's dangerous and illogical to guage the 'seriousness' of an act just by how society views it.
Don't you think... if one person abstain himself/herself from these types of sins.... then would be no badnami... means its a act itself which make their life difficult.
And yes its sad that in our society people think only girl is wrong in committing sins and boys have some kind of exception to all sins.... its really irritate me. I wrote only girls family.. because people points finger only to girls family and that's why girls should be more careful in these things.. they should think about their family (with religion and morals) as well what they have to go through after their act. Larkoon ka kia hai un ki life per koi asar nahin pary ga.... koi un per ungli nahin uthaye ga... that's why girls should be careful more.
You’re not ‘giving me the benefit of the doubt’, you’re just not calling me a liar because you’re scared another poster prob noticed it and will say so lol.
**Still no actual denial, just beating around the bush. Poor Nomi, can’t stop bleating on about MIL v DIL in every thread insulting remarks—edited then gets embarrassed and edits his post when someone points it out. **
If the thought of leaving your mummy one day upsets you that much just marry someone who is happy with that instead of whining about it in every freaking thread.
It is a personal matter and people who believe its their business when someone else makes mistakes have to really put their own egos to the side to understand this. Its not their business because Allah swt will not question them on D-Day as to why person X couldnt keep it in their pants.
The reason I am saying it is a personal matter is because if people refrained from pointing their fingers - you wouldnt have ruined reputations and whatnot. If people decided to stop poking their noses in others' sins - they wouldnt have these problems.
No one else is involved here unless people actually make the effort to open their mouth and start talking badly about the offender. So if you come across someone who is in such a situation, its best to at least do your part and not contribute to the pollution by refraining from talking about them.
Zina and sins of a personal nature are ONLY between the one who commits them and Allah swt. I really dislike this business of trying to air others' dirty laundry pretending its a right and totally natural. Its not. You have no business with someone else's sex life, if they drink, do drugs, etc unless you want to help them through it or you are married to them/planning on marrying them.
You are rite. But you know what we cannot blame people or society to spread these types of news. Means its very personal act as you said having sex with someone.. then how can a society know about that. It must be a girl or guy who tell others about their PERSONAL ACT. So why we only blame society. and its a consequences of their bad act that they have to face. You know very well people love gossips (as we can see it on GS as well). So you cannot expect people to hear something and keep their mouth shuts. Don't we gossips about other thing like kis ka kis sey affair hai, kis ko kis sey problem hai etc. Its human nature to love gossips. If we do something wrong we should be ready for all the consequences.
You are rite. But you know what we cannot blame people or society to spread these types of news. Means its very personal act as you said having sex with someone.. then how can a society know about that. It must be a girl or guy who tell others about their PERSONAL ACT. So why we only blame society. and its a consequences of their bad act that they have to face. You know very well people love gossips (as we can see it on GS as well). So you cannot expect people to hear something and keep their mouth shuts. Don't we gossips about other thing like kis ka kis sey affair hai, kis ko kis sey problem hai etc. Its human nature to love gossips. If we do something wrong we should be ready for all the consequences.
Yes to bold part.
The issue is not about gossiping by the way. This argument is added for convenience.
Its about saying what is wrong. And not finding excuse for it.
Once its edited, its gone forever.
…why should i lie? because of YOU?? 
… please prove that i lied…
