what i don't get is.........are those girls stupid?? can't they think straight??
I am not talking about the cheaters but in a normal, loyal relationship
for girls, Physical relationship is the commitment to live forever
for guys, physical relations is the loyalty to the relation at its current state.
Both of them are sincere but the definition is different so sometimes the results are not very ideal, at least from the girls pov.
On a different note, some girls also get into guys' pants, through his pocket. They want money/gifts and what not and dont mind physical relationship in exchange.
Point is, if you fail to judge the sincerity (lack of it, that is) of your partner, whose fault is it, yours or your partners?
I am not talking about the cheaters but in a normal, loyal relationship
for girls, Physical relationship is the commitment to live forever
for guys, physical relations is the loyalty to the relation at its current state.
Both of them are sincere but the definition is different so sometimes the results are not very ideal, at least from the girls pov.
Come on TLK, no guy is naive enough to have no idea where the girl stands in regards to the relationship. This isn't a mere miscommunication like you implied. Guys know that most girls are emotional and start picking china patterns mentally the minute they feel like they met the right guy. Other than the few girls who are in it for the wrong reasons (money etc), most of them decide to stick to a relationship because they are made to feel that the guy is also serious and committed towards making it long-term.
It's only a sincere relationship if the guy makes it clear from day 1 that he's in it for the short term and doesn't plan on marrying her. However, I doubt many would do that because they know it'll really lower their chances of convincing a girl to go out with them.
Come on TLK, no guy is naive enough to have no idea where the girl stands in regards to the relationship. This isn't a mere miscommunication like you implied. Guys know that most girls are emotional and start picking china patterns mentally the minute they feel like they met the right guy. Other than the few girls who are in it for the wrong reasons (money etc), most of them decide to stick to a relationship because they are made to feel that the guy is also serious and committed towards making it long-term.
It's only a sincere relationship if the guy makes it clear from day 1 that he's in it for the short term and doesn't plan on marrying her. However, I doubt many would do that because they know it'll really lower their chances of convincing a girl to go out with them.
I know a couple guys who were serious about their relationships. They were fully committed and wanted a future with their girlfriends, but were not yet ready to make that final commitment. Because the girls usually start getting the pressure, and maybe they wanted the commitment, they found it better for themselves to leave and be committed to someone else, as opposed to "waiting around". A lot of the times, it is not because the guy wasn't serious, but wasn't ready to finally take that oath. That is a maturity issue, not a sincerity issue.
It is sad when a perfectly good relationship has to end because one party is ready to move further but the other isn't. But then again, that's quite a major difference.
why is it so much always about 'girls' ... 'oh the girl is used' that means she doesn't have any morals or values, etc... what about the guy being used? why doesn't anyone bring that up? Oh larki ki zada badnaami hogi..larkay seh zada? why? Like I just don't understand this concept between us desis, where we think if a guy commits the same exact act as the girl... the girl committing the act is a moral-less girl, oh but it's okay for guys, because of the hormones and it's fine for guys to be players. I don't understand this mentality.
Also, it's not just the parents fault. No parent (desi) would want there 17/18 yr old daughter coming home to them who's lost her virginity or is pregnant; or their son who is a 'player' ... i think people get influenced more from their friends than family.
I wish it was as simple as that but usually it isn’t. Most of the time, people (men and women) are young and naive. Its not all about lusting and blah blah blah. Its easy to believe that for people who obviously have been raised in a way where things are black and white.
There is more to it.
:k:
Bravo! I guess this is what I was trying to say but you said it better.
The notion of love is beautiful to a woman's romantic heart.
So they trust a man that says "I love you and will marry you" because it sounds and feels amazing.
Its a bit more complicated than the above but thats what happens in simple terms.
I am not talking about the cheaters but in a normal, loyal relationship
for girls, Physical relationship is the commitment to live forever
for guys, physical relations is the loyalty to the relation at its current state.
Both of them are sincere but the definition is different so sometimes the results are not very ideal, at least from the girls pov.
On a different note, some girls also get into guys' pants, through his pocket. They want money/gifts and what not and dont mind physical relationship in exchange.
Point is, if you fail to judge the sincerity (lack of it, that is) of your partner, whose fault is it, yours or your partners?
I wish it was as simple as that but usually it isn't. Most of the time, people (men and women) are young and naive. Its not all about lusting and blah blah blah. Its easy to believe that for people who obviously have been raised in a way where things are black and white.
There is more to it.
So what is it about (getting physical before actual marriage)....if not lust and 'blah blah blah'...............??
I think the word 'used' is derogatory, so would you also call a guy that's been intimate before marriage 'used' or is this word exclusive for females only?
I think this thread is beginnning to sound judgemental... I mean sure people make mistakes and do stuff that logically we'd think is stupid.. But that's what "love" + Satan does to you. I don't think anyone has the right to call a guy or a girl used or lacking in intelligence or whatever. What they've done is between them and God and doesn't concern the rest of the world. By stigmatising and criticising such people especially girls, we're pushing them away like outcasts. Surely we're meant to hate the sin.. and not the sinner..
furthermore, i've more often heard jilted (unfortunately) girls say "he used me" rather than others referring to them as such because it casts them in a less responsible light. so that word comes with more connotations than the only one mentioned above
I think the word 'used' is derogatory, so would you also call a guy that's been intimate before marriage 'used' or is this word exclusive for females only?
Mostly people use others for sex or money.
In case of girls, guys mostly use em for sex.
However girls mostly uses guy for money.
If u find a girl who uses guy for sex only, please post some detail about here. Guys here wud appreciate it. :)