Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
Men cheat because women backstabs.
Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
Men who cheat do so b/c they have a serious lack of morals and they’re dirty!
What’s so hard to understand 
Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
you are right Sara, but society could help by developing awarensss of and adressing these problems.
Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
they cheat because something lacks in the relationship!
Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
^ So instead of working on what's wrong with the relationship, the men go looking for comfort elsewhere?
That means...they're dirty and have a severe lack of morals. :@:
they cheat because something lacks in the relationship!
Both cheat for this reason not only men.
Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
SARA516- somtimes urges get so strong they take over your morals and logic.
If you read my posts in this thread from the beginning you will see what men were from the beginning like this.
SARA516- somtimes urges get so strong they take over your morals and logic.
^ that's what a serial killer would say too.
^ So instead of working on what's wrong with the relationship, the men go looking for comfort elsewhere? That means...they're dirty and have a severe lack of morals. :@:
:AID:
Hun YOU HAVE to protect yourself no one else is gonna do it for you, you can't just say I wanna wear all the sluty cloths in the world, and then say "ohh you men out there, don't even think of looking at me or making a move on me". What logic is that?
Why do you think Islam puts such strong attention on the way true Muslim women should dress?????? Its NOT to make your life any harder, but to make is easier!
Now if you had said that women should dress to cover themselves and protect themselves, I would soo agree with you that NO THEN THEY SHOULD NOT BE BLAMED FOR GETTING RAPED/MOLESTED/VIOLATED.
In Islam every idea has commen sense behind it, hence the way women should dress. But people do not even bother to understand the background of each rule of Islam.
I'm sorry but that was just soo stupid! I'm not blaming anyone (men or women) because they're both at fault. Why can't both women and men do their part and keep it moving....Ufff instead of blaming one another.
Why can't we agree to disagree respectfully without using the "stupid" label?
When one provokes you verbally and you hit the person.......you're more at fault. Yes, it was the other person's responsibility to control their tongue......but regardless of what was said does NOT give you the RIGHT to resort to physical violence. Telling the cops or the judge "yeah I beat that person up because he was saying mean things to me" will come across as a weak argument. In the end, regardless of what another person does, YOU are responsible for your own actions (verbal, physical, etc).
Yes,it IS a woman's responsibility to dress modestly. NOBODY here is advocating that women dress like sluts. What Muzna and i are trying to say is that a man......any man.........should NOT use a woman's choice of attire as justification for harassment or assault. Regardless of how a woman is dressed...........you always have the option not to cat-call, not to approach her, not to harass her, not to touch her, not to assault her. One always has the choice of walking away and LEAVING WELL ALONE.
It is a woman's responsibility to respect and protect herself by dressing modestly. Just as it is a man's responsibility for lowering his gaze. HOWEVER.........if a woman is NOT dressed modestly (and what is "modest" varies from person to person)............does not give any guy the right to assault her or to cheat on his wife becaue a hot woman walks by.
In Islam, we are held responsible for our own mistakes regardless of the "temptations" out there. I don't think you can get away with telling Allah that you murdered someone because they provoked you with verbal insults.......or that you stole because someone's purse was sitting in front of you unattended....or that you got drunk because you were at a bar..........or that you raped a woman because she was asking for it based on her clothes.........or that you cheated on your wife because your secretary is sooooooo hot and can't stop flirting with you. While Allah will hold the other party accountable for not fulfilling their responsibilities.........you will be in big trouble if you've committed the BIGGER sin. People have their own common sense and ability for self-control.
No woman wants to be raped regardless of how she's dressed. It's stupidity on her part to not dress decently. BUT at the same time.......we all need to do our own part. We can't use someone's else's lack of common sense or lack of responsibility to justify the committing of HEINOUS crimes. No wife wants to be cheated on regardless of marital problems or how tempting the other women might look. Allah might get get mad at a woman not dressed very modestly.....but the** BIGGER** and more blameworthy gunnah is to use another woman's attractiveness or choice of clothes........as justification to violate her or to cheat on your spouse.
Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
If you feel that you can't let go of your spouse.......then try to work on improving the marriage. It's wrong to have it both ways. It's unfair for someone to waste their time waiting in a relationship while their partner is out frolicking with someone else. It reflects a gross lack of respect and consideration. If one wants to be with "another" person.......then inform your spouse before hand. What makes cheating such a stigma is the deception. When things are done honestly and more decently....there is less shame and guilt to deal with.
^ So instead of working on what's wrong with the relationship, the men go looking for comfort elsewhere? That means...they're dirty and have a severe lack of morals. :@:
I would not if I see that there is no chance and mostly there is NO chance! You angel female can tell me what ya want. It's not always the poor guy. 2 people are involved when a relationship is messed up, not ONLY one.
When will you finally lose your thoughts that women are so innocent.
There are DIRTY women and DIRTY men. Don't need to generalize.
And as if a woman NEVER cheated. :D
what can we say than? That she is a slut? :@:
I would not if I see that there is no chance and mostly there is NO chance! You angel female can tell me what ya want. It's not always the poor guy. 2 people are involved when a relationship is messed up, not ONLY one.
When will you finally lose your thoughts that women are so innocent.
There are DIRTY women and DIRTY men. Don't need to generalize.
And as if a woman NEVER cheated. :D
what can we say than? That she is a slut? :@:
If there's no chance, why not separate/divorce? again, why go running to another person?
noone said women are innocent....feel free to open up a thread about why women cheat specifically.....but we are talking about why MEN cheat. and if a man cheats and his relationship is so crap....it's his fault for not working it out.
Funny, divorce isn't haram or forbidden but cheating is...yet the men replying here think it's better to cheat. Shows their own mentality
what about why women cheat....
Men cheat because they can....thats it,.,.
Dard jb hud se barha zabt k ans0 likhe,
Hm ne sikha he ni ankh se r0na saien,
K0i khaile, k0i t0ore, k0i chahy to rakhe,
Mard k hath me aurat khil0na hai saien.
^hey sara516, I agree with all you said, but as distasteful as it sounds the other truth is, that some men just get bored with one wife or get greedy for additional women.
you can call it sick/dirty/pervertness. But even religion says Allah has made man polygamous by nature.
Pls remember Im not condoning any-kind of halal or non-halal promiscuity on the side of men, I am just making a direct point to the title of the thread.
I am nothing more than being active in this thread for the reason of raiseing awareness of the contributing factors for everyones benefit.
As The first step in addressing a problem, is being aware of the weakness and causes leading towards it.
If women are really serious about taking control of thier men, I have strived to provide a emphatetic service, and speaking from a mans point of view, you really should target and address each of the 5 main factors I listed in my earlier post.
Being a man, the 5 key factors I identfied earlier, really are the ones we men need to be educated and given attention on, if this cheating phenomena is to be reduced.
As cheating not only worries women, but some men too.
On a personal note; If i was married and my wife made it an important issue to give me attention, reguarly address, emphatise, educate me on the above issues to show how much she loves me and is equally important for her to recieve eternally the same response.
I would definetly be more greatly driven to preserve myself.
I dont think 'the lack of control', is just due to mens 'filthy' nature.
'Lack of control/lack of care', is also partly due to the lack of deterents existing to them because of the absence of social pressures and educations on preserving chastity.
i.e. they miss the kind of conditioning women get
Also The islamic punishment fear of zina or adultery also fails to internalise within men, since most due to geographical advantages are not ever going to be liable to the 100 lashes or stoning to death.
So Social presurre and constant education is a must.
^ Your wife has to "educate" you about why cheating is wrong on so many levels? You actually have to be educated about that? Unflatteringly unbelievable!
If one strays from a marriage..........it is NOT because the person failed to receive an "education" about immoral behaviors. Rather..........it is because the person CHOSE **to ignore** "education" and "common sense" and their "conscience" in order to satisfy his/her lusts.
It is unreasonable to expect a person to sit down and "educate" their spouse on why it is wrong to cheat. LOL! That is something the parents should have done during the person's formative years. "Beta......all forms of cheating are wrong. It's better to honest. There are better ways of handling a situation that won't bring shame or guilt. Beta, cheating is gunnah. Allah is watching. What goes around comes around. Be a good bacha, shabash!"
What's next? Should one's spouse also educate them on why it's wrong to steal, commit violence, and pick your nose in public?
When a guy goes around talking FREQUENTLY about "sexual urges" and "polygamous natures".......................he is giving everyone the indirect/subconscious message that he is an individual who is struggling with these issues. And girls.....can be turned off by a guy who projects such an image.............because girls like to believe that their future husband is more "SECURE" and "STABLE" and not struggling with urges to stray from the marriage.
BUT.........when a guy gives the impression that he's struggling/consumed by this issue........................few girls would be interested in marrying him (becoming a princess) especially those who have become aware of the guy's control issues through his frequent harping.
I think this will be the first time that I use my "mood setting" option to reflect my current sentiment.
RV I dont want to argue.
Problems and weaknesses exist in everyone, for various reasons some people are open about themselves, and some are not.
However how another person is so frustrated on the formers choices speaks a lot about thierself.
I NEVER said that people don't have weaknesses and problems. But I also know that talking about a weakness excessively can eventually take a toll on others....turn them off.......and even hinder the positive development of relationships. There is such a concept as** TMI**.
In the process of "educating others".... and ....."venting about frustrations".....one can end up over-doing it.....and as a result gross people out....with a skeevy-type image that they never intended to put forth in the first place.
.
If women are really serious about taking control of thier men
If a woman is serious about taking control of her man then she has some very big issues with her own personality, maturity and level of self-worth.
Neither woman nor man should control the other in a marriage. It is supposed to be a partnership.....and that is precisely how Allah has meant it to be.
On a personal note; If i was married and my wife made it an important issue to give me attention, reguarly address, emphatise, educate me on the above issues to show how much she loves me and is equally important for her to recieve eternally the same response. I would definetly be more greatly driven to preserve myself.
So tell me amir saheb....if your wife was giving you the attention would that eliminate that natural tendency towards polygamy that you keep insisting exists?
If this is an inherent tendency.....how could it be extinguished?
In all your posts you are constantly reiterating that this is the nature of man and that this is how Allah decreed it to be. Provided we assume that position is accurate and valid, if a man cannot himself overcome this nature towards multiple partners then how will a woman's attention eliminate it?
Furthermore.....based on your reference to historical personalities your comment now begs the question that if such pious and disciplined men could not curb their tendencies, how will a mere woman's attention ensure that he does not stray?
I dont think 'the lack of control', is just due to mens 'filthy' nature. 'Lack of control/lack of care', is also partly due to the lack of deterents existing to them because of the absence of social pressures and educations on preserving chastity. i.e. they miss the kind of conditioning women get
What lack of deterrents? Do you live in a society where adultery is not frowned upon? Is a man that breaks the matrimonial pledge not considered to be less than honorable in your community?
Also The islamic punishment fear of zina or adultery also fails to internalise within men, since most due to geographical advantages are not ever going to be liable to the 100 lashes or stoning to death.
So Social presurre and constant education is a must.
So what you are saying is that generally speaking men are not afraid to face the consequences of their actions on the day of judgement before Allah. Correct?