The Truth About Why Men Cheat

**48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated. **
So much for the myth that for men, cheating is all about sex: Only 8 percent of men said that sexual dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity. “Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is sex,” Neuman says. “But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they’re appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they’re trying to get things right.” The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won’t always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. “Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked,” Neuman says. “But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness — and once you set the tone, he’s likely to match it.”

66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.
The implications are a little scary: It isn’t just uncaring jerks who cheat. In fact, 68 percent of cheaters never dreamed they’d be unfaithful, and almost all of them wished they hadn’t done it, Neuman says. Clearly, guilt isn’t enough to stop a man from cheating. “Men are good at compartmentalizing feelings,” Neuman explains. “They can hold on to their emotions and deal with them later.” So even if your husband swears he would never cheat, don’t assume it can’t happen. It’s important for both of you to take steps toward creating the marriage you want.

40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.
“Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts,” Neuman says. “That’s another reason why it’s so critical that he feel valued at home.” Luckily, there’s a clear warning sign that your husband is getting a little too cozy with a colleague: If he praises or mentions the name of a female coworker more than he would a male counterpart, your antennae should go up — and it’s time for the two of you to set boundaries about what is and isn’t okay at work, Neuman says. Is it acceptable for him to work late if it’s only him and her? Can they travel together to conferences? Have dinners out to discuss a project? Ask him what he’d feel comfortable with you doing with a male colleague.

Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.
In other words, a man doesn’t stray because he thinks he’ll get better sex with a better-looking body. “In most cases, he’s cheating to fill an emotional void,” Neuman says. “He feels a connection with the other woman, and sex comes along for the ride.” If you’re worried about infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering new sexual positions. (But know that sex does matter — it’s one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and feels close to you, so be sure to keep it a priority.)

The Truth About Why Men Cheat
^ there are more stats in the link, but I didn’t feel like posting em!

I say wifies be good to your hubbies, and hubbies will be good to you!
comments??

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.
40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.

^sadly, this is very true

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

what about why women cheat....

Men cheat because they can....thats it,.,.

hmmmmmmm

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

any facts abt why women cheat ??

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

Gaia girl u know what...maybe it derives from our genes.

I shall elaborate soooon.

if it goes that men cheat because they can......then so it must also go that women cheat because they also can, no?

is this the same Neuman who is currently president of the "Men Love Mills and Boons Club of North America"?

What does that even mean?

What gives men the "they can" right and why don't women have the becuase "they can" ??

This was an article on webMD, but women cheaters should be another thread.

looking forward to an elaboration.

Rab

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

hmmm.....i was thinking of starting a new thread on it.

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

Both of them cheat, so now get over it already.

hmmm.....i was thinking of starting a new thread on it.

anyway:

Gaia I think theseperverted' and polygamous manly inclinations may be rooted in ier nature.

Relating to this, there is much detail about sex in the koran and hadith.

s.x does not mean only with your wife. It should be noted a man is also allowed to have s.relations with that which 'his right hand posseses', meaning frankly his slave girl.

And in the olden times in which wars dominated, there were a lot of non-muslims slave girls that were freely enjoyable by thier muslim masters that were also tradeble on the open market.

real life example; Great personality H.Ali was awarded slave girl by the prophet (pbuh), who he enjoyed despite having a wife H.Fatima, who was very adverse to hi activity.
Infact she used to feel so upset by it, that in one incident she stopped talking to him and left for her fathers home in anger.

So here even the great and ideal H.Ali, did not seem to want to or was not able to control his desires for the sake of his wife.
So he did not have to be but was polygamous.

We also know an a war-time incidence, when they sahabies came complaining to the Prophet (pbuh), how thye could not tolerate being away from thier wives and requested if they could get them selves castrated.
The Prophet, out of fear that they commit fornication, allowed them one last time to engage in 'Muta' with local girls.
So basically here again we have sahabies who are married, but do not see to be able to excercise control for the sake of thier wives, go out looking for other girls.

Also going going a little back, but still relevant is the case of Old Prophet King Solomans (pbuh) example, who had 700 wives and 300 concubines,
Prophet david, also had 90+ wives.

Yes you read it correct King Soloman, had 1000 partners.

These kind of statistics were not uncommon in the older times.

Before Islam, there was no restrcition on the number of wives, and it was common fo men to have more than 4 wives.

So here we see another example of the Polygamy/Promiscuity urges.
And remember people these men were the best men on Earth, whos acts are meant to be ideals for us rest.
and There are so many more examples like these.

bottom line:

It is clear that these men, did not have to engage in polygamy, yet they still all did.
What does it prove?

maybe more will cme later:

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

so how do we stop men from cheating? I want guys to reply to this.

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

^ that was the point!

Amir-

  • After reading that, are women suppose to "understand" that men do not have self control, therefore, they should be okay with their men expressing their desires with other girls around town??
  • Where does it say in Islam that this is NOT allowed TODAY??
  • And is it a free ticket for our men to cheat, and say *with a sad face "I don't have self control so i'm so sorry, you have to go through this*" ???

Adultery is adultery and nothing more and nothing less, no matter what anyone says!

The principal I live by and something I think Islam is all about is you hurt no one, for your own good. So if "adultery" is allowed in Islam (lets say during war time, TODAY), then that man WILL HURT HIS WIFE by expressing his needs to another woman, therefore I believe he has done something which is haram. Becuase there is no way you can tell me that he broke his wife's heart and still does not have to pay for it.

  • One more question, why do women have to deal with the broken heart in Islam, is it because we are stronger?
  • Why do men have/had these types of rights, can they really not control themselves? Because men are still the same men as they were in A.D's, so that means, they still can't control themselves, Just like the sahabies, and should be allowed to fullfil their needs, EVEN TODAY??? Right????

P.S. This is not some personal attack on you, these are just questions i'm asking!

Don't use Islam as an excuse. So if your gonna swing that way let it be known that the punishment for adultery is death, that's how much of a horrible sin it is. Using the example of polygamy to justify cheating in men is an insult to the Prophet! Do you think he had more than one wife because he had strong desires? Of course not!

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

Also in the future refrain from talking about the Prophet’s life or any of the sahabas or Ali (ra) unless you have specific sources and you know the right CONTEXT of each example.

For example with the Mu’ta example, in the same hadith it was revealed that it was later banned (Just like alcohol was permitted to make it easier for new muslims and then it was later banned - does this mean we are naturally inclined to drink?)-

Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah and Salama bin Al-Akwa: While we were in an army, Allah’s Apostle came to us and said, “You have been allowed to do the Mut’a (marriage), so do it.” Salama bin Al-Akwa’ said: Allah’s Apostle’s said, “If a man and a woman agree (to marry temporarily), their marriage should last for three nights, and if they like to continue, they can do so; and if they want to separate, they can do so.” I do not know whether that was only for us or for all the people in general. Abu Abdullah (Al-Bukhari) said: 'Ali made it clear that the Prophet said, "The Mut’a marriage has been cancelled (made unlawful)."bukhari 062.052

Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat

I agree with Fizza 999%

with the coming of islam many of these practices have been prohibited because WE(men or women) can control ourselves...nothing thats forbidden is beyond our ability..
and in the ancient times we have the best example of self control as well..why not site that?...prophet yusuf(a.s)????..why always look for ways to falsely justify wrong doings when there are as many examples to support good?.....shaitan.....hmmmm