My best friend was married 10 years before me and I saw her every other week if not more when I was single.
Many women living in oppressive cultures would kill for a lifestyle like that which is taken for granted here. I realize you don’t think its a big deal but if a woman wants to live as a divorcee with her 2 kids alone in the US, its more than possible. She will make her own social life, travel, work, etc. She may face some stigma but its nothing that will cause her quality of life any harm.
I was able to ignore it and I was divorced for 4 years…started my social circle from scratch again, got involved in organizations that could help others, started a business, etc. Who stopped me? No one.
More than half of my extended family lives in Pakistan…my aunts, female cousins, etc. The majority of them have good marriages and their husbands do provide for them, protect them, etc.
I’ve lived here long enough to where I know that this more than possible. But you didn’t address the first part of my post…about Pakistani women needing marriage. It’s these kind of blanket arguments that have to be avoided or we’ll lose validity. Women in Pakistan are like the women elsewhere…they have the same needs and khwaishain; they’re not a wholly different species or creature.
Sure, human beings are social animals. But marriage is Sunnah (for women) for a reason…not fardh. People CAN live without it and do all the time. If you want to get married, do it. But if you don’t, you shouldn’t be ostracized for it. Your life should not become difficult due to societal pressure because of it.
Maybe its a personality thing but I don’t subscribe to the *bichari *syndrome. I believe marriage should be there to compliment, not to complete each other. It should be a source of happiness…not lifelong suffering…and women should be able to marry if they wish…not because “ab mera kya hoga?”
I have lived single life and divorced life in the US, it is not bad at all. It’s actually quite fun. If you don’t enjoy your singledom in the US or anywhere in the “West” then you’re not doing it right.
There are laws recently passed in the National Assembly safeguarding women and their interests e.g Women’s Protection Bill 2016. Surely these laws do not go far enough but still a welcome change in a country like Pakistan where a patriarchal approach towards making laws and implementing them existed for a long time.
My main issue was your generalisation of Pakistani men living in Pakistan whom you believe have no interest in protecting their women. You are painting everybody with same brush. There are men in the West, especially those from the Bible belt in the US who abuse and assault their women but nobody says all American men are barbarians hell bent on harming their women. I see women patients from every background and ethnicity suffering from domestic violence, and for your information, many of them are white Caucasians.
Generalizing a whole country and its inhabitants will not help your argument at all, but it might make it less credible as it displays your prejudice against a country, society or group of people.
The cause is us being sexual creatures. However, that’s not an excuse for us to do whatever. We just ought to learn how to form healthy relationships with other human (easier said than done) and how to channel our sexuality in a healthy manner.
So in 2016 the government started taking an interest in how women are treated in Pakistan? Two years ago? What about alimony? Child support? Child abandonment?
Yes, you will a ton of Caucasians in a country where the majority is white…that is simple math right there!
As for generalizing…maybe I shouldn’t generalize because there might be 10% that don’t believe that men are a big fat walking hormone. But the issue is…that 10% is not enough and never will be enough to help. The majority still believe that women should be ruled and not protected. Women should be controlled and not nurtured. Women should be bound in the name of honor. Majority. The culture is so far from Islamic that I don’t see what its even doing there. Why can’t people just drop the Islam part and focus on the social issues?
Apparently its Islam that stops them from passing laws against domestic violence.
Lol where are you pullin this 10% figure from. It’s still racist, you’re making up stats like how republicans make up stats about black crime and muslim terrorism. By claiming that ‘90%’ of Pakistani men are misogynist is essentially generalizing them. I don’t think they’re any more or less sexist than your average middle eastern or indian guy. There’s a fine line between criticising people and demonizing them, you’re guilty of the later.
Women’s rights were better protected and given due importance in Pakistan, till Zia-ul-Haq came in 1979 and brought about the controversial Hudood ordinance severely curtailing womens’ rights and freedoms. We all know the General Sahab was a messiah for the religious creed of Pakistan who’re-established’ rule of religion.
The Womens’ Rights Bill was a massive improvement in country’s record on human and women’s rights. now you can appreciate something or just ignore any progress whatsoever its up to you.
The laws around child custody, alimony and abandonment in Pakistan are again developed by the Islamic Nazriyati Council, a body of renowned Islamic scholars who over the years have recommended the laws in accordance of Qur’an and Shariya, the same laws that you believe are pro-women and feminism-friendly, because you have your own interpretations of these laws which makes me wonder you might have earned a degree from Al-azhar, haven’t you?
I have worked in Desi and Muslim ghettos in Western countries, and did not find the proportion of white victims of domestic abuse and violence anyway fewer than the local predominant non-White population.
Where did you come up with this 10% figure of men in Pakistan respecting women and their rights only? where did you find this study? hyperbole anyone?
And can you please tell me the name of the country whose current president once boasted of grabbing women by their p*****s and still managed to reach the highest office on the land? and in the process defeating a woman with a record of women empowerment and feminist credentials?
Let me begin by saying that reha is a racist towards Pakistani women, men n children. She makes sweeping generalizations on everything related to Pakistan and tends to stereotype Pakistani people. Yes we are not saints but things are not as horrible as she tries to show over here. Basically she has something personal against Pakistan. The picture becomes clear when you bring her divorce into the debate. She was married to a Pakistani man, unfortunately their relation did not work …so both walked out of marriage. And because of this “divorce” she has now developed a negative opinion about Pakistan that every Pakistani man is a horrible creature and they beat their wives from dawn to dusk. Looks like her divorce has turned her head and injected so much hatred into her against Pakistan that now she is often seen bashing anything that looks or sounds like Pakistani… In 2014 she made statements like “let’s disintegrate Pakistan and join India”. One of our Guppies “Gupshupper” confronted her on this and took her to task… So yeah something personal is going on here. A person who has been living in US for 40 odd years… should not talk about “disintegration” of other countries… Looks like shaming Pakistan is her motive of life after her divorce.
Racist..
The suicide rates among US women is increasing. As with sophisticated people, sophisticated societies hurt without breaking the law. More young US women are lured into prostitution and pornography than before. Once they are into that mess, there is no turning back. Also number of homeless US women is increasing. These women have to make all sorts of compromises then. Anti-loitering laws hide these people from the sight so the issue is easily forgotten. Reminds me of the saying, “the scandal isn’t what’s illegal, the scandal is what’s legal”.