its not about the 'posting' women all the time..... and don't tell me that there are no women who refuse to switch due to 'whatever' reasons.....and end up with neglected children, bad marriages or divorces..
so it was a general question ...
Right, well in that regard...each case is different and we're not talking about the few and far in between examples that come up once in a while. Sure you might find a few bad marriages where the woman was career obsessed. But what exactly does that accomplish here?
[quote=““payal sharma””]
^ **would a man ever think being a stay at home dad is as good a job as a CEO./**B]
Dear Jaanwar ( I suddenly have visions of you in a torn shirt with lots of hair all over) , I’m getting worked because of the fact that these issues are still an ISSUE. And you have already decided what your wife should or should not do.
I would be more than willing to stop working should the husband be sufficient to provide the lifestyle that I am used to, coz i’m lazy. However, in spite of hubby dear say being financially well off should I want to work , I would just inform my husband and in law rather then ask for their permission. Thus making it a non issue. Like how a man deciding to work after marriage is a non issue.
Just coz I as a female got so called worked up you immediately branded me as a “feminism fed hormonal teenager”. Well thank god for feminists. Coz we have what should have been rightfully ours anyway because of them.
[/quote]
:k:.
you have hit the nail on the head here. Very few men here will be comfortable being a stay at home dad and let their wives be the one bringing home the becon or be happy that their wives are more successful in their fields. They will never make the personal sacrifices that they expect their wives to make because well “thats how things suppose to be”.
yup = I think many people have a hard time because they are SOOO tunnel visioned about woman’s career.
My aunt wanted a good housemaker for her son (my cousin) as well. She rejected a girl he liked because she was in med school and GOD FORBID they couldn’t have a surgeon (my cousin) and another career inspired woman run a household. Well her butting in and tunnel vision made the whole thing go soar. And the girl ended up marrying someone else. My cousin on the other hand couldn’t find someone else that he clicks with and till this day pines for her.
My aunt is the first one the admit she should have not made the “career” thing into such a big issue. Well ab bhughat rahi hain.
Why is career such a big deal in the rishta process? I don’t get it. Let the couple work it out when they married and decide to have kids. It’s a non issue until then.
Why is career such a big deal in the rishta process? I don't get it.** Let the couple work it out when they married and decide to have kids.** It's a non issue until then.
Because some mothers are overprotective and even paranoid to some extent. They try and forecast every little detail when looking at a rishta, they only want the best for their sons. It might not be right but they are entitled to their opinion, I'm sure if the guy in question wanted this rishta badly he would probably get his mother to agree.
Helllo why do you let your moms find some one for you - c'mon it aint like she gona find a dress as per your color choice and size - jesus it is a different ball game mates !
You really think you are doing the womankind a service by implying that any and all women who are focusing entirely on their families instead of pursuing a full time career are suppressed and oppressed? And whatever rights women have today are due to these bull dykes in business suits who are the so-called champions of women's rights, and at the same time employ an army of maids trafficked from poor Asian countries to take care of their children? What really grinds my gears is the preconceived notions that the likes of you carry about SAHMs, and I don't think there is anything more patronizing to these women than these emotional naive teens and 20something year olds who think of these women as some tied up farm animals. My old lady is a university educated proud mother of 4 (including 2 educated independent married women), taught us all pretty much everything we know today, took care of the house, ran the household budget, made business, saving and investment decisions with my father, handled all family affairs, and my father never made a decision without her input. Just because she didn't have a full time career doesn't make her a clueless oppressed baychari aurat. She took pride in what she did for herself and her family, and we take pride in who and what she is and what she means to us. So you sweetheart can't sit behind your computer screen and tell me how I was raised in a flawed environment and how my mother should have taught me better.
Of my 2 sisters, one is a surgeon and has a busy career, her daughter gets neglected and while I don't approve of that, I respect her for her choices, plus the arrangement is working out well between herself and her husband, that is their preference and none of my business. My other sister gave up a career as a lecturer and is focusing on raising her son, not because her jaahil husband forced her to, but because she wanted to, and the arrangement is working out well between them two. So like I said, it is a matter of personal preference and priorities, and you can't be in anyone's face telling them whether their decisions or beliefs are flawed.
An excellent post one should consider. I agree with Jaanwar here on the basis that it depends on personal preference and he clearly stated his own.
Niksik this is sooooooooooooooooooo soooooooooooooooo common problem. I dont know if there is any solution to it. when it comes to marrying the son, its not him who decides but its his mom and sisters who select the gal :halo: I dont like this fact Boys should be man enough to speak for his future partner. As njgal said, the final decision should be of gal and boy.
Mothers going 'rishta shopping' for their sons with their own set of criteria doesn't happen in all cases. In majority cases, mothers ask for their sons' preferences and search accordingly. And when a mother actually states her preferences and limitations i.e. wanting a homemaker instead of a career woman to a lady's family BEFORE going ahead with the meetings and all, it is considered as being rude and jaahil. But when these ladies want ideal rishtay, a well educated tall handsome bloke who is making good moeney, with absolute freedom to choose your own lifestyle without any interference from the man whatsoever, and a life sans inlaws right at your doorstep, in a silver platter, that is considered your inherent god given right.
they couldn’t have a surgeon (my cousin) and another career inspired woman run a household. Well her butting in and tunnel vision made the whole thing go soar. And the girl ended up marrying someone else. My cousin on the other hand couldn’t find someone else that he clicks with and till this day pines for her. 
