Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
How about the carbon footprint associated with sending 1000 handwritten thank you cards per wedding by snail mail
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
^ good question. That just about settles it
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
SO, SO, SO true!!!
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
Maybe we’re from Mars.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
I don’t think a Thank You card is necessary if you’ve thanked them for coming at the event itself.
A Thank You card would be nice, but isn’t a necessity and not sending it isn’t a gesture of ingratitude.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
That is 3 negatives -
So isn’t necessary wins
Unless ingratitude can be counted as a negative? (But that isn’t necessary)
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
For one thing, I don’t think there is anything wrong with “no boxed gifts” line. Just how many crystal vases would you like?! It’s just the same as people who specify a wedding registry… it’s the couple’s prerogative. So if they want 200+ crystal or cooking-ware, so be it.
Now for the thank you notes… though a nice gesture … it is very time consuming and strenuous. Imagine having 500+ guests - half of whom you don’t even know cuz they are your family’s whatever… you’re going to sit down, write and send out 400+ friggin cards? I personally don’t have the time for that lol. And I am sorry but the wedding favors with thank you notes at reception were enough. For my family and close friends who helped out for all wedding prep, or even little help in organizing whatever… i actually wrote very nice thank you cards for them along with our wedding group photo enlarged and elegantly framed as a Thanks Gift.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
How about get some post cards printed with generic message and mail them.
Make 2 sets of address labels, one for wedding cards and one for thank you notes. If you have gazillion guests, all you have to do is stick the labels and mail the post cards. Get the thank you postcards printed with the wedding cards.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
^ would it then be incumbent on the guests to respond with a Thank You card of their own?
Thank You.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
Why would guests respond with a thank you???
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
I would simply pass along the gifts that didn’t suit my taste or were duplicated to someone in need. My mother had a process of gathering all such items that would not be used by us and donating them to the less fortunate either back home or sometimes even in our own community here through the mosque. The dinner sets and appliances were great for recently immigrated families that had to set up home with next to no cash. The clothing (sometimes we would get suits and sarees) and other items that were transportable were sent to Pakistan and given to a poor family that had a daughter and needed to gather a dowry for her marriage. Even a portion of the cash gifts was given away as sadqa from every event.
Nobody seems to find writing out invitations as “strenuous”. As someone suggested, have the thank you notes printed with the invitations and double up on the labels. Easy!
As for the wedding favours…this is yet another “western” tradition that is not from our culture. So if we’re gonna go western, let’s adopt all the good things, not just the ones we like…
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
Doesn’t that just cost more money and hassle? Just thank them on the day… or sent a text to all afterwards lol
Some people just like having ever bit covered. In my family we just do things the cheap way, we don’t even have invitations, we phone people and invite them. we don’t have tables with centrepieces either or flower decorations, the costs in a weddings are mainly - hall, table and chairs, food, a CD player for entertainment and of course most money is spent on the outfits and gold jewellery
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
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Cost and “hassle” doesn’t seem to prevent people from getting invitations for the wedding which generally includes several pieces of papers for the mehendi, nikah, baraat etc. Not to mentioned invitations for the walima. Somehow 99.9% desis are perfects ok with this cost and hassle.
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Sure…you can send a text. Some people are getting too focused not his handwritten notes thing. If you don’t have time for it, get pre-printed thank you cards. If cost is an issue, you can send e-mail, text etc.
It’s great that your family does thing this way but I’m sure you already know most people do it differently. Again, cost/hassle/time is not an issue when we’re picking out all the decor, invitations, wedding favors, cake, outfits, jewelry, food, photographer/videographer, mehndi/reception entrance, music/songs for the entrances etc. etc. etc. And this is usually done for MULTIPLE events (engagement party, mehndi, nikah, baraat, walima). Yet when it comes to thank you notes, all of a sudden, lack of time/cost/saving paper becomes a major concern.
I don’t mind if someone simply says “Look, I really don’t care about sending thank you notes at all. Its just not a priority for me.” But it irks me when people try to justify it by saying they don’t have the time for it or its too much hassle etc. If you don’t care about this or simply don’t think its necessary, just say that. But don’t come up with BS excuses and make it seem like you would do it but just can’t b/c of XYZ.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
I’m quite proud of how my community back home handles the redundant gifts you get at weddings. No one accepts ANY gifts - boxed, cash or otherwise at weddings anymore. The hosts spend what they can on food, decoration etc without the expectation of it being funded from the guests’ cash gifts. Close family members do give gifts to the couple, but that is done privately at home. It all evens out - you don’t get gifts from everyone, but you don’t need to worry about giving gifts to people you don’t know that well when you attend their wedding.
People only spend what they can afford without relying on gifts to cover the expenses, and there is no bitterness about what XYZ gave/did not give either. Works pretty well..
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
What community are you from? This is great!
We need to spread the word.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
Good, if my future husband finds the cost ok then he should also find it ok when i ask for a huge mahr! 
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
^ just wow.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
To keep the chain of Thank yous going into perpetual motion.
Thank You.
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
Wow…depending on future husband to pay for the wedding AND getting a huge mahr?! Your family really does do things the “cheap way”. And here I am thinking women should get an education and have the ability to support themselves. How foolish of me. 
Re: Thank You - After You’ve had Your Dream Wedding…
Perfect:k: