Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
oho. that looks like something i would have to study in law class.
So if one partner is working,the other is a bum, who gets what as per all of the above ??
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
yea, i make a 6 figure salary, am a cpa, have a vp title at a large bank, and Im a loser? Ive probably accomplished more before 30 than you will in your entire life.
TBH, you have an illusion of g*****osity, I have six figure salary since almost a decade, I don't own a private jet or private island or skyscraper, same is with my colleagues. A lot of people are going to beat you to it.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
and OP...your perfect credit won't be so perfect once you get the divorce :(
oh and i work, have a toddler and come home and cook as well. My husband does work and also helps out around the house. you have to set that balance with your husband.
Khattichic...why did you search for OP.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
I'm all about women's rights and your right to control your income...but this is just not the way to do it.
If there is so much doubt then why marry the guy in the first place? If there is an income disparity, that has to be accepted. You got into this marriage, you're an educated woman, what was this guy's plan when coming here?
It's one thing if you marry someone who made false promises ex. I will do a CPA degree here and requalify and then he comes here and is playing video games on your hard earned wii and not lifting a page to study.
But if the guy has some setbacks then work with him.
One day you might lose your 6 figure job. It can happen to any one of us. Your spouse, if you love him and treat him right and vice versa, is a security way better than a 6 figure job. A 6 figure job won't stay with you when you're sick, or get you your meds when you're in pain , or hold your hand when you're giving birth and a job won't give you a child and a family. That's entirely you.
I can tell you I'm also well qualified in my work, but about 6 months ago, due to poor planning and bad personal decisions I was sitting at home without a job. No lie. My parents were paying for my loans while I worked to get my hands on a job even a non glamorous one and man was that a kick on my behind. Bad things can happen to any of us. I am scared to think what will happen when I'm 60 and asked to leave my job if I'm not making the cut for whatever reason...and then my parents are dead and I'm alone. I'll tell you at that point a husband who is curious about my income is gonna sound real good!!!
You got into the relationship for the right reasons. You must have had some faith in him. Continue that faith, keep some safe guards like a credit card with a low limit and electronic statements so you can view his purchases and catch him if he is doing something stupid.
But please don't give up on him. If he just needs some help with exams etc and he needs to requalify then use your 6 fig salary to the best of both of your advantage. Teach a man to fish and he eats for the rest of his life...
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
oho. that looks like something i would have to study in law class.
So if one partner is working,the other is a bum, who gets what as per all of the above ??
In an "equitable distribution" state, all assets and debts are divided fairly, based on who acquired the property, earned he income, racked up the debt. Basically, you go your way, I go mine, and we'll work out child support and spousal support.
In a "community property" state, EVERYTHING (property, income, savings, investments etc) are jointly owned by both spouses, 50/50.
In order to circumvent or change this, you need to have a tight, iron clad prenuptial and postnuptial agreement signed before getting married, that specifically states what happens to assets and debts in the event of a divorce.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
what is 'fair' ?? whoever gets the better lawyer gets more $?
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
In order to circumvent or change this, you need to have a tight, iron clad prenuptial and postnuptial agreement signed before getting married, that specifically states what happens to assets and debts in the event of a divorce.
I guess OP didn't learn this in CPA school and didn't have time to consider this since she was busy maintaining her VP titled-6-figure job and being fooled by a guy from Pakistan.
Side note: Postnuptial agreements happen AFTER marriage. :) And even in community property states, things aren't automatically divided 50/50. Judges do have plenty of discretion based on individual circumstances.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
But no matter what her savings and income will be disclosed anyways, so why not share the information with your husband. And start a more trusting relationship.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
TBH, you have an illusion of g**osity,* I have six figure salary since almost a decade, I don't own a private jet or private island or skyscraper, same is with my colleagues. A lot of people are going to beat you to it.
This does seem to be a problem here. Woh baat aur hoti if she made millions a year.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
yea, i make a 6 figure salary, am a cpa, have a vp title at a large bank, and Im a loser? Ive probably accomplished more before 30 than you will in your entire life.
Yes. That is why you clearly have an inability to make proper decisions regarding your life such as setting the record straight with your husband. Instead you ask him not to leave despite the fact that you are being taken for a ride by this guy and being threatened with divorce every other day. That's very smart and accomplished. Good going OP. And btw a six figure salary is quite standard these days so no big deal- if I was you I would be more concerned about how my HUSBAND can get to a six figure salary, not be so concerned about your own.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
Yes but do you & your colleagues have the VP title to go along with the 6-figure salary? 
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
Correct on the bolded…I was typing fast lol!
Unfortunately, I had a less than desirable experience with community property and probate laws when settling my Ammi’s Estate. Sadly, her prenup when she married my ex step father was not iron clad, and did not properly stipulate what would happen with assets and debts acquired after their marriage. It was a god awful mess that could have been avoided with a few short words addressing postnuptial issues. :hinna:
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
And if honestly reverse the lie about your statements ASAP. I'd sit down with him. Ask him to stay calm. Explain your fears and frustrations. Explain to him you lied. That you're sorry. This is what you're really earning. You are not wanting to shoulder all the financial burden. You want to do what you can to help him get financially stable so at the end of the day he can contribute to the marriage, not put all the stress on you and be able to support his parents and help his siblings even if need be, etc. And then ask him what he wants from you and how you can help. If his requests seem reasonable then feel free to discuss with him, lay down your boundaries and expectations. That's what I'd do at this point.
I'm not gonna give you the doom talk of you get divorced it will be hard to remarry. It sounds like there is still life left in the marriage , you guys at times are happy with each other, so forgive each other and work with each other to build a strong relationship. For that, put money issues on the side.
And for those bringing in Islam to all this, keep in mind the Prophet had no big bank balance or even a stable job when Khadijah (R) proposed to him. In fact, she was his boss. And made way more money than him. In fact, he worked for her. And I am not sure but I don't recall him having a big inheritance. She shared her wealth with him and he became one of the most successful leaders in the world. And he never forgot her support.
That's a real marriage.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
I want to know how many of us are in 6 figures.... Icono, CPA.... who else?
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
I want to know how many of us are in 6 figures.... Icono, CPA.... who else?
LOL. I am like 5k short of six figure. Does that count? I am in my late 20s.
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
I want to know how many of us are in 6 figures.... Icono, CPA.... who else?
Me. I'm a lawyer. Under 30. But I don't intend on working forever as MashAllah hubby is in a very good financial position. Just for the moment. :)
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
I want to know how many of us are in 6 figures.... Icono, CPA.... who else?
Around there if I count my bonus. More if I include other stuff (stock options, etc.)
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
You got a nikka and still don’t have kids? How come?? 
Do you only consider nikkies as kids and nikkas don’t fall into this category for you?? Strange!
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
I am in 6 figures… but in PKR and not in USD 
Re: tell husband how much savings you have? what your salary is?
And the thread goes into 9 pages.