Re: Surname and Marriage
oh and i think my parents put my dads name as my middle name so even if i wanted to i could drop the khan but still keep my dads name..
Re: Surname and Marriage
Khan = fake pathan in Birmingham lol
Re: Surname and Marriage
I don’t plan on changing my last name. My last name is my father’s name and it represents my family…my roots…where I came from…and I want to keep that with me throughout my life because my parents aren’t going to be alive forever. Maybe that sounds weird, but it makes sense to me.
Also, it’s my basic Islamic right to keep my last name. And it’s not an Islamic tradition for women to take on their husbands’ family name. Plus, whether a woman changes her last name or not…IS ABSOLUTELY NO INDICATION…of how good of a wife she will be.
**Sumorani…**I’ve even read that it’s not permissible for a Muslim woman to take on her husband’s last name because she should not attribute SOMEONE ELSE as her father. I’ve also heard during a khutbah (I think) that on the Day of Judgement, we will be called by our fathers’ name. Therefore it’s best to keep your maiden name. Maybe if you gently explain this issue to your husband using Islamic references…he might calm down. I’ve pasted some links below…I hope they help:
As quoted from the following website: Islam Question and Answer - Ruling on wife taking the husband?s last name if the husband insists on that
**"It is not permissible for a woman to take her husband’s name or his family name because that is attributing oneself to someone other than one’s father, and imitating the kuffaar from whom this custom was adopted. **
**Al-Bukhaari (3508) and Muslim (61) narrated from Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Any man who knowingly attributes himself to someone other than his father is guilty of kufr. Whoever claims to belong to a people when he has nothing to do with them, let him take his place in Hell.” **
**“when he has nothing to do with them” means, when he has no lineage among them, as is highlighted in some reports. **
**Based on that, the husband has no right to force his wife to do that, and if he forces her to do it she should not obey him, because it is obedience to a created being which involves disobedience to the Creator. So she should persist in her refusal and explain to him that it is haraam, and look for Islamically acceptable means of establishing her rights from a legal point of view. **
For more information please see the answer to question no. 6241](http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ln=eng&QR=6241) and **1942](http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ln=eng&QR=1942). **
And Allaah knows best."
Here is another link:
Khan = fake pathan in Birmingham lol
uhm im not pathan and neither am i from birmingham thank u very much..im proud of where im from and who i am thank u very much...
uhm im not pathan and neither am i from birmingham thank u very much..im proud of where im from and who i am thank u very much...
My pleasure ;)
I might just use a double-barelled surname but altho it’s allowed I worry it’ll look odd, a Muslim one along with a Western surname, dunno if I’d like the kids to have a different second name to me tho 
Question: 'As-Salamu`alaykum, I would like to know if double-barrel surnames are allowed in Islam. For example, if there is a girl whose surname is Ally and a boy whose surname is Ahmed, when they get married is it allowed in Islam for the girl to use the surname Ally-Ahmed. Is the boy allowed to use double-barrel surname also. As you can see the two surnames are joined together with a hyphen in between. Jazakhallah.
**Answer: ** **Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.**
I know of no prohibition of using hyphenated surnames so long as it is understood by all that one is not taking a false identity whereby people may think that he is a son or daughter of any other than his or her biological fathers. Allah says: “Call them by (the names of) their fathers: that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if ye know not their father’s (names, call them) your Brothers in Faith…” (Al-Ahzab: 5)
**Allah Almighty knows best.’
Source: IslamonLine.net
**
Re: Surname and Marriage
Hmm i think for some men its really important and for some it isnt. My mom has kept her maiden name. I hyphenated my maiden name with my husband's last name and hubs was pretty cool with it.
Re: Surname and Marriage
Its funny cuz just in the other thread, everyone is talking about the value of 'compromise' when it comes to keeping a healthy relationship.
Two threads on surnames and we all go running to "Islamic Guidance". Why not go there when a guy wants to take care of his mother? Oh, I remember. That was a pre-historic concept.
Sumo, you shouldn't feel pressured to strip a part of you... I didn't change my surname.... it's my identity that my father passed on to me.
BTW, Mr Maroush took my surname... i'd like to see anyone who can beat that! :p
Why did Mr. Maroush strip a part of himself?
Its funny cuz just in the other thread, everyone is talking about the value of 'compromise' when it comes to keeping a healthy relationship.
Two threads on surnames and we all go running to "Islamic Guidance". Why not go there when a guy wants to take care of his mother? Oh, I remember. That was a pre-historic concept.
LOL!
Silsila's thread got me thinking on something-
Since we got married (about a year ago) my husband has been wanting me to change my last name to what his last name is. I ofcourse will not do it.
Firstly, when my mom got married, she kept her name. And us kids took on my dad's last name (which is the family's last name).
So when we got married I said firstly, I don't believe in changing my last name. Secondly, there's no way in hell I'm gonna go thru the hassle of changing my name legally. It would be very weird cuz it would feel like a completely different identity and also because my degrees/awards would have one name on it and now I'd have a different name.
So he agreed that changing it legally would be a hassle and then the stubborn kid in him comes out and says 'well why dont u change it on facebook.'
If there are any guys out there reading this, answer me this, Was he serious?!?!? He then goes on to ask me to just be recognized in our circles with his last name. And again I told him, I'm not changing my name for anyone and the only way someone can address me with ur last name is when they are sending out wedding invites and they dont know any better, then they can write 'Mr. & Mrs. XYZ.'
So basically the issue comes down to this, I will NEVER change my name from what it is now. He on the other hand feels offended that I will not take on his last name. He also says that once we have a family, he wants everyone to have the same last name because he doesnt want our kids asking 'why mommy doesnt have the same last name? and is she really our mommy?' (I think now he's just trying to come up with excuses and dumb arguments to try to get me to change my name). He brings up this discussion every now and then when something prompts him and it aggravates me. He also thinks I'm not taking on his last name because I don't like it and basically feels offended that I won't take it on specially since allll the women in his family take their husband's first name as their last name!
Has anyone been in this situation? if so, what did u say to ur husband to stop him from asking u to change it?!
p.s. if you are about to try to convince me that women should change their name after marriage then please shoot urself instead of posting a comment here. thanks!
I wanted my wife to take my name as her last name and she was sweet enough to accept it. I thought that was super cool of her. I don't care if we have to change a 100 documents, I'd still go for a name change. I think its pretty romantic.
Legally, almost every form these days has a field for previous surname, and the guys handling files are not dumbos, ofcourse they'll know that your degrees have a different surname. Religiously, you are NOT hiding your identity by changing your surname, lots of documents still exist which prove whose daughter you are including the birth certificate.
I love how any rights God bestowed upon women gets turned into a feminism/womens rights issue. The guys that prowl this forum must suffer from serious paranoia and low self esteem. Nice to know that the likes of snowy prefer his wife to obey him before God, men and their ego tripping.
Its funny cuz just in the other thread, everyone is talking about the value of 'compromise' when it comes to keeping a healthy relationship.
Two threads on surnames and we all go running to "Islamic Guidance". Why not go there when a guy wants to take care of his mother? Oh, I remember. That was a pre-historic concept.
Gives me creeps to see the attitude of girls these days.
Like the way you edited your post snowny, removing the 'frivolous womens rights' part.
I love how any rights God bestowed upon women gets turned into a feminism/womens rights issue. The guys that prowl this forum must suffer from serious paranoia and low self esteem. Nice to know that the likes of snowy prefer his wife to obey him before God, men and their ego tripping.
Edited:
Ok, I did some research and yes I think you're right that taking a husband's name is not allowed.
Its funny cuz just in the other thread, everyone is talking about the value of 'compromise' when it comes to keeping a healthy relationship.
Two threads on surnames and we all go running to "Islamic Guidance".** Why not go there when a guy wants to take care of his mother? **Oh, I remember. That was a pre-historic concept.
Nobody has a problem with a guy wanting to take care of his mum.
Taking care of his mother doesn't have to equal his wife moving into inlaws house and living in his childhood bedroom, having little or no privacy. Islam recommends us not living with inlaws unless they're old/sick/lonely. Husband can move his parents in with him when they get old (being honest most parents are **not **elderly or sick when their sons are getting married) or live nearby. For some reason many desi men can't seem to grasp the concept of actually having to move out of and provide a home for their families. Seriously, in nearly every other culture a man wouldn't even be considered a real man if he wasn't willing to move out of mummy and daddy's house..
It's funny I've noticed most of these guys who decide to stay with their parents after marriage in the UK who say they're 'looking after them' it's the new wife who is doing the housework etc. while they barely lift a finger. If the guy is working he usually contributes little or nothing to the mortgage (living rent or mortgage free of course a huge perk of staying with parents) so he can spend his earnings on a flash car. I see this all the time. If they really want to help the parents why is it they tend to hardly ever contribute to the bills or help with housework? Living that way is sponging off them, not looking after them.
Like the way you edited your post snowny, removing the 'frivolous womens rights' part.
Lol :D
Lol :D
Yeah so ?
I was browsing websites and it appears that you are right :)
First of all, I doubt if you are really a mufti.
Where have I claimed to be a mufti?
You seem more like a women-rights-obsessed, high-headed feminist.
The boys on this forum don't even understand the basics of the ideology (trust me I have many hardcore lesbian feminist activists in my family) Feminists want to erradicate men full stop, there are feminist scientists working on ways to procreate omitting the Y chromosome all together. Trust me the rants you read on this forum are lame in feminist terms.
where If you really wanna go with the religious teachings, then the husband has the right to stop a woman from alot of things, which I seriously doubt you'd like.
Well start a thread about those and see if I respond, you must think you are really insightfull to make that asumption, at least my assumption about you was based on a specific comment that projected a specific negative attitude (the comment you have now deleted)
Now about your fatwa, the hadeeth pertains to HIDING your lineage. Since you obviously can't read the english, I will lay it out for you in layman terms.
Why thank you kind sir
Taking a husband's name does NOT mean that she will also changer her birth certificate, NIC, B-Form and she will NOT declare to the public that I am the daughter of my husband. The poster of the hadeeth is obviously trying to twist the hadeeth in suiting them.
So basically you are going to confuse the parameters of the initial conversation, and not focus on the issue.
Accusing people of twisting a hadeeth is a bit low, all RV hase done is research topics regarding name change and post them. Do you know of a specific haddeth that specifically mentions birth certificates and NI numbers? - I don't think so.
Where have I claimed to be a mufti?
The boys on this forum don't even understand the basics of the ideology (trust me I have many hardcore lesbian feminist activists in my family) Feminists want to erradicate men full stop, there are feminist scientists working on ways to procreate omitting the Y chromosome all together. Trust me the rants you read on this forum are lame in feminist terms.
Well start a thread about those and see if I respond, you must think you are really insightfull to make that asumption, at least my assumption about you was based on a specific comment that projected a specific negative attitude (the comment you have now deleted)
Why thank you kind sir
So basically you are going to confuse the parameters of the initial conversation, and not focus on the issue. Accusing people of twisting a hadeeth is a bit low, all RV hase done is research topics regarding name change and post them. Do you know of a specific haddeth that specifically mentions birth certificates and NI numbers? - I don't think so.
Read my above post again. I checked with someone and they informed me that yes, it is true.
I have edited the post so you din't need to start all this.
I don't give a crap about feminists. If you're not a feminist, great !
I could give you a thousand "research" directions and actual market products that aim at replacing women.