Re: stupid old me!
don’t get married at all, husband could be:
Re: stupid old me!
check this thread below…i told you so :chai:
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/498110-an-orphan-man-best-husband.html
Re: stupid old me!
Is it normal to feel jealous or annoyed at your spouses closeness or his banter with his sister/|?
Hes always chatting to her, shes his only and younger sister, but i would prefer he didnt have that with her, and only with me..i know it sounds mad, but its a feeling i have. he doesnt talk to me with the same affection in front of others, but with her, he would laugh and joke around, it gets on my nerves. i understand that most husbands dont go around showing affection to their wives infront of others-such as massaging her, giving her a kiss( forehead?) or just holding her hand, but they can show affection to their siblings?
what annoys me most if i say i want to go get icecream/clothes/go out whatever- he will say `ok in 10 mins/ok in 1 hour/ not now, later/after this match/etc etc
if his sis says same thing- he pretty much gets up there and then.....( ok so he needs to be pushed, but if she pushes him he doesnt respond in the same way as he would if i push him)
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
he needs to only talk to me....wish i could stop him from being so cosey with her and his mother....:*
well nadz marriage is all acting..u have to pretend,pretend and pretend only then u can win love of ur husband and ur in-laws...even if ur SIL is not being friendly with u,pretend to be friendly with her in front of ur hubby..bring her a piece of jewellery or purse once in a month ang give that to her in front of ur husband...when ur hubby is being caring for her sis and mother,pretend as if ur 100 times more caring and concerned for his sis and mom..start doing this today and see how ur life will start to change after 3-4 months...
**Actually what happens is when u r showing that u r over caring for ur in-laws,ur husband gets relaxed,he starts trusting u and over the time he will start depending on u when it comes to his family matters...for instance if itz about buying gifts for SIL or MIL,he will come to u first coz he will know that u r equally concerned and this is the nature of man that he wants to be controlled but yeah he wont ever admit it...
men are very easy to be fooled...just a bit of intelligence is required..**
Re: stupid old me!
well nadz marriage is all acting..u have to pretend,pretend and pretend only then u can win love of ur husband and ur in-laws...even if ur SIL is not being friendly with u,pretend to be friendly with her in front of ur hubby..bring her a piece of jewellery or purse once in a month ang give that to her in front of ur husband...when ur hubby is being caring for her sis and mother,pretend as if ur 100 times more caring and concerned for his sis and mom..start doing this today and see how ur life will start to change after 3-4 months...
**Actually what happens is when u r showing that u r over caring for ur in-laws,ur husband gets relaxed,he starts trusting u and over the time he will start depending on u when it comes to his family matters...for instance if itz about buying gifts for SIL or MIL,he will come to u first coz he will know that u r equally concerned and this is the nature of man that he wants to be controlled but yeah he wont ever admit it...
men are very easy to be fooled...just a bit of intelligence is required..**
Its just plain sad if you have to based your entire life around a pretense/manipulation. Bad advise.
Re: stupid old me!
Its just plain sad if you have to based your entire life around a pretense/manipulation. Bad advise.
itz not manipulation but a way to deal with people...we cant be 100% sincere with all the people v meet in life..and itz quite impossible that v love/like each and every person v meet..so when ur heart does not agree,u have to play with mind..
Re: stupid old me!
Politics is bad 
Husbands should not be fooled. If someone loves and trusts you, how can you plan your actions in order to make the outcomes desired by you, be it husband or anyone else for that matter?
Re: stupid old me!
ashy is it good to destroy ur personality by thinking bad or by being jealous of in-laws all the time? these tactics would get a win-win situation..no one is losing anything…there is nothing bad in it if u take it in a positive way like u be nice to ur in-laws coz Allah wants us to be nice and friendly to people around u..i just mentioned some points coz OP is depressed and frustrated for wats going on around her..i meant more to calm her down..she can do wat i suggested and it will help to improve her relation and no one is gonna suffer..u r not doing any black magic,u r just being nice to them and developing a positive attitude that “yes i can control every situation..”
Re: stupid old me!
Do you want your future DIL doing all this to you or your daughter. Or are you going to be ok if your bhabhi makes sure, your bro doesnt talks to you, is extremely reserved with you, and never gets anything for you?
Oh come on, not this, please. Do you, or I, by any happy chance, can happen to know how our future DILS will be like anyway? Should it be rule that one person should be dominated and waste away their lives in angelic sabar when they are DILS and what if they get even worse torture in the name of evil DILS? There cannot be a criteria as a matter of fact. There are people who were very nice to their MILS but their DILS on their turn were eil, so where do you bring in the poetic justice here?
Every individual who has this blessing of life, should have this right to enjoy the privileges too. Live and let live. Dont expect us human beings to act like angels because we are not, period.
Now OP, you are only 26. and you have so many problems accumulated around and about yourself. Can you atleast count 5 positive things about your married life here for the enlightenment of us poor gs folks?
Life is a blend of all that we call pleasures and pains. Make maximum use of all the positive you have and ignore the negative, it will make your life easy. I dont know why you should have problem with the sisterly brotherly relationship. Its a healthy normal life that a man is a good husband as well as a good brother and a good son and a good father. You will simply make it unnatural and abnormal like if you turn your husband to be a belonging of his wife. I cannot imagine it being fair to take away the sweetness of relations from some one's life. Stop being so possessive and try to make your husband's happiness and pleasures yours too. All the best :)
Re: stupid old me!
ashy is it good to destroy ur personality by thinking bad or by being jealous of in-laws all the time? these tactics would get a win-win situation..no one is losing anything...there is nothing bad in it if u take it in a positive way like u be nice to ur in-laws coz Allah wants us to be nice and friendly to people around u..i just mentioned some points coz OP is depressed and frustrated for wats going on around her..i meant more to calm her down..she can do wat i suggested and it will help to improve her relation and no one is gonna suffer..u r not doing any black magic,u r just being nice to them and developing a positive attitude that "yes i can control every situation.."
May be you are right. Its like doing something which is permissible but not desirable. If this helps nadz, she can try. At least it will be better than her current situation.
Re: stupid old me!
well nadz marriage is all acting..u have to pretend,pretend and pretend only then u can win love of ur husband and ur in-laws...even if ur SIL is not being friendly with u,pretend to be friendly with her in front of ur hubby..bring her a piece of jewellery or purse once in a month ang give that to her in front of ur husband...when ur hubby is being caring for her sis and mother,pretend as if ur 100 times more caring and concerned for his sis and mom..start doing this today and see how ur life will start to change after 3-4 months...
Actually what happens is when u r showing that u r over caring for ur in-laws,ur husband gets relaxed,he starts trusting u and over the time he will start depending on u when it comes to his family matters...for instance if itz about buying gifts for SIL or MIL,he will come to u first coz he will know that u r equally concerned and this is the nature of man that he wants to be controlled but yeah he wont ever admit it...
men are very easy to be fooled...just a bit of intelligence is required..
I think this is good advice...i could learn a thing or two from this myself!!!
Re: stupid old me!
This is hitting a new low, even for you Nadz.
She's his sister, whether she's 25 or 45 she will always be his little sister. You might not like it but she was part of his life way before you came on to the scene and just because he's married to you it doesn't mean that he should compromise his relationship with his sister. He takes you out for ice cream and he takes her out for ice cream, he does things for you and he does things for her. Sounds to me like he's just trying to keep everybody happy.
Seriously, you need to lighten up. There's only so much people can put up with.
Re: stupid old me!
where's that troll spray......?
Re: stupid old me!
his sister should get married, get her own life or move away. I don't understand why these sisters don't get that the brother is married and leave his alone now.
on a positive not, at least he does it only with his sister. my husband and his neice eat from the same plate and sit next to each other everytime we see her face and she is the same age.
Re: stupid old me!
my husband and his neice eat from the same plate and sit next to each other everytime we see her face and she is the same age.
this is just wrong. must be very disconcerting for you.
Re: stupid old me!
his sister should get married, get her own life or move away. I don't understand why these sisters don't get that the brother is married and leave his alone now.
They live in HIS parents house. The sister has every right to be there.
Re: stupid old me!
Get a life. I feel sorry for the family you got married into and also your husband :halo:.
Such ghatiya soch you guys have!
Re: stupid old me!
And much more??? :no:
How dare he thinks like that! 
Re: stupid old me!
Um! I already have a life, thanks. and wth its not about soch, and neither its about your face. Its about how annoying it is when his neice gets more attention when I am around, its not appropriate in my book that they share from a same plate when they are almost the same age.
Re: stupid old me!
this is just wrong. must be very disconcerting for you.
I think I am getting over it now. it was so disconcerting in the begining, I used to just cry. I guess his family has different values than me and its okay in their book to be so free with mammos. she doesn't even call him mammo, she calls me by his name and she is his neice! arrgh makes me mad
Re: stupid old me!
Um! I already have a life, thanks. and wth its not about soch, and neither its about your face. Its about how annoying it is when his neice gets more attention when I am around, its not appropriate in my book that they share from a same plate when they are almost the same age.
they mite be of same age but she's still his niece. unless ofcourse there is something more to this that is making u feel uncomfortable. otherwise i dnt c why this shud be so bothersome. i personally dnt like that level of frankness with any1 but if someone is comfortable with it then let them b.