Re: stupid old me!
u stated a very important thing...shes getting married at the end of the year. count ur blessings dear, u only have a few more months to bear so basically bear it. whats the point in creating rift between ur husband and u when shes gona be leaving anyway.
just focus on doing things to make u happy, take each day as it comes and inshallah ull be back before u know it.
Re: stupid old me!
I think you need a life, do something, occupy your life...leave your poor husband alone! :(
Re: stupid old me!
Nads i admire your honesty...not all of us can be perfect, selfless...if only we all were.... but we have feelings and want attention and want to be the most important thing in our husbands eyes. We aren't all born with the skill to be so open minded, not jealous etc...it's something we have to train ourselves to be like...it takes time but it's a great virtue to have...you will overcome this, just let it go and ask Allah to guide you and all of us.
Re: stupid old me!
nadz i am peshawar.i love love peshawar.i even love its dust........khair do you ave a brother? how would you like him to behave after getting married.always try to stand in others shoes n think from their perspective b4 making any decisions and actions.
Re: stupid old me!
it happens, it is normal
atleast u r not doing/saying anything bad to her, so hvae a jealous feeling is normal
but plz dont behave rudely or badly with your husband.... it is bad, it will leave a confusing image in his mind,he'll end up thinking she's always mad!! dont do this to yourself plz
try to do something, join any course if possible in peshawar, learn sewing or painting
ask ur husband that u need to get yourself busy in order to make you adjust in the new place and new environment
a couple of minutes out of the house can bring a change in your mood!!
Re: stupid old me!
nadz, sweety it's not easy to move into a different country and then have not much to do.. I can imagine it's difficult but try and see if you can find some girls your age in the neighborhood that can come over and you guys can find an activity to do. It will take time for you to settle in for sure. Your husband should be giving you the attention and time you need but he also needs to spend time with his family so give him space for that. He will respect you if you understand him and share his values as well. Do you both go out for dinner or shopping.. maybe you can do that with him. In any case try and get to know girls around your age in your area and you gus can go to each other's house.. :)
Re: stupid old me!
I know some brother-sister pairs where it IS really frustrating for the spouse for way worse reasons. But I think this seems relatively harmless and temporary, so I wouldn't stress about it too much.
Also instead of looking at it as, why is he doing that for her why doesn't he do that for me, try to identify what YOU need from him and talk to him about it, WITHOUT making comparisons with her.
Re: stupid old me!
Sometimes I wish my husband would talk more to his siblings and mom so I could be spared of being the middleman 
. He wants me to do all the work 
. Trust me, it isn’t always fun. You’re lucky. Just because he loves his sis and ma doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. You cannot replace them; they cannot replace you.
Re: stupid old me!
I just want to add one more thing: There is no limitation on love. Loving one more doesn't mean you love the other less. There are different types of love, and the more you cultivate one, the more your heart will be open to others.
Re: stupid old me!
Nadz, how old are you? I am not making fun of you but i am thinking you are really young maybe that's why its getting all the more difficult for you to act as a wife and not as a malikan :).
Re: stupid old me!
shes my age, and hes 1 yr older than me....how can i do this with her....we are just not that compatible..shes not a child.shes 25.
also shes the one that lives here, she has friends....im the new one, i need friends. she doesnt need me and its clear. yes shes nice enough, but not friendly. im more friendly with my BIL but its not the same as being friendly with her....we do stuff like borrown each others makeup, but its only when we ask....i cant just walk into her room and use her eyeliner....not that free with her. shes too old and set in her ways to want to start any sort of deeper relationship with her bhabi, i did try talking to her alot, and i even bought her stuff last time was here, but nothing happened from that...no appreciation no oooh bhabi thanku..nothing, so im not here to make friends with everyone. we get along fine but not friendssss.....plus shes getting married end of tis year.
Find a larka for him and get her married ;)
Re: stupid old me!
oh i read after posting that she is getting married by the end of this yr....then its just some months left....chill out. Try not to think about it too much. I lived in peshawar for four years.....its a nice place....a little conservative though....but u can always teach somewhere and get urself busy :)
Re: stupid old me!
I wonder if all of you talking about how easy it would be to adapt and "just go out and do something!"...do you even know what hte mahol is like in Pakistan? just because when you visit you can go out freely and havfe the time of your life....doesnt' mean every city or even family can allow that kind of freedom
moving to another country is hard, period. We think it's easy but when the time comes, its not that easy.
Re: stupid old me!
why no divorce suggestion till now 
Re: stupid old me!
Nadz i think you literally need to just get on with your own life it....as you said she will be getting married at the end of the year. If im not mistaken ur hubbys fam are related to you? Also, because of their short age gap they are naturally going to be closer to each other. How is her behaviour towards you?
Bottom line you need to keep yourself busy. I think you are slowly losing perspective and getting into they petty things in the typical in laws and DIL struggle. Someone mentioned decorating your room etc? Maybe take up a hobby? Go out with your husband...ask him nicely to take you out once a week. Maybe take the whole family- including the family once in a while. That way you will be involved in the relationship they have going on...?
Re: stupid old me!
You know what I think? I think you love your husband and just want all of his attention to yourself. Its kinda nice.
But you want to make sure he doesnt take you for granted - which it seems like he is. 
If he did the same thing you do to him, your threads would read “omg, hubby wont leave me alone and get a life!” 
Ease off a bit. He has one sister and guys usually are very loving towards their sisters especially if she is the only one and the youngest. Its not abnormal. She is getting married soon anyway.
My suggestion is, just give him some space. Let him miss you sometimes. Busy yourself with things, classes, hobbies, painting, sewing, kids groups, writing, start a blog, become a MUA, etc etc etc. You have 4 years there, do something for yourself in the meantime to feel like you are not just a mother, wife, DIL and bhabi.
You really do need to take responsibility of things you can help in your situation and do something about them actively. Dont just complain.
Re: stupid old me!
Aap hi ka intizaar tha…
Re: stupid old me!
*Sometimes I wish my husband would talk more to his siblings and mom so I could be spared of being the middleman *. He wants me to do all the work . Trust me, it isn't always fun. You're lucky. Just because he loves his sis and ma doesn't mean he doesn't love you. You cannot replace them; they cannot replace you.
my begum has same complain :D
and for nadz, if you have a son and a daughter, will you stop them from playing with each other? from talking to each other much? like "O bus bus, you guys already talked for 20 min - no more talking to each other today. Tinko u go read your book and Tinkee u go clean you room"
Re: stupid old me!
Lesson learnt: We unmarried girls should marry a guy who has no mother, no sis, no bro. It will be ok if he has a father only 
Re: stupid old me!
chalo ab bus bhi karo na