Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

[Ashy2010]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@fat_spartan

Well then maybe you can ask the loose character how she did it.

We are only talking about the HALAL strategies

And I think the guy had an equally loose character who was cheating on her wife (whom he married in a love marriage setting) when she was expecting their child

[Niksik]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@Ashy2010

I don't know the minutest details for the khula of my friend. But hers was a love marriage and his husband started an affair around a year after the marriage with his colleague whom he used to call a 'loose character' girl. My friend made the decision to go for khula after the birth of her baby (her husband admitted having physical relationship with the colleague in her 5th month of pregnancy). It left me wondering if love marriages can end like this, what can we expect from arranged marriages? Of course we cannot compare them as all depends on qismat.

Women can be encouraged to qaboofy their husbands to avoid such situations rather than to qaboofy with the purpose of snatching their husbands from his family. This was the original idea behind this thread which was taken as something wrong by many posters :(.

If a woman has to work that hard that during pregnancy her husband isn't able to keep his loyalties, then she's probably better off not having a husband like that in the first place. It's very disappointing that men go about cheating and later the blames somehow always comes back to the wife for not being capable enough to "qaboofy" him. So then is marriage all about "oh honey better keep me occupied or else I'll cheat?"

Yes a couple must work hard at their marriage at all times, not take each for granted and keep each others needs and respect in mind. But if you're doing it with a purpose that if I don't do this then the dude will cheat on me...that's pretty bad. Loyalty and integrity shouldn't be conditional.

[fat_spartan]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@Ashy2010

We are only talking about the HALAL strategies

Loose character implementing her strategy on someone else’s husband=haram.
Wife implementing loose character’s strategy on her husband=maybe halal.

[Ashy2010]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@fat_spartan

Loose character implementing her strategy on someone else's husband=haram. Wife implementing loose character's strategy on her husband=maybe halal.

Wife implementing ANY strategy on her husband = Halal (as long as it does not mean to take the husband away from his mother/ family)

[NomiCA]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@Ashy2010

(as long as it does not mean to take the husband away from his mother/ family)

its halaal too…do you need me to call the guppan brigade to hammer that into your lhead??

Because husband himself living or making his wife to live near to his family is haraam…not the otherway around

[fat_spartan]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@Ashy2010

Wife implementing ANY strategy on her husband = Halal (as long as it does not mean to take the husband away from his mother/ family)

Well, without getting into detail, there are some strategies that the wife could try that might be haram. Taking him away from mother/family doesn't guarantee that his temptation won't get the best of him when another loose character comes into the picture.

[CEO1]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

I think you're mentally disturbed coming up with this idea. I hope you don't intend on using this method to control your spouse. Failure waiting to happen.

[Ashy2010]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@NomiCA

its halaal too…do you need me to call the guppan brigade to hammer that into your lhead??

Because husband himself living or making his wife to live near to his family is haraam…not the otherway around

Aray I am not talking about joint living set up. I am talking about creating a rift between mom and son, brother and sister etc and making the son going against parents wishes and order (which as muslims we are not allowed to do unless parents are saying something unislamic).

[NomiCA]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@CEO1

I think you’re mentally disturbed coming up with this idea. I hope you don’t intend on using this method to control your spouse. Failure waiting to happen.

man… that comes naturally to women… don’t single the poor girl out!!

[Ashy2010]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@Niksik

If a woman has to work that hard that during pregnancy her husband isn't able to keep his loyalties, then she's probably better off not having a husband like that in the first place. It's very disappointing that men go about cheating and later the blames somehow always comes back to the wife for not being capable enough to "qaboofy" him. So then is marriage all about "oh honey better keep me occupied or else I'll cheat?"

Yes a couple must work hard at their marriage at all times, not take each for granted and keep each others needs and respect in mind. But if you're doing it with a purpose that if I don't do this then the dude will cheat on me...that's pretty bad. Loyalty and integrity shouldn't be conditional.

True. However, this recent incident had me thinking that with so many extra marital opportunities available these days, wives should not be blamed if they 'work' hard to keep their husbands to themselves only (which may directly or indirectly include eventually controlling the husband). As you say, the best relationship of course should be based on trust, loyalty and integrity. But better safe than sorry.

[NomiCA]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@Ashy2010

making the son going against parents wishes and order

But if thats the only way to make him go with the wife's wishes then??

[Ashy2010]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@NomiCA

But if thats the only way to make him go with the wife's wishes then??

Yahin per tau mian bechara phansta hai na. Aik taraf dunia (begum) aur doosri taraf jannat (maa). Open a new thread on this topic :D Guys would better be able to answer this.

[Ashy2010]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@CEO1

I think you're mentally disturbed coming up with this idea. I hope you don't intend on using this method to control your spouse. Failure waiting to happen.

I don't intend on using anything on my husband. Some recent threads and the experiences of few of my friends led me to think about this issue.

Not many women admit this but they do work to qaboofy their husbands (for whatever reasons). Its just that I have openly identified this 'issue'.

[NomiCA]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@Ashy2010

Yahin per tau mian bechara phansta hai na. Aik taraf dunia (begum) aur doosri taraf jannat (maa). Open a new thread on this topic Guys would better be able to answer this.

No… a guy should be able to balance both…he doesn’t have balls if he can’t balance …
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balance=leave the parents

[Ashy2010]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@NomiCA

No… a guy should be able to balance both…he doesn’t have balls if he can’t balance …
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balance=leave the parents

Leaving the parents, ok. But what will the husband do when the wife’s next demand would be to stop the husband from financially supporting old parents? There has to be a limit where the husband should stop being wife’s puppet (and stop being the victim of qaboofying strategies of the wife). The husband should have enough guts to have a say over his wife in issues like this.

This means no one should qaboofy the other spouse and it would be best if they both live according to their rights and duties identified in Islam.

[NomiCA]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@Ashy2010

But what will the husband do when the wife’s next demand would be to stop the husband from financially supporting old parents?

he should stop supporting them…simple

[queer]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

this is an easy two-step process.

step 1: do seva of his maa baap

step 2: do his seva

repeat.

he'll be in your kaaboo forever.

[hareem01]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

kitni ghatya soch hai aap ki.

LOL

[Sara516]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

Besdies, recently I heard my friend's husband getting involved in his colleague and started an affair (with an illegitimate physical relationship) that my friend had to file for the Khula. She could have saved the marriage if she worked to "qaboofy" her husband immediately when she started witnessing the changes in her husbands behaviour. This could have been through giving more time, attention and love to the husband.

Are you kidding me?

It's ghatya soch like yours that fuels the jahil mentality of our people today. Very sad and pathetic.

[Sara516]

Re: Strategies to Qaboofy your husband

@TLK

Long gone are the days when you could control your hubby by denying sex. In this day and age when adultery and extra marital affairs are so common even in a country like Pakistan, denying your hubby a physical relationship is a sure shot way of pushing him into cheating and disloyalty.

Use the flip mode instead and be available for him 24 hours a day. That will qaboofy him. You can only catch a fly with honey.

Okay I’m a little confused, that “strategy” that everyone is talking about, is it to deny him sex or is it to be available and willing and all that?

I bet many women would have a problem being “available” because they think they’ll have loose characters if they enjoy it.