Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

[Dimagh_HotaToNa]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

How can some of you be so insensitive? I absolutely love kids! kids are adorable. Most innocent of all!

How can you not love kids?

[Dimagh_HotaToNa]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

@lazy_daisy

Babies

Eeeeuuuuurrrrggghhhh!!!

I agree with what the first few postee’s said, before the baby lovers came along and ruined this thread.

I think this thread should be banned now, what with all these people making these outlandish claims.

Babies grow you know,

yep

they grow into abnoxious little children to be taught by teachers like Miss Mohobbat who will tell them they are wonderful and tell them they have rights and give them the number to childline.
the abnoxious kiddies will turn into straggly haired teenagers who will not listen to their Parents (thats right, I mean you)

they’ll therefore make silly stupid and costly mistakes that YOU will have to pay for and clear up after them.

Dont do it.

You were a kid once too and your parents had to spank your bare bottom to get you to be who you are today. Learn to appreciate!

[Dimagh_HotaToNa]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

@Sara516

We’re not mean, we just dont’ have that “awwwwwwwwwwww a babyyyyyyyyyy” and the urge to play with every ghair insan’s baccha. Tho ill admit, when I see a baby on teh train and they’re smilin or laughing and touching me, ill let them touch me. I think babies are cute and I do want to have kids one day…

I do “awwww” a lot. Even if I see a baby on TV. It’s not fake either, trust me. I just love kids, because I never had the opportunity to be with any. Babies are the cutest!

I volunteered at a day care center and O MY GOD! They loved me, they cried when I left the place. I loved them too..

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

Why would we be classed as insensitive?

You may love kids but thats your personall preference, I choose not to go goo gaa and thats my personal preference.

I help little old ladies across the road..... does that redeem me in you eyes!;)

anyway does it not depend on the kid, not all are little darlings.

[Dimagh_HotaToNa]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

@lazy_daisy

Why would we be classed as insensitive?

You may love kids but thats your personall preference, I choose not to go goo gaa and thats my personal preference.

I help little old ladies across the road… does that redeem me in you eyes!

anyway does it not depend on the kid, not all are little darlings.

Now you are making more sense.. What you said before was quiet insensitive. It almost seemed like you didn’t appreciate them at all.

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

@Dimagh_HotaToNa

You were a kid once too and your parents had to spank your bare bottom to get you to be who you are today. Learn to appreciate!

Dimagh, you may have a point there

Right Im gonna sue my parents for every penny they’ve got, They have mentally scarred me for life, thats why Im the person I am today.

I can say
"Oh I remember it clearly your honour

The beatings , the psychological warfare my parents used against me, how it hurts… I mean I didnt want to do my homework and they forced me …sob sob".

Good Idea Dimagh, I going to go see a solicitor on Monday:D

[714]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

either way, there it is your own personal feelings on the issue

whatever anyone else thinks doesn’t matter

not every woman is made naturally wanting children-they were mad that way just the way women who want them are-its personality traits

and why should anyone force kids on a person not ready for them?

i say to each his own

personally, i LOVE babies…i want children very badly, but no more than 2 or three at most cuz i don’t think i could handle more

i say to each his own

sarah, darling, you’re perfectly normal and peachy

[jackie]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

i hate how people put pressure on married couples to have kids. i knew this girl and she got married during college and all the aunties were saying how they have been married for 2 years and didnt have kids and how bad that was. i was so mad, she is in college, who would want to go to college and take care of a kid. not to mention paying for college and a kid at the same time. its weird, i dont like babies, but if i ever see i cat on the streets i go up and pet it. sometimes ill sit on the curb and pet it for 15 or 20 minutes.

[ashtray]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

I saw some very disturbing footage of some mothers suffocating their months old babies, caught on camera, on NBC this morning. I had to run and could not really get all of it. Munchhausen syndrome (???) not sure. But it was very disturbing seeing the mother lying on the babies face and the babies legs kicking underneath as it tried to get free and breath, they showed 2/3 mothers doing this. Somehow this thread came to my mind as I was driving afterward. Before anyone takes it the wrong way I am not saying that women here who have said that they dont feel affection towards kids would try and harm their own, or others for that matter.

Any one knows what psychological condition this is and elaborate more?

[Jal_Pari]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

feel exactly same here....even at this age i feel like having children will take away my freedom and i won't be able to enjoy life. But when i think of having children i do think of having a perfect life first. I mean i gotta be perfect for my family, perfect in the kitchen, perfect in my career and i must have travelled everywhere in the world. And after reaching all the heights if i feel i've got have lot of time in my hands then i will think of having kids. There is always so much chaos and always so much to do in the world...i don't see how one can handle having kids. I love kids...and i do go crazy over them...funny thing is i have imagined myself to be a good mother and how i would handle my kids etc..i am sure all girls think that way....but i can't bring myself down to have a kid with me all the time lol...i guess i have a phobia with this kind of responsibilty.

[Impulse]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

I am well and truly shocked. didnt think so many girls thought like this. I thought this was the western thinking.......not wanting to have kids.

you lot have been well and truly influenced by these westerners. if all ur parents felt this way, none of you would be here today.

[Lucid_Chaotic]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

Hmmm… and I thought it was the males who experienced the apprehension and loss of control over having kids. I can understand if the feeling stems from some logical prudence about your economic status and genuine concern for a family’s well being, but not to want kids at all is something that seems rather unusual.

I for one have always been excited about kids… I think about raising my own all the time – ideally I’d wanna have a boy and a girl and I can’t wait to give them everything I’ve got… I think about tucking my daughter in bed at nights and read her a bedtime story… I think about waking up early mornings and taking my boy to hockey practice but yes before all that happens, there’ll be quite a few sleepless nights.

[Shikra]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

^ yes, there will be a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of things that you would have to give up.

I’ve never been fond of babies. I mean they are nice to look at and hold, but to live with them 24/7, it will take me a lot of time and patience in order for me to do that. Babies and kids are so annoying. I had some kids over yesterday and that little dude kept banging on the doors, kept pulling the curtains, kept climbing on the sofas, kept crying. I felt like slapping him :bash: I just want grown up babies, age around 10.

[Sara516]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

....

[jackie]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

when kids come over to my house, they try to play with my birds and they just annoy them and it bothers me. so i tell them to go away. im happy that my cat hates kids so he hides in my room.

[Majestic]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

I know this might sound really bad, however I wouldnt want children running around in my home. The only kids I would like to see in my home is MY children. And I hate going over anyones home and the kids have no manners.

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

lol...............other people have terrible kids!

[amana]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

Sarah, I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling this way. I was somewhat apprehensive about having children, and I don't think it's just a "western" way of thinking - as impulse put it. In a way, I think the fact that you feel this way shows a certain maturity, since you have obviously considered the implications of bringing a person into the world. If you aren't mature enough to worry about the details of having children, you probably aren't mature enough to have them. Some people relate naturally to young children, some don't - that doesn't make you a bad mother. When children are born, you will love them fiercely - it just happens. I would do absolutely anything for my children - but I am still not crazy about other kids who are badly behaved. I am the one at the party telling the kids to sit down and eat, and stop fighting with one another :)

[jackie]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

the only three children i have liked are two of my cousins in texas and a friend of mines brother. he was really cute he goes around singing indian songs not to mention how smart he was for his age.

[Muslim_Queen]

Re: Stigma against lack of maternal feelings

@Umar Talib

I for one have always been excited about kids… I think about raising my own all the time – ideally I’d wanna have a boy and a girl and I can’t wait to give them everything I’ve got… I think about tucking my daughter in bed at nights and read her a bedtime story… I think about waking up early mornings and taking my boy to hockey practice

that sounds so adorable!

I love babies and small kids. Nothing could be nicer than holding a small little child in my arms.Theres just something special about them. And yeah they adore me too.

Sarah— Not all people like kids.It seems a bit odd, but Im assuming it is normal.Ive a friend who has been married quite a while- she still doesnt want kids.Another friend has a child, but she was never too crazy about children - so she says thats it for her.