how the hell can you decide that u will be satisfied with one woman all your life ?
now it might be easy if she is extremely good looking but lets face it not all of us get that .....and even a good looking woman after a fews weeks will seem ordinary lets face it it always happen]
so how do you convince yourself that you will limit yourself to one woman ....
esp when you might meet other women everyday who might be far better looking than your wife
please give serious replies i am having a hard time making a decision
I am married so question is aimed at people like me!
Someone mentioned that you are looking for an Islamic solution. I don't believe an Islamic solution exists, unless you are a filthy rich sheikh who can dump his wives after every few weeks into palaces he will never visit.
Your question is very subjective and no one apart from yourself can answer.
Someone mentioned that you might not have been exposed to an environment where relationships were important and hence this mind-set. However, I don't totally agree with that. This thinking might have been a recent development based on your own thought-process. It is very difficult to answer your question convincingly unless the origin of that thought-process is determined (e.g., religious, cultural, etc).
He asked for a Married Guy’s opinion. Some great points raised here but most seem to be from unmarried teenagers with a very rosy take on life. Realistically this is how you stay with ‘the same woman all your life’.
The initial attraction is simply lust in disguise – granted it’s sprinkled with a lot of other stuff on top (some call it love). This attraction will only last the first couple of years when you will have eyes for no one but her. This phase will surely pass and here is how I’ve managed to stay sincere so far:
• I am so damn busy that after a full day of work, I don’t have the energy to look at myself let alone anyone else.
• If you’ve both managed to pop out a couple of pesky kids in the first couple of years, rest assured that there is no rest. So forget the wandering eye – you’d be grateful for some shut eye.
• I’ve got friends who’ve strayed and their horror stories keep me grounded. The mistress turned psycho ***** is a common theme.
• If it’s just sex you want, you’ll get it from your wife and I know I speak for every married guy here when I say that after a few minutes with you wife to release that tension – you won’t be thinking about that hot blonde secretary but the damn stuff that you’d have to do at work tomorrow. Hate those f* 7 AM meetings.
So that was a reality check for women out there. What you call commitment is a mixture of all of the above – Oh – and most importantly its fear – the fear that if I ever try to stick it somewhere else - the wife will take my pesky lill angels and head for her moms place. I’m not a gambler – can’t take that kind of a risk.
As Gandhi once said – the choice is yours – peace of mind or piece of ass.
how the hell can you decide that u will be satisfied with one woman all your life ?
now it might be easy if she is extremely good looking but lets face it not all of us get that .....and even a good looking woman after a fews weeks will seem ordinary lets face it it always happen]
so how do you convince yourself that you will limit yourself to one woman ....
esp when you might meet other women everyday who might be far better looking than your wife
please give serious replies i am having a hard time making a decision
MEN ARE PERVERTED STUPID LITTLE INSCONSIDERATE INSENSITIVE JERKS.
Okay that felt good.
If your father hadn’t stayed with your mother long enough, you wouldn’t have been brought into this world. Have you?
How can you look at women as sexual objects?
I wonder how women stay with the same man for so long.
Good God! This thread is good enough to give me a heart attack!
aaaaaaah but there is an Islamic Solution to that, Das Reich… am surprised nobody’s has advised you about it, and how you can go about making your wish come true:mehr:
…from what i’ve gathered you want a woman (as your wife obviously:D), but she will have to be the most beautiful woman on earth, otherwise you will always worry that you might come across a better looking woman, and then that would mean you have to leave your wife because she isn’t good enough for you anymore…
Well DR! I have two solutions for you…
1- Though not Islamic, my first one is you put wanted posters all over the world for the most beautiful woman that exists… but then again this isn’t really an option because everyday beautiful girls are born :(, sorry just trying to help here!:halo:
2- Ahem… my second solution is that - go for a hoor!!, you know i’m surprised at the rest of the guppies for not coming up with this! I know they don’t exist on earth:smack:, but you want to live with someone forever don’t you???, not just for a few weeks or so…
I mean this way you’ll be happy(more than happy to be honest:D), & Allah will be happy with you too! - what more would you want?!?
err… to go about acquiring one(or more), i suggest you ask the Molwi at your local mosque, I’m sure he’ll be happy to help you out:)…
He asked for a Married Guy’s opinion. Some great points raised here but most seem to be from unmarried teenagers with a very rosy take on life. Realistically this is how you stay with ‘the same woman all your life’.
The initial attraction is simply lust in disguise – granted it’s sprinkled with a lot of other stuff on top (some call it love). This attraction will only last the first couple of years when you will have eyes for no one but her. This phase will surely pass and here is how I’ve managed to stay sincere so far:
• I am so damn busy that after a full day of work, I don’t have the energy to look at myself let alone anyone else.
• If you’ve both managed to pop out a couple of pesky kids in the first couple of years, rest assured that there is no rest. So forget the wandering eye – you’d be grateful for some shut eye.
• I’ve got friends who’ve strayed and their horror stories keep me grounded. The mistress turned psycho ***** is a common theme.
• If it’s just sex you want, you’ll get it from your wife and I know I speak for every married guy here when I say that after a few minutes with you wife to release that tension – you won’t be thinking about that hot blonde secretary but the damn stuff that you’d have to do at work tomorrow. Hate those f* 7 AM meetings.
So that was a reality check for women out there. What you call commitment is a mixture of all of the above – Oh – and most importantly its fear – the fear that if I ever try to stick it somewhere else - the wife will take my pesky lill angels and head for her moms place. I’m not a gambler – can’t take that kind of a risk.
As Gandhi once said – the choice is yours – peace of mind or piece of ass.
I wish mroe men thought like this..judging by the statistics of how many ppl cheat...it seems like they dont.
I wish mroe men thought like this..judging by the statistics of how many ppl cheat...it seems like they dont.
Sara, Stork's post actually depressed me. Are men really that jaded? Are there no men who are truly in love with their wives forever? Is it primarily work and other distractions that keep them from cheating? Is the motivation for staying together really the fear of loosing their partner instead of the joy that they receive from staying together?
Sara, Stork's post actually depressed me. Are men really that jaded? Are there no men who are truly in love with their wives forever? Is it primarily work and other distractions that keep them from cheating? Is the motivation for staying together really the fear of loosing their partner instead of the joy that they receive from staying together?
It is the bitter truth we all learn to swallow.
And yes it is true. Men are not monogomous creatures.
Sara, Stork's post actually depressed me. Are men really that jaded? Are there no men who are truly in love with their wives forever? Is it primarily work and other distractions that keep them from cheating? Is the motivation for staying together really the fear of loosing their partner instead of the joy that they receive from staying together?
I soooooooo felt the same way as you Collide when I read Storks post a couple of days ago. This is one of the reasons that I no longer believe in the romantic notion of "true love." Sad isn't it? And the idea of sleeping with your wife (not because you have romantic feelings/or an attraction toward her) but so that you can "get over""divert yourself" from the thoughts of the hot blond secretary, or Angelina Jolie, or the younger better looking model.....is depressing. Sure, it's better than a husband commiting adultery and actually sleeping with the hot secretary or the younger better looking woman. I've recently read that men (several years into their marriage) tend to fantasize about other women in their heads while being intimate with their wives. And I found that really depressing as well because it makes the wife seem more like an object or vehicle really. And it's not like most husbands would confess to it if asked. Yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It seems as if all the difference in the world really boils down to whether a married has a strong enough conscience not to go astray....or if he's too weak and gives into his lower desires. And yes, I do realize that women are not perfect either and that even married women have succombed to temptation.
A friend of mine once said that because men are not monogamous by nature, that is why they are allowed 4 wives provided that the wives are treated equally.
I am going to hope that a married man's decision to overcome temptation and continue to stay FAITHFUL **to his wife has **something (even a little bit) to do with love/care for his wife. The fear of losing the kids and the wife taking the car, the house, and other material things might have something to do with it as well. But I'm still going to have hope that he has at least an iota of love/affection for his wife....to not put her through such pain.
He asked for a Married Guy’s opinion. Some great points raised here but most seem to be from unmarried teenagers with a very rosy take on life. Realistically this is how you stay with ‘the same woman all your life’.
The initial attraction is simply lust in disguise – granted it’s sprinkled with a lot of other stuff on top (some call it love). This attraction will only last the first couple of years when you will have eyes for no one but her. This phase will surely pass and here is how I’ve managed to stay sincere so far:
• I am so damn busy that after a full day of work, I don’t have the energy to look at myself let alone anyone else.
• If you’ve both managed to pop out a couple of pesky kids in the first couple of years, rest assured that there is no rest. So forget the wandering eye – you’d be grateful for some shut eye.
• I’ve got friends who’ve strayed and their horror stories keep me grounded. The mistress turned psycho ***** is a common theme.
• If it’s just sex you want, you’ll get it from your wife and I know I speak for every married guy here when I say that after a few minutes with you wife to release that tension – you won’t be thinking about that hot blonde secretary but the damn stuff that you’d have to do at work tomorrow. Hate those f* 7 AM meetings.
So that was a reality check for women out there. What you call commitment is a mixture of all of the above – Oh – and most importantly its fear – the fear that if I ever try to stick it somewhere else - the wife will take my pesky lill angels and head for her moms place. I’m not a gambler – can’t take that kind of a risk.
As Gandhi once said – the choice is yours – peace of mind or piece of ass.
Very honest and truthful! Also there is fear of God!
You know what the problem here is, women who married the wrong men, and vice versa are making it seem like everyone else seems to be in the same boat, which is nothing but blatant and gross generalization. Remember, that one unsuccessful marriage always makes headlines across the town, but those 99 successful ones do not. Calling men polygamous creatures is basically an insult to the wisdom bestowed by the creator or the system which distinguishes men from animals. Marriage in general is a sacred and precious bond with impeccable strength to it in all perspectives, be it religious, cultural or moral school of thoughts.
and even a good looking woman after a fews weeks will seem ordinary
you might meet other women everyday who might be far better looking than your wife
please give serious replies i am having a hard time making a decision
bhai sahab we will give you serious replies when you ask a serious question. In you first post you contradict yourself (red and blue) .. make up your mind whether beauty is important or not and I will come back and give you a very serious reply
He asked for a Married Guy’s opinion. Some great points raised here but most seem to be from unmarried teenagers with a very rosy take on life. Realistically this is how you stay with ‘the same woman all your life’.
The initial attraction is simply lust in disguise – granted it’s sprinkled with a lot of other stuff on top (some call it love). This attraction will only last the first couple of years when you will have eyes for no one but her. This phase will surely pass and here is how I’ve managed to stay sincere so far:
• I am so damn busy that after a full day of work, I don’t have the energy to look at myself let alone anyone else.
• If you’ve both managed to pop out a couple of pesky kids in the first couple of years, rest assured that there is no rest. So forget the wandering eye – you’d be grateful for some shut eye.
• I’ve got friends who’ve strayed and their horror stories keep me grounded. The mistress turned psycho ***** is a common theme.
• If it’s just sex you want, you’ll get it from your wife and I know I speak for every married guy here when I say that after a few minutes with you wife to release that tension – you won’t be thinking about that hot blonde secretary but the damn stuff that you’d have to do at work tomorrow. Hate those f* 7 AM meetings.
So that was a reality check for women out there. What you call commitment is a mixture of all of the above – Oh – and most importantly its fear – the fear that if I ever try to stick it somewhere else - the wife will take my pesky lill angels and head for her moms place. I’m not a gambler – can’t take that kind of a risk.
As Gandhi once said – the choice is yours – peace of mind or piece of ass.
Thanks to you buddy, you make all other real faithful guys look like a real life hero. I dont take your post as mudslinging on guys and their approach/reasons of being faithful, I see your post as fence that is erected between un-manly men and real men.
Stork and not Spock! This has happened before too!