Re: Split debate-Spending thousands on a wedding dress
As I said from the begining it is how I see and like to do things. I may not be able to do big things to make a difference but I like to do whatever I can.
You guys do whatever you want I am not stopping but in this opinion board I was merely sharing my opinion. It feels like that you guys are guilty concious to justify one wrong with another.
BTW Shay call center do not expliot people. They are providing decent jobs to young ppl who otherwise might be job less. Globalization and out sourcing is actually good for contries like India. And then these services do not charge us thousands of dollars for a month services do they?
The point was designers are smart who are makig fool of many ppl.
lol, that's funny. these people who work in call centers barely make one dollar a day and you're saying they are not being exploited? none of these companies go to india to set up call centers because they care about providing jobs but rather for their own benefit. aren't these designers in pakistan providing jobs to their workers too?
and as for your designers underpay their laborers argument, it holds no logic because i am sure you yourself own many tops and jeans that have been purchased in american stores but made in pakistan by those poor people there. to point out saying YOU are doing this wrong or YOU shouldn't even be doing this is quite hypocritical when people are guilty of doing the same.. albeit in a different way.
Funny I was talking to my dad the other day about the cost of my wedding outfit & this is what he had to say" Beta aap dekh lo, laakhon ka bhi jora bun sakta hai aur 45000 ka bhi. Mai to yeh prefer karonga kay aap ko agar laakhon he kharch karnay hain to apnay ilawa do aur bridal outfits bana kay kisi ghareeb larki ko dilwa do." (basically dividing the whole 1- 1.5 lakh amount)
I didn't know what to make out of it. As far as charity is concerned I m not gonna mention what or how my family gives away to the needy coz as someone mentioned about the left hand not knowing what right hand is giving hadith. But it does makes me wonder. I m gonna wear it once. Maybe make some small changes & wear it couple of more times. Its not a piece of jewelery that will be there for ever & ever. What do I do? Helping two needy girls is I guess a good idea but then for what I want for a bridal outfit I have been already quoted 1 lakh. And of course its more like I want what I want.
For ladies who are against spending thousands & thousands well if you had a choice like this what would you do? & pls be honest :)
As Psquared said its our only day. We can be a bit selfish. As long as we don't put any one in trouble & know our priorities I think its completely okay to spend whatever you can. About the whole charity part so dude we do kazillion things everyday why is it that everytime weddings take place some people start talking about what's being spent & where.
I think 1 lakh on a wedding outfit is pretty good, it's not an outrageous price. I also think that this is your decision to make alone. Of course it is great to give to charity. You will be giving charity your entire life inshallah. However, your wedding day will only come once and I don't see anything selffish about you spending a lakh on your dress. Trust me it will make you very very happy specially when you see your photos and videos, years from now. If you think 1 lakh is a lot then you should continue shopping around hopefully you will find another great outfit for lesser. Good luck!
Ok Shay there is no need to get personal here. I told you that this out sourcing or job transfer is good for india and Sumorani said the same thing. Before making a cliam you should know if it is true or not.
The margin of profit for the designers are rediciously high ..I don't know how you compare a 40$ jeans which i will wear many times to a $5K jora worn only once. But I atleast aknowlege the bad..I don't defend it. I never point fingers, I never go and comment in the gazillion threads here featuring designer clothes. I repiled in this thread because the debate was already on and I said this is how I feel about designers outfits. I didn't say that you should feel the same way too.
Ok Shay there is no need to get personal here. I told you that this out sourcing or job transfer is good for india and Sumorani said the same thing. Before making a cliam you should know if it is true or not.
The margin of profit for the designers are rediciously high ..I don't know how you compare a 40$ jeans which i will wear many times to a $5K jora worn only once. But I atleast aknowlege the bad..I don't defend it. I never point fingers, I never go and comment in the gazillion threads here featuring designer clothes. I repiled in this thread because the debate was already on and I said this is how I feel about designers outfits. I didn't say that you should feel the same way too.
You want to look at call centers in India in one way and I choose to look at the other side of it. I am not making any claims, I know people in India who work these jobs and know what it's really about :)
You're right, I don't have to agree with you and I don't.
Funny I was talking to my dad the other day about the cost of my wedding outfit & this is what he had to say" Beta aap dekh lo, laakhon ka bhi jora bun sakta hai aur 45000 ka bhi. Mai to yeh prefer karonga kay aap ko agar laakhon he kharch karnay hain to apnay ilawa do aur bridal outfits bana kay kisi ghareeb larki ko dilwa do." (basically dividing the whole 1- 1.5 lakh amount)
I didn't know what to make out of it. As far as charity is concerned I m not gonna mention what or how my family gives away to the needy coz as someone mentioned about the left hand not knowing what right hand is giving hadith. But it does makes me wonder. I m gonna wear it once. Maybe make some small changes & wear it couple of more times. Its not a piece of jewelery that will be there for ever & ever. What do I do? Helping two needy girls is I guess a good idea but then for what I want for a bridal outfit I have been already quoted 1 lakh. And of course its more like I want what I want.
For ladies who are against spending thousands & thousands well if you had a choice like this what would you do? & pls be honest :)
As Psquared said its our only day. We can be a bit selfish. As long as we don't put any one in trouble & know our priorities I think its completely okay to spend whatever you can. About the whole charity part so dude we do kazillion things everyday why is it that everytime weddings take place some people start talking about what's being spent & where.
Re: Split debate-Spending thousands on a wedding dress
^We get what you're saying, all we are trying to say is, ultimately, we see designers as a good thing to the country and it's economy. Yes they have high margins, but the more popular a designers gets, the more their expenditures increase, like I said marketing being probably the highest, even more than the cost of their outfits. In the end, having more designers, and more demand for their products means more jobs for the people of pakistan. Having low pay is better than no pay right? Better to have a job instead of seeing people beg at the corner of the street? When people buy paki products from overseas, and send money to pakistan to these designers, that also benefits the country since it raises pakistan's GDP. I don't see pakistani designers exploiting the poor or making fools of those that can afford their dresses. They provide products, we consume them. They set the prices of their products, it is upto us as consumers to accept or reject the product at that set price. I just strongly disagree with anyone that thinks that designers are exploiting people even if they are in a 3rd world country.
I think 1 lakh on a wedding outfit is pretty good, it's not an outrageous price. I also think that this is your decision to make alone. Of course it is great to give to charity. You will be giving charity your entire life inshallah. However, your wedding day will only come once and I don't see anything selffish about you spending a lakh on your dress. Trust me it will make you very very happy specially when you see your photos and videos, years from now. If you think 1 lakh is a lot then you should continue shopping around hopefully you will find another great outfit for lesser. Good luck!
So that settles it for me. I m getting it made :) Oh thanks Sumorani. Initially I had planned on 75-80 k but then as I mentioned for what I want its more. I m not willing to bend since this is just a once in a lifetime thing (InshaAllah) & as they say u get what u pay for. Its just my dad really got me thinking on this. I dun think I'll get gunnah or anything if I "Dun" chose to help someone. I already do it anyways. So that makes it for me & yes although replicas can always be made I think the original thing is always wayyyyyyy different. My phoppo in Lahore is taking care of my bridal outfits. We'll be getting my lehnga made from the same desighner my cousins have gotten their bridals made from. My phoppo did mention there is a lady who can make a replica for less but I m not really comfortable with that.
Heyy lady, when's the wedding?
Shay we have decided on May 29 for the shadi so basically last week of May for all the festivities. As stressful & time consuming the whole wedding planning is I m lovin it & can't for the big day.
Re: Split debate-Spending thousands on a wedding dress
Actually bridal dresses for Rs 20,000 or even less are available in Karachi. Whether we would wear them is of course debatable due to the quality. Tariq Road is at least middle class but shopping areas such as Paposh in Nazimabad, Hyderi etc do carry these outfits. There are even cheaper bazars too. Of course, these are not made of pure jamavar but other silk type marterial that costs less.
Actually bridal dresses for Rs 20,000 or even less are available in Karachi. Whether we would wear them is of course debatable due to the quality. Tariq Road is at least middle class but shopping areas such as Paposh in Nazimabad, Hyderi etc do carry these outfits. There are even cheaper bazars too. Of course, these are not made of pure jamavar but other silk type marterial that costs less.
I bought a bridal lehanga set from Rabi Center Tariq Road in 2005. It cost me Rs 8000 and it was a gorgeous lehanga in kataan silk. It was not a designer piece obviously but it was very pretty nonetheless.
Re: Split debate-Spending thousands on a wedding dress
Ive definitely learned one thing while shopping around for wedding outfits...do what you like. Designers make blunders too and sometimes have completely off the wall suggestions. They're human and can make mistakes.
Figure out what you want before going to anyone. Make a decision about what kind of a cut you want so its figure flattering for your body type, color to make sure it compliments your skin tone and the rest gets so much easier after that! Once I made up my mind about these things, it got a lot easier to put it all together.
i didn’t say people sell their gold to give the money to the less fortunate. my meaning is we all know gold is pricey and if you sell it you make a good amount of money. so spending more on a gold set instead of intense shaadi jora spending sounds more reasonable… at least in my opinion " :)"
maybe we live in different areas and all communities are different. i have plenty of materialistic friends who do feel is neccessary to spend alot on an outfit, just to show off. and theres definitely plenty of them who wear an outfit once and its never seen again. so obviously i’m speaking from my experiences not urs.
i spend a reasonable amount on clothes… not to show others, but for myself and because i like it.
And fyi, spending $5k is not too much for me. Alhums I can afford that. so no need to try to downgrade me… (if thats what ur intent is :)) AND alhums my family and I donate very generously to those in need, still having enough left over to purchase what we want. mentioning people that need help isn’t a crime. having a conscience makes me remember the ones that need help and i think thats better than not caring at all.
I have not read all the debate here but I feel the problem is not about charity or affordability but the mindset behind the ridiculously qouted prices. Why do you think these designers are asking that much money....the matrial isn't expensive, labor in pakistan is dirt cheap and their brand is not an international one. The reason they quote high prices is because they know that rich pakistanis will pay watever amount because they think that it is an insult to bargain or refuse to buy something even if you have money. Next time you buy lakhoon ka jorra plz ask once to the designer what he pays to his karigers.
Our money spend on these expensive dresses is contributing in the exploitation of poor in pakistan. The gap between rich and poor is increasing day by day in pakistan...it is sure to bring more hostility and anger towards the system and more young minds will be easily manipulated to do whatever for this rat race of money. I am sorry to be political here but we are educated ppl and can't afford to close our eyes to see the big picture and our contribution in it.
i just want to know where people are getting these 20,000 rupee bridal joras from! my God, i was in pakistan just this december and i'm sorry girls, but even the plainest gharara with not kaam but a kaam wali *beyl *on it will run you 30,000 AT LEAST. and even those beyl's are going for 400-500 rupees per metre. its ludicrous how pricey it is there! karachi is no longer cheap- we bought pure silk jamavar from gulf to make a gharara -- it was 5000 rupees just for the fabric -- this doesnt even include the cost of dying the chiffon dupatta -- plus another 5000 for the stitching. you seriously think someone will do kaam on a bridal jora for 10,000???? i'd like to know who! please, i'd love to shop from them.
so unless you're planning to wear a plain silk jora on your wedding, 20,000 isn't going to cut it.
i'm not saying you can't get a decent jora for 60,000 rupees and up, but you'll still be compromising on the amount of kaam you get. you don't have to pay multiple lakh's for an ideal jora- sure if you go out yourself, you'll probably get the same jora for less- but to assume that its only 20,000 rupees- thats just laughable.
rupay, i'm all for lungi's, girl! in fact, i'm sending you my measurements- you make me one!
oh believe me girl, getting good prices on outfits is difficult but can indeed be done! u just have to have ur connections ;) lol
Re: Split debate-Spending thousands on a wedding dress
i haven't read every post here........ but here are my views
its just not the wedding dress only........ there are so many things.............
today on nks there was an event planner.... and he does the decor for about Rs100,000 per day............... now if u r getting Rs500,000 wedding dress paying around Rs200,000-to 300,000 on ur decor......... plus other so many things......... including show sha........ u just spent Rs10,000,000 at a blink of ur eye!!
how much can one spend??? u need to have a huge support at the bak of u............ so u dont go bankrupt after giving away ur one daughter........... aur waqai main the dialogue come true "beti keh janye keh baad ghar khali hogiya hai"
shaadi is something very beautifull.... very special... why overload urself with so many things...........
Pakistan main aur duniya main jo halat hai...... I would agree with Bint-e-Naeem wali baat keh make a Rs40,000 and give rest to a needy.... as a SADQA-e-JARIYA!!!
spending millions on just dressing and decor is just israf.... which is haram........ if u have so much.... then give it out...... Allah will give more barqat......... itna na spend karo keh jo aap saye kam kamanye walye hain woh taras ki nigha saye dekhain..... ulta gunnah aap hi ko hoga.......
its just not fair keh u are having such a huge shaadi aur two gali door someone is sleeping with an hungry stomach!!! kya faida itni dulat ka keh woh kisi aur keh kaam na aaye!!
khuwaish aur dreams kis ki nahian hoti..... magar dreams and khuwaishs dont have a limit.... and controlling them is greatness of one.......
its just not the wedding dress only........ there are so many things.............
today on nks there was an event planner.... and he does the decor for about Rs100,000 per day............... now if u r getting Rs500,000 wedding dress paying around Rs200,000-to 300,000 on ur decor......... plus other so many things......... including show sha........ u just spent Rs10,000,000 at a blink of ur eye!!
how much can one spend??? u need to have a huge support at the bak of u............ so u dont go bankrupt after giving away ur one daughter........... aur waqai main the dialogue come true "beti keh janye keh baad ghar khali hogiya hai"
shaadi is something very beautifull.... very special... why overload urself with so many things...........
Pakistan main aur duniya main jo halat hai...... I would agree with Bint-e-Naeem wali baat keh make a Rs40,000 and give rest to a needy.... as a SADQA-e-JARIYA!!!
spending millions on just dressing and decor is just israf.... which is haram........ if u have so much.... then give it out...... Allah will give more barqat.........
khuwaish aur dreams kis ki nahian hoti..... magar dreams and khuwaishs dont have a limit.... and controlling them is greatness of one.......
shaadiyon mein sirf karchay hi karchay hotay hain! lol