Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls...
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may everyone get a good spouse
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Ameen
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls...
..may everyone get a good spouse with in due timeeeeeeeeeeeeee .
Ameeen
Without any hard feelings, I have figured out and reached on a conclusion, May be girls will agree with me or not but its a fact .........
- Cute girls get married in early age (20~23) even their parents received proposal in during their studies in college.
- Normal Girls sit and wait for the suitable proposal
- Working Girls normally gets overage (very sorry to say) bcoz they are not a burdon on parents & normally get skipped by the eyes of parents. I have seen many girls in my practical life whose crossed 30's. Now when they cross 30's then they are on a position where they will look for a nice proposal and not a boy having 10 K salary only etc........
For my point of new if a girl's parents get a nice proposal in any age (adult) even she is studying they should get married here else after some time there will be no proposals .....
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls...
So I'm not a cute girl :(????
What if the proposal looks great first, you do istheekhara everything seems fine, you get married and he turns into a *******? Mistreats you, misbehaves with you etc. You get pregnant cannot continue to study etc. are left with no money? Couldn't possibly provide for yourself? Then what is a girl supposed to do?
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls...
I think a lot of girls here are perhaps living in a dreamland....just face it LIFE IS TOUGH...even if you are single or married.
As you grow older (Especially girls) you become more selfish. Naturally MEN want to control everything and when they marry to a girl who is highly educated, earning good money and well establish then these girls actaully want to control their own life and there the clash happens.
My personal experience
When I am mad and saying rubbish my wife stays quiet. When she is mad and saying things to me I stay quiet. After a while...say 1 hours...we are happy again.
One has to give up something for loved ones....and naturally men want to be in power...they want to control everything....just let them...Women if they use their heads properly they can easily rule over their man's decisions.
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls…
men are meant to rule …
that is true. Either ways life is tough.
But its not really giving up nor is it a compromise.Here also you do it for yourself. because doing so makes YOU happy.
Seeing your loved ones happy makes YOU happy.
So it is for yourself too
DF its not about ruling.
Its not an Employee/Employer relationship.
Marriage is team work & if it turns into ruling or being ruled then they are not happy.
once again my 2 cents :aliyish:
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls…
Stil 1 hav to ruleee … n wht abt my 2 cents :aliyish:
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls…
rule yourself.This way biwi bhi khush aur aap bhi 
arey mai 2 cents deytey kangaal hoo gaye :hinna:
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls…
men are meant to rule …tht is somthg in their natureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls…
theek hai baba kaha na you can rule yourself
rule your employees(mind you sub choor ke chaley jaingey job:cb: )
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls…
who caresss…
So I'm not a cute girl :(????
What if the proposal looks great first, you do istheekhara everything seems fine, you get married and he turns into a *******? Mistreats you, misbehaves with you etc. You get pregnant cannot continue to study etc. are left with no money? Couldn't possibly provide for yourself? Then what is a girl supposed to do?
They say "Marriage is a gamble".
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls...
I'm inclined to suggest that women (and men), should not marry until the age of 25. Why so? Because, the brain does not fully mature until around this age. Furthermore, we generally stay with our parents til the age of 18, go to university, etc. These are all transitional phases. We are constantly growing and evolving. One needs "down time," after university in which to hone in their skills, and become a productive member of the work force. Working and reaping the fruit of your labor is most often found to be a considerable self esteem booster-- and in turn, teaches us important life skills.
Likewise (as it's been stated here before), women should ALWAYS be educated and be INDEPENDENT BEFORE they marry. If a woman goes from being dependent on her parents, to being dependent on a man, not only is she unable to fully come into her own, she is handicapped by this dependency.
Don't misonstrue my statements-- I am not saying that being dependent is necessarily bad or unwise, but when a woman has no other option but to be dependent, then she is open to a myriad of abuses. I do not seek to vilify all men, but merely to point out this in common sense. If a woman is capable of supporting herself, she is considerably less likely to be forced to remain in an abusive marriage for mere survival-- and is not forced to subject her children to said abuses because she is unable to provide for them.
Those who think that women should earn less than men or hold less prestigious positions are merely reinforcing the status quo which is founded SOLELY in the cowardice of men fearing that their penile-derived male entitlement is being threatened. Only cowards need to dominate others in order to feel as though they have an amount of worth. It is a harsh statement, but it needs to be repeated until it sinks into their thick skulls. Unless their mentality changes wherein they stop basing their perceptions of masculinity on conquest and control, not only will women continue to be down trodden, but rape and the battering of women will never cease.
Women need a choice in how they will live, who they will live with, and what they do with their lives. They should not be at a disadvantage, or straight out crippled by an inability to survive on their own. Allowing women to remain so infantile is a hindrance not only to their personal growth and quality of life, it perpetuates a culture where women are at the mercy of men with unending power. Don't let culture or any other factor stunt your personal growth.
Yes seriously! She first said "25 is an ideal age" and I'm like "Sure" then she added "For a boy of course, girls should best get married at 18-21 they are mature enough at that age"...mature aka. manipulative? She went on saying "I once met a 30 year old woman, who had studied medicine and she still wasn't married! Can you imagine? Of course she was no Pakistani."
Sheesh that lady was not Pakistani either, she is a German convert, she had married a Pakistani man and their sons are at madrassas. Just plein weird. Whenever she calls me she annoys me with rishta and the importance of marriage within Islam. In her opinion girls are expected to become housewives, slave to stove and bed...I have other things on my mind than that, I'd love to go abroad and study(YES those log will say a woman is not supposed to live on her own without any mahram), just I don't have the expenses for it.
Especially a man seems to be able to hit ANY age and still can get a young girl but a woman no once she is past 25 she is considered old and all her other achievements such as studies are not even worth to be mentioned.
Ok. You have to understand that this is not the norm. There are lots of families out there who appreciate a woman in her older 20's and even into 30's who has achieved a lot with life. There are MEN who appreciate those kinds of women. 90% of what a man will think of you will not be based on age - it'll be based on who you are as a person. If they can mentally connect with you. A lot of men don't want a "haan ji" type of personality, which I am sorry to say a lot of Pakistani girls get raised into behaving like, when I'm sure they could do a lot more.
This lady seems to be an outlier. Esp being a convert - most converts really don't behave like this. She must be really influenced by her husband's opinions or opinions she's heard from somewhere. Regardless THANK your lucky stars that she will not be your MIL.
And being single for some years is not a bad thing. I think the key for us women who get older and are unmarried because of our education is that we keep looking and we keep meeting and talking to different men, rather than pigeon-holing ourselves. And you'll see. You will meet people you will click with. They may not be Aamir Khan's. But you'll be happier having made your own educated choice.
In my family parents wouldn't consider any girl under 23/34 for marriage cos they prefer the girls do be financially stable and have more maturity (I know this can be true of younger girls as well but usually someone in late teens is not going to be as mature and independent as a girl in her twenties).
Agree 100% with Noor Is A Bore.
Gypsy_lonely, the age of marriage tends to have more to do with the financial and/or social status/situation rather than how attractive the girl is. Girls who marry very young tend to be less educated (I used to know quite a few girls from Mosque who married at 16-18, none of them were particularly beautiful but they all tended to come from the same type of family setup, weren't planning on uni or working and rather than wait for a brilliant proposal to come along from someone really special they couldn't/didn't want to be picky and so got married off). Most of the girls I know who are really attractive have married in their mid to late-twenties cos they have waited to be able to stand on their own two feet and to find the perfect partner despite having received proposals from a very young age.
Also, marriage is a gamble but there's an Islamic saying:
'One day Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it and he asked the Bedouin, "Why don't you tie down your camel?" The Bedouin answered, "I put my trust in Allah." The Prophet then said, "Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah" (At-Tirmidhi).'
ie. us Muslims should not just stumble into marriage (or any situation) blindly with the excuse that it is a gamble and what happens will happen, we should use our common sense to ensure compatibility, attraction etc and not just put things down to fate. Things like agreeing to marry someone u've never met would come under this imo.
Honestly, I believe either way you should be prepared. Some women just don't want to get married young or some just rather not marry at all. But i think girls either way should have a decent education, because in this day and age, if for what ever reason they couple decides to split then the girl should be able to stand on her own two feet.
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls...
every woman and her kismet is different. some women feel ready at 21 years and others after 30. i think though it is nice to get married young if poss; and have kids and then you can do whatever you want once they are school-going. its not the end of the world once kids come.
also, i know someone who was waiting since her early 20's to get married, it just wasn't in her luck and then she got married at 31. for her, she felt that was the ideal age and best timing. everything just fell into place for her at the time allah talah chose for her.
Re: Specifically for Unmarried Girls...
i dont like this concept tht if a girl passes the age of 21 or 22 shez considered old ...its much here in pak...wat if sum one is not mentally prepared for tht kind of life..but due to this tradition one has to sacrifice...i just dont understand this psychi of people..