Just a qustion that often passes thru my mind and makes me think abt it very seriously, takes me hrs n hrs to reach to some conclusion but have hardly reached to any… today I thought why not to listen to some different opinions on it:
I know that the best age for a girl to get married is around 20-25. You can say its ideal age for her to get settled in her home and life.
But I know, now days its not the case. So many gals, so many on GS, including me has crossed 25, some are on the verge of 30 and some even has crossed that limit too.
Now question: though you all want to get married, its natural desire, a need, and a dream of every gal from the time she attains maturity,
but have you ever thought or prepare yourself for what if it never happens in your life???
What if you have to live your life all alone ???
What if you ll not get the chance to rejoice all those relations i.e. wife, motherhood, own family, your home, to have someone special, whom you can call you own, in your life which are obviously only attached to marriage ?
Are you ready to live that kind of life?
There is this reality that not all girls get marry, some remain unmarried for their entire lives. I have seen some examples in my own family.
Thats why you make sure you have your education, a job, 401K, retirement, investments, etc for security purposes.
You make sure you're doing something you love and is worthwhile. Evaluate your life and see if you are doing what you wanted to be doing with it. Forget a man...if its not in the cards, its not. There ARE other things out there you can do enrich your life.
At one pint in my life I did think alot about this. I was in college at that time I never ever dreamt of getting married I always thought that single life is much better and lol i was sooo right !
anyways EDUCATION is a must for both married and unmarried girls.
Get education (professional education) find yourself a good job , stick to your career dont just take it as a time pass till you get married always and i mean ALWAYS take your education and career very seriously.
Even if you are not allowed to work after marraige you shd take a stand to finish your education.
Only if you plan or wish to take teaching or school job as a profession it's not necessary that all girls shd either go into medical field or something related to education. Take the career you like.
Try to save half of what you earn if you can I am not kidding I managed to save more than half of my earnings everymonth. We women love to shop but dont spend excessively on clothes , jewellery etc.
Invest in GOLD. I can assure you GOLD gives better return than any other investment. Buy gold bars for yourself , take a safe in a bank (its much more easier if you're not in Pakistan) keep it over there and use it as and when you require. You loose much in gold jewellery but soild gold bars give you 100% of what you hade invested and in 99% cases more than what you invested.
If you live in a economically sound country you can also invest in some financial assets like shares , mutual funds etc. but do that only if u have fair knowledge , shares business can even cost you your whole life savings. My advise to you is keep a balance like 40% of your savings in bank , 40% in gold and rest 20% in shares etc. Always spread your risk.
7.Learn to drive if you have not yet learned. Be indpendent , if u want to go to a dr or as a matter of fact anywhere go by your self dont depend on anyone else.
Try to find a decent place of living for your future. You may book an apartment or whatever fits your pocket. I would never ever advise to take bank loan , its eats one up.
You can also adopt a baby if you desire, i have always loved kids and i always had this in my mind that if i ever dont get married i will adopt a baby. Your life will become colorful :)
Never ever think you are incomplete without a man. There are many things in a life of a woman to do than to wait for a man to come in her life. Enjoy your life , enjoy your freedom and always remember nobody gets everything in life. We women are not made just to be knows as someone's wife or someone's mother ....its great to be a mother but what i am trying to say is we can also be known as a good doctor , engineer, nurse , IT professional and can make our own identity and our names can be recognized without out father's or husband's name being attached to it.
Never ever think yourself as weak always think of yourself as strong and that u can face the world. Life is much more hard for a woman than for a man and the sooner you realise this the better it is for u, gather strength to fight back.
One more thing there is no age to take a step in your life I mean never ever think that I am too old to get this degree now !!! no never think that even if you're 30-35 you can get education in any age u want. Opportunity will knock on your door , just keep faith and do whatever is in your hands and leave everything on Allah!
its better to live a single life than to make compromises, like marrying some1 who is apparently incompatible.
But never lose hope and keep praying to Allah Almighty . Do not wish for a single life but if marriage isnt meant to take place, one sud be financially independent.
It all depends on what you want from life. some people want and amazing career which sometimes means they've got to make sacrifices elsewhere. In my case, if I was never to get married I would be devastated. My aim in life is to have an amazing family, and kids I can care for and raise. And if that means giving up my career I would have no problem doing so. You just need to sit down and think about it from start to finish, and not just about yourself, your family too.What do your parents want, cause they may think if you dont get married they have failed you. But inshallah you will get hitched if thats what you want, you're young stilla nd tbh you can get married at any age! 3 years ago my aunt got married, she was 43 at the time. It's just all down to kismat.
43 years? WOW! Mashallah that's nice to hear that still at that age there was a chance for her. :)
I've been told 18-21 was supposedly the best age to get married, I think that's way too young, speaking for myself, I want to complete school, then enroll to a good uni, get a job, I want to remain independent, maybe I will get married, but what if he mistreats me or our marriage turns sour? How would I manage life then? I were forced to stay with him for the sake of survival and I don't want that.
I guess it depends whether you're scared of being alone or not.
Sometimes we dream of certain things in life. We have different ideas- the way you want your spouse to be like, at what age you want to get married, whether you want to get married etc but part of it is out of ou control. Fate does play a huge part in it.
Personally I want the whole married and 2.4 kids life now. Before I was not too fussed about marriage or who I got married to. Whenever the topic came up, I used to be liek whatever. It was something I was not to bothered about. I thought it was another progession in life. Now it seems quite the opposite.
Whatever is meant to be though, will be inshallah.
If its something u want and its not turning out the way u planned , mayb its time to re-valuate ur self?
In our society its not ethical for women to go out and look for husbands, they have to put on the shy act and wait for rishta's to come home to them which is why so many women are left un married:(
^Or find a guy yourself. I see all a lot desi girls doing this. And personally I think GOOD FOR THEM!! Honeslty the rishta process is not the only way to get married. Not saying you have to date, but I have known friends, who found someone for themselves and got married. Honestly the whole rishta process can sometimes be ineffective because of all these snooty aunties who want a rich white skinny desi doctor girl for their son.
What I'm saying is there are many outlets to get yourself married in a halaal way! Use them. More then 95% of girls eventually get married, and if you want to get married you probably will, it just took more time for you to find your guy!
exactly I dont see anything wrong with it, yeah they probably will get some stick for it in the beginning but at least they will be married. the aunties will soon have something else to talk about
43 years? WOW! Mashallah that's nice to hear that still at that age there was a chance for her. :)
I've been told 18-21 was supposedly the best age to get married, I think that's way too young, speaking for myself, I want to complete school, then enroll to a good uni, get a job, I want to remain independent, maybe I will get married, but what if he mistreats me or our marriage turns sour? How would I manage life then? I were forced to stay with him for the sake of survival and I don't want that.
I guess it depends whether you're scared of being alone or not.
well just make sure he isnt a total idiot before you tie the knot
Yes I have thought about it. If I end up living alone, so be it. That's life. I dont think there is a reason to be sad about it. People can do so much in this life, even if they arent married.
One can plan all they want.. if it's not meant to happen it won't happen. Invest in good education and a stable job.. and find happiness in the small things that life has to offer.
A marriage can go wrong too.. many girls much rathar be single then to be married and miserable (if the spouse has issues)
Marriage should not be a need...you dont need to get married so a man can support you. I cant marry a man like that.
It should be a want...you should want to marry this man because he makes you happy, you love him and envision your life with him.
yeah, so we'd like to think. But unfortunalty reality bites. We live in a world where for some reason becoming a spinister has historically been equivalent to reputations of ugliness, frumpiness, and depression, and so no wonder all of us dread not being married!! and in many ways, even Jennifer Ansiton was not able to escape it- heck I read somewhere (i think elle magazine) that she even admitted to being the poster child of lonely spinsiter getting on with her life. So no wonder that want to escape such a pitied fate combined with the strong natural want to make a family becomes so strong that it *becomes a need. *
But good news is most of us marry!! I mean I think I read somewhere that 98% of women do eventually marry.
FT honey.. i have to agree with most of the guppies above......just because marriage is an old age tradition, institution, and in the law of the world, the natural thing to do.. if it doesnt happen by Allahs will- its nnnooo big deal.....learn to live life , enjoy life make a life.. men simply add to that life if your destined and lucky to have one..................there are hundreds of very successful women who have managed with out a man.....its no problem its no calamity.. in some cases it becomes a fact of ones life.... ur not in control of ur destiny no one is.. so read on.... discuss, share, but dont limit and get ur mindset that ur life isnt worth anything if youre not with a man.............;)