Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
How did you ever agree to marrying someone from That kind of family?
Exactly my question, cause in normal families, a discussion about whose going to wash the undies does happen before saying yes to the marriage.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
^'Unmentionables' really isn't used anymore.. seems more like values from Victorian England or something.. This sort of thinking is no longer common in the west..
Perhaps you are right.....some things are considered "old fashioned" and perhaps I am one of those that would still cling to those values for dear life......
I have come across another couple that broke up (not over this particular issue but it was brought up). The husband complained that after his now ex-wife had showered, her undergarments were found in the common hamper in the family bathroom which was shared between them and the FIL. I have to say I found this to be very uncultured and unrefined.....
And no, I didn't realise I would be taking old ppl to the toilet and wiping their backsides for them if they needed help, undressing them completely, bathing them etc. My dad wanted us to be brought up thinking no job was ever 'beneath' us..
I'm surprised that you didn't realize this. Maybe you didn't do enough research before you took the position? In any event, your father's values are excellent and it's great to know that he has instilled the same in his children, masha-Allah. I hope to do the same with my daughter.
In the role at the nursing home you served a critical purpose in the lives of those that needed you to do that which they could not do for themselves any more. I'm sure that Allah will reward you for that.
Fair enough if ppl don't want to do it, I'm just trying to point out that Nadz' thinking is not considered strange or anything to be ashamed of in the west.. I have NEVER come across anyone here who thinks this way..
Even if her thinking is not considered strange or anything to be ashamed of, the fact that she knew her MIL's mentality/values/approach prior and still allowed the situation to recur is foolish. And then to present her as the evil witch/drama queen is even more absurd.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
Please wash your own underwear!!! It's not that hard!!
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
Please wash your own underwear!!! It's not that hard!! P.s from that kinda family I meant the actual discussion of why did you give dirty knickers to the maid in front of hubby is too much. A quiet private word from mum in law would be a more sensible approach.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
once, i think my sister was around 12, left her underwear in the laundry basket when we visited, and the same kaamwali, complained to mil then, mil then went huffing to my mother and said dont u teach ur kids values........
So if you knew that the same "kaamwali" complained about washing your 12 year old's sister's underwear........what exactly made you think that she would not complain about doing yours?
I agree that your MIL overreacted to the situation. However, as others have mentioned before.....You already know that your MIL is a drama queen. And you already knew that the "kaamwali" doesn't like to wash other people's underwear. So knowing those 2 facts already....I honestly have no idea why you didn't realize that sooner or later....this was going to be an issue.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
You should be greatful to your mother in law for making your life ever so entertaining
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
My whole sympathies are with your husband how has been reacting still normal after all that drama that your mil performs so often to target you...and hurts you..you both cant lead a normal life with all these frequent quarrels...and ofcourse your mil cant leave her activities..so in the end the MAN has lost all his peace after getting married ..i dont know why such kinda moms marry their sons if they cant give them enough space to live happily with their wives
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
My whole sympathies are with your husband how has been reacting still normal after all that drama that your mil performs so often to target you...and hurts you......
..i dont know why such kinda moms marry their sons if they cant give them enough space to live happily with their wives
kahan say kahan baat chalee jaati hai......
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
..i dont know why such kinda moms marry their sons if they cant give them enough space to live happily with their wives
so ..errm, moms should never marry their sons to girls who need their underwear washed?
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
kahan say kahan baat chalee jaati hai......
I have been reading nadzz threads it seems that her mil has some very serious problem with her in that both women think about themselves who got hurt much but but I feel so sorry about the man.who has been the playing thing between two ladies a helpless man who has to sort out his jobs and other worldly matters also
mil should avoid dil'small faults she shouldnt make it a big issue
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
so ..errm, moms should never marry their sons to girls who need their underwear washed?
I ve just said before that this not for the first time that mil and dil have differences and grudges against each other but they should try to avoid small things and make a big drama. I m sure husband also got hurt when he saw his mother crying infront of him even she was wrong but still he must be feeling restlessnes
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
4 Words: **MOVE THE EFF OUT! :halo:
**Bas.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
I think nadzz mentioned that she asked the maid to give her underwear a spin in the washer, right? So how does that mean that the maid had to wash the underwear herself? Nadzz may have been a little lazy in not throwing the underwear into the washing machine herself, but I don't think that warrants everyone throwing hissy fits about how she asked the maid to "wash" her undergarments.
Also, the bedsheet thing is just ridiculous.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
Undergarments should be washed by oneself and are unmentionables...true. I just find it odd that your kaamwali "besti"-ed your MIL over this...she could have just outright refused to wash them when you asked her to, esp if she's been with your in-laws for so long. If she can 'besti' your MIL about her bahu and all that, refusing to wash undergarments cos she finds it gross or whatever the reason shouldn't have been a big deal. =/
You should be smarter...you're living in someone else house and should follow their rules/requests no matter how ridiculous/annoying/b****y they seem. Like some previous posters have stated, you know your in-laws...if this was a problem before you should have been smart about it.
Anyhow, lucky your husband took your side. =P
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
What I don't get is why it's socially acceptable to wash men's boxers and jockeys, but a big taboo to wash a woman's "unmentionables"?
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
yeah i was wondering the same lol.. what is up with that? don't men have izzatssss
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
What on earth is besti?? It’s Beizzati people!!! 
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
But in Pakistan kamwali/ kapre dhone wali have to wash all cloths,...no?
If you have to wash the things we are talking about then why to hire a kaam wali?
Ok I understand everyone should wash their undergarments,
But for the first time I'm with Nadz here, with 2 small kids,feeding them,changing their dipers,running after them, how she will have time to wash her undergarments?
And Nadz hire a kaam wali for your self and your kids only,and let her wash your/kids/hubby's cloths.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
Besti- insult . I guess?
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
But in Pakistan kamwali/ kapre dhone wali have to wash all cloths,...no?
If you have to wash the things we are talking about then why to hire a kaam wali?
Ok I understand everyone should wash their undergarments,
But for the first time I'm with Nadz here, with 2 small kids,feeding them,changing their dipers,running after them, how she will have time to wash her undergarments?
And Nadz hire a kaam wali for your self and your kids only,and let her wash your/kids/hubby's cloths.
Thats what I don't get. You hire a kapray dhone wali. Pay her to wash your clothes. Why can't she just wash the undergarments too? It's not like she's gonna sit there and scrub them clean with her own hands. I'm pretty sure most homes in Pak have washers. If they can wash her husbands boxers khushi khushi then they can wash her kachis too.