so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

^^ add more.

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So what, Shak? No shame in that. The sad emoji shouldn't be there. At least not for that reason.

Well, I live at home; not something I'm ashamed of. There are other members here who may be divorced and living with their mummy and daddy ji. So will it then be said that they shouldn't be posting either as they couldn't make their marriage work?

I never understood the pride in having a succinctness of speech that is more often used to make jabs at others than anything remotely constructive. Who knows? Maybe that's among the primary and more consistent display of refinements that marriage+parenthood brings to certain individuals.

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Why should living alone or with mummy/daddyjis exclude someone from giving advice?
So does that mean people who live alone can only reply to threads of members who live alone? Married couples can only give advice to other married couples because they have forgotten the single life. Divorced people can only give advice to other divorced couples? Girls can only give advice to other girls and boys can only give advice to boys?
How is this fair?

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I don't see what is wrong with living with parents, having no relationships and giving advice. Living at home is a cultural thing. Nothing wrong with it. Just because someone has not had relationship doesn't mean they haven't observed relationships or friends haven't discussed relationships with them. Maybe their advice has helped. If single people are replying to married couple threads because they have more time and are putting in effort to give detailed advice it should be appreciated. Long comments show the person cares enough to write constructive comments. Short comments are good in their own way as well.

I know you get comments about your long posts. But i for one appreciate them. I think you give valuable advice. In your words i see the wisdom of Qurat-ul-Ain from Shanakht. I am not saying this as a random compliment because I don't do those anymore. I say it because i mean it. Your 4:1 ratio of likes received to given shows that others appreciate your well thought out comments.

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

^Sha, the comment or rather dig was not made by Shak as you can also check for yourself, nor was I hurt by it. And maybe it's because I've finally become immune to the "essay" dig from one specific poster at least. This particular harassment went stale a long time ago, now I just find it pathetic. I've put up with it long enough, so I thought why not return the favor with my own sentiments about the quality (if not quantity) of the brevity of which they are so, so, so very proud of ...and which also does not go unnoticed by others...any more than my length does.

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

I know it was made by Queer. I was empathising with Shak and not blaming him. Rather i was empathising with him as he is in the same boat.
Even if you are not hurt by it you shouldn't be subject to such constant digs. I wouldn't want it to discourage you from posting long comments. I actually like reading your long comments and i am sure others do. The only place where succinct replies are better is answering exam questions, official documents and where there is a word limit. None of that applies here so you should feel free to write as long as they want without being inhibited by others.

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

if you cant stop getting aag-baboola over a forum argument that doesnt even concern your life, how are you in anyway qualified to tell someone to calm down, be patient, think it over, etc etc to a person who has to deal with very real problems involving in laws, children etc? at best this makes you a voyeur.

as for single and sheltered people giving marital and relationship advice, again this is like learning to swim by reading a book. kinda like how you recommend shanakht all over the forum to everyone from chinese in xinjiang to policemen in new orleans. just no.

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Please dont mock Shanakht. I heard that in coming episodes, Usman Patel is going to play an important role.

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Well I learned some new things today. I was not aware that one HAD to be married in order to know that dragging your spouse by the hair is a no-no. And the variety relationships that we have had in our lives PRIOR to marriage could not possibly have taught us that frequent nagging and impatience will strain a relationship. There is no way we could have been exposed to these truths earlier on in life.

If this forum has not set prerequisites (such as marriage) for giving suggestions, then who the hell is anyone to set such preconditions and to have the nerve to mock (as is a usual habit for some) the members who don't meet those conditions (marriage and living away from parents).... when it is not in those members' control. Seriously.... It is not entirely in one's control that they are single and living with their parents.

Readers aren't blind; they can see who usually is the first to strike a match in the threads. So just stick to the acerbic one-liners, "pal" as opposed to exerting yourself with a paragraph that contains only barbs and no sense.

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Ok by that logic girls should not give advice to boys and boys should not give advice to girls because you can have no idea of how their life is. Divorced people should not give advice to married people. Married guys shouldn't give advice on single women threads etc? Where will it stop. I don't think you need a marriage certificate to give advice. How can anyone tell a single person is sheltered? I'm sure there are people who have had relationships like engagements etc before marriage which won't be mentioned here.

If something gives positive image to outsiders then no harm in recommending it. If i can recommend Shanakht to people in real life i can recommend it on GS.Females in hijab hardly get positive press in the West or in non-Muslim countries.
Nadz watches Shanakht anyway so it's not like i am mentioning anything new. Ive seen her comment on the Shanakht thread.

Not getting aag baboola over an argument. I am just stating my views. You don't like long comments I do and I was just expressing that to redvelvet. I only mentioned your name when it was thought i was referring to Shak. I have only given advice i thought was appropriate. It is up to Nadz to take whatever advice she wants. My advice consisted of giving her link to a women's helpline in case she needs it in the future or is in a situation of domestic violence. Obviously you cant tell from a thread how serious a situation is and her husband has apologised. Everything else i said not much different from what others have said. Everyone reading life1 and making light comments must be a voyeur as well.

Btw i was actually joking about sending Shanakht links to China. I know that won't actually change their mind,

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That will be exciting. He can play Faryal's gay best friend from the UK. Then he will transform her to Cinderella with his fairy magic :)

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

OK have we changed topic.??

Anyway the tone of the messages have changed.to me being beaten? Hain?
I do see the difference in what happened and being beaten.

I haven't apologized yet. I may do so soon but as.of yet I can't look at him. He isn't a bad guy at all. He has done a lot for me and has many.more good things.about him.than.bad
Even.this episode.feels.unreal. doesn't feel like it was him. I do wish we could be happy normal. And divorce won't help. The problem that I.have will still be there. I.don't want to be married
To anyone.

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

What is Shanakht?

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You will be fine. I see progress. Cheers.

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@RV

In one of your posts, which happened to be the longest, there were two lines between paragraphs.

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

It's all related. We're just discussing who can reply to your threads and if someone has to be married to reply to you. No one said you were beaten but just that it wasn't right to be physical with you. Now if you weren't hit and it was nothing big then I guess it's good it was nothing serious. No one has mentioned divorce but that you should both be respectful of each other's feelings. If he says something bad to you, you don't have to respond in same way. You can respond better and change his behaviour. If he says something demeaning, you can compliment him. Or if the MIL is not being nice to you, you can show that you are not like that and change her behaviour with respecting her and caring for her feelings. Initially it will be hard but eventually will be worth it. Not saying this randomly i've seen examples in my family where the girl had issues adjusting to the in laws and husband but transformed them with her behaviour and won their respect. Sorry to bring this up again but you watch Shanakht and I'm sure you can see Qurat-ul-Ain's behaviour and how initially her in laws did not warm up to her but eventually her patience, care and compassion won them over. IF you're going to make it work why not try this? Obviously violence is wrong and i am sure he has learnt his lesson from the apology.

What do you think your problems are? Do you think you need to talk to someone in real life about it? You don't want to be married to anyone or anyone else? No one mentioned divorce and it's probably not a good idea if things have been otherwise going well. I guess when you apologise to him mention all the good qualities you like about him. Do you have many good friends/family in Pakistan you can chat to and vent out your stresses with knowing it will be confidential. In my last comment i posted a link to a women's help line which is anonymous that you can talk to. they also have skype id. They can't make you do anything but if you want to vent out to someone maybe they can help.

That is all i have to say from my limited life experience.

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

I think it means distinguished. Its a pakistani drama Shanakht OST Song Hum Tv Drama - Video Dailymotion

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Is it good?

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

I though Shanakht meant identity…cuz your shanakhti card is your ID card. From the few snippets I’ve seen of the drama, that makes more sense than distinguished. But I could be wrong.

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I've only watched a few episodes but my parents have watched all of them. They say it is a great serial and I should watch it and learn from the character of Qurat-ul-Ain and how she deals with adversity in her life. Sometimes i can be impulsive and not see how my words will affect others. the character of Qurat-ul-Ain is more patient. They wanted to tell some middle eastern people we know who wear hijabs about it because it's such a powerful character. Only problem is they wouldn't know Urdu. I don't see anything wrong with learning from the positives of other people or other cultures. All cultures have some negatives but Pakistani culture has lot of good values similar to Indians. Me and my parents feel quite lucky and blessed that we can understand Urdu to be able to watch these dramas.
So i recommend watching it with oifu. :)