so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Lifestyle Relationships
181

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

But Qurat ul Ain’s husband never hit her. You should watch ‘Kankar’ for hitting husband. That is more relevant to this thread :snooty:

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Thanks for the correction. I think you are right. I googled it and i got different meanings. I have posted on the showbiz pakistan forum asking about the meaning. I think identity sounds more reasonable. It is her identity of wearing a hijab that is under attack by stereotypes people hold.

183

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

This thread made me think of Kankar too. But even though the husband was more at fault in kankar…many people had an issue with how Kiran was not given more accountability for her own behavior.

184

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Its good that you shared all this for catharsis and I know its not easy to take advice and then follow it as well. You know a lot about your relationship and I appreciate the way you came up with 'There are more good things about him than bad'. So, better way would be to avoid confronting. Its a simple principle that when someone is angry (for whatever reasons right or wrong), just don't add to his / her anger to make things worse and towards the actions that both parties regret later.

185

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

True but the hitting doesn’t define their relationship. Nadz said he has many good qualities. Faryal came from UK to Pakistan after marriage but she was always resistant to adjusting to the norms and culture of society. Never understanding her MIL’s views. She should have thought about this big change before accepting the marriage. Once you move to a new country some adjustment is required. You can’t change everything to how it is like in the West.
Besides, I like Qurat-ul-Ain’s character better and it is more recent drama. :slight_smile:
I will watch all of Kankar to compare.

186

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

The Shanakht redemption.

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Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write


I can see where you are coming from. For me it has an element of cultural change. In Shanakht one of the main characters moves from UK to Pakistan after marriage and she feels like a fish out of water. She never thought much about how different it would be culturally. She has to decide how much she should adjust to fit in and how much of her individuality she should retain. I feel there is an element of that in Nadz's story as well but I am a newcomer to Nadz's threads so I am not up to date with past threads.

188

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Will the redemption happen that is the question.

189

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Kankar: Kiran comes from the lower-class and married the wealthy (but very dull) Sikander who has a temper problem. Her husband had promised to attend a dinner hosted by her family but he came home late and exhausted from a very trying day at work and tells her he can't go. Kiran's family is depicted as easy-going folks who would not have minded if the couple could not make it to the dinner....but Kiran made it a huge deal. She could have opted to attend the dinner with her saas....but she is not shown to think of this possibility. She is also pregnant. He is tired. She keeps arguing with him and takes off the earrings he had gifted her and rudely throws them on the floor in front of him. Sikander, who is also materialistic, gets angry at her treatment of the gift. There's grabbing/pushing-shoving....she falls to the floor and has a miscarriage. He could have called to let her know the dinner was off. And though he was more wrong, she could have managed her temper too. When she marries her cousin, Adnan, she appears more subdued and does not argue the way she did when she was married to her former husband. Sikander was a jerk, no doubt, and his mistakes were highlighted and addressed time and time again in the drama...but strangely the importance of a wife also controlling her temper wasn't brought up. Funnily, the garrulous Rukhsar (whom the audience wanted to slap) was better tolerated by her husband and family. Maybe the director wanted to show that if the husbands of such annoying women as Rukhsar and Kiran's Tayi can tolerate them...then so can Sikander. :\

190

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Hello all,

With many apologies, I would like to correct myself. The name of Allah to be recited for unity between family members is "Ya Wadood" & not "Ya Muqeet".

Im outside and accidentally discovered this just an hour ago.

So sorry for any misinformation.

191

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Why considering divorce seriously should be on your list.

You’ve created a life of hell, not just for yourself but also your husband and very soon also for your children.

The only good thing about you creating these endless threads where you vanish and then come back with another story is; The double standards of people coming to the surface. :clap:

192

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Why don't you take a break? Is it possible for you to go somewhere for a couple of days with the kids? A relative's house even?

I think you should clear your head and think about what you want to do from here on forward.

193

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

now gs girls come to ....... i will give you some accurate advise on martial and pre-martial issues :D

p.s thanks kaka for some old memories...

194

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Of course it will. Nadz123 will be just fine.

Those who are advocating divorce - just stop. This is a one off thing - the pulling hair incident. It won't happen again. Out of character for husband.

Stuff happens.

195

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

LMAO. Indeed, indeed :smiley: the charm u see

nobody is advocating divorce based on this situation but the poor husband has rights too, she said herself she doesnt want to be married, why continue to mentally torture him then?

196

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Using your own logic, "nobody is saying the poor husband doesn’t have rights.

Nadz123 says a lot of things. Responsible people read between the lines.

Others take a statement here or there literally.

197

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

lol responsible people. No need to read between lines, her behaviour since she got married is pretty evident and since i am not in mood for ur circular replies, this will be the last reply. Cheers :)

198

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

I don't care what mood you are in. All I know is you belong in that taking literally category.

Right back at ya

199

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

I do NOT advocate violence between a husband or wife at all.

The OP posted something that basically indicated her husband beat her.

Then she disappears. then she re appears, with a short, a very short post.

The thread has become 11 pages long with the OP showing up/posting maybe 3-4 times.

i think her last post is where she states 'I do see the difference in what happened and being beaten"

So what is the real story.

Obviously this person has severe marital and family issues. None of you know her personally. You just know her stories.

It's a pattern, where she posts one thing, does a disappearing act, re-surfaces , posts something else. Vanishes. Then to re-appear with another new thread.

She, and only she can decide what she wants in her life.

200

Re: so he hit me. dnt kniw what else to write

Don't worry Southie, Nadz is smarter than that. She is not going to implement any advice from here anyway because even she knows better. You don't need to worry and get your BP high vigh :D