hey, ok thanks for the posts guys.
Im not scared of my inlaws they are not bad people, yes MIL is still defending her son indirectly, and i do think shes a stirrer not a solver, my owm mum when she heard us argue ONCE sat us down together and made us talk it out. his mum is telling me and obviously must be telling him to STAY AWAY from each other for days…she is telling me to not talk to him, stay awya from him for a while. i do feel she stirs it, ive seen her face when me and him used to want to go out to eat or just go out she never encouraged us to go out together, always had a face on. so it smy fault for calling her. i can call my mum, yet i dont wish to worry her and itl just sound wrong on the phone, its best for me to back and talk to her.
i am going back, beginning of oct. my plan was that anyway, and his mum is saying just go then not now khushi khushi jao aise mat jao…itl make worse. who knowsshe may have a point., however at the moment we are not talking anyway.
as for the abuse…i dono. yes lately hes always angry, his own mum said it too. who knows maybe i pushed it. wether he pushed or not im pregnant. and thats it.** i do hate him. hes enver done this before, even when ive pushed him or instigated a fight sometimes i did out of being emotional provoke him and he stil didnt.** so i wouldnt say hes someone who likes or wants to hit when even slightly provoked. ive seen violent cases where men hit ANYWAY wether they provoked or not, im not ntrying to defend my husband for no reason. bu ive seen him control himself when ive provoked him alot. so this is true.
yet the incident the other day i did feel was too much, if i hadnt been preg, i may have been less worried, yes u dont hit women anyway, but seeing as im always going on about being equal at times i dont see him just as a man but as someone whose irritating me, same he may not see me as a woman but someones whose irritating him.
again, im only telling you guys what i think about him as i know him better. but still, i cant forgive what he did that day.
i cant talk to him, we are not talking and i dont wish to at the moment. his mum did say she told him never to hit a woman etc etc etc but i dont know if i beleive her, she does lie i think, and she def stirs it.
I dont know what to do. i am going back thats definate. his mum knows it too. the plan was to come back in april next year. i am thinking of going back and then telling them im not coming back again. it may break our marriage if we are ok again, i dont know but im so miserable here, i dont want to come back. I have no idea wat to do. im pretty sure my mum would also say make ur marriage work as he is otherwise a good guy. and i know he is. but he has a anger issue at the moment, could be joblessness could be other things.
i do feel that since hes been back with his own family hes changed. he has more tameez with me back in the uk. now he feels as hes the laadla he can do whatever he wants and his actions will be defended. his mum was saying yday how it was wrong of me to stay with my parentsd after marriage and she went off on anothr lecture on how we ake up late here and how shes a bimaar aurat and u lot always in ur room, u dnt care for this n that and how she even if her legs r breaking will get up and make tea for her husband, how i dont do that, so as im not running around aftetr my husband im lazy, and the reason her husband looks after her NOW is because she was his slave for the last 25 years…and shes proud of this.
what pees me off is she calls this choti choti baatein…why do they call this choti baatein. i did sai to her if ur daughter was hit, pir bi choti baatein hai…she tried to say something else then.
i think i hate her more than i hate him. she makes things worse. and i dnt trust her and im sure shes giving him ulti advice for which i have no proof.
