ok read carefully and reply accordingly please nothing on impulse, i want some serious advice.
so i gave him his dinner, and i coudltn help but tell him not to speak to me disrespectfully infront of others, it kinda spiralled out of control where he said he wasnt, he was already angry, started saying that i asked u if there was salt in it u said no, and then later u said u did put salt, whatever, i said i coudlve forgotten, anyway, i then said fasting isnt just to stay hunry theres more to it, he said oh yeh ur so perfect…etc etc he then told me to get out of his face, he was rude, angry, so i pushed the water bottle to the side angrily, it didnt even toucn him and if it did it was already on the floor i merely punched it aside.
i got up to leave, he then hit me…pushed me forcefully, im cant remember if it was a hit, or a puush but it was the same thing. he has raised his hand. so i pushed him back and hit him and in the process his buttons on shirt came off…think he backed off or i did cant remember he did do it once more i think, then i ran and called his mum.
well as much as she could, she took his side. she said u mustve done something, said something…typcial response, she said AGAR isne maara hai hes wrong…so she didnt beleive he did. he said he didnt, he said i was the one who ripped his buttons. he said he only lightly pushed me…his mum most liklely believes him even though she knws his anger is aggressive. she says he hasnt got a job thats why maybe hes angry, hes angry with everyone, etc defending his actions. he then walked out the room and walked out the house. his mum brought him back in, when i walked out the room he was sitting there his mum and sis there too, god knows what story he was telling them.
im sure he must be telling them stories cos his mum said i know u two fight people have told me, who? it cant be anyone but him. his mum said its not him, but i dnt beleive her.
hes the one who ran to my mum as well to tell her once we had a big fight.
i said i wana go back, he said go i dont care, his mum again said why do u always say u wana go back, no wonder hes fed up…excuse me..?
THE THING is all they cared about was his damn buttons, no one even thought about me whose 5month preg losing my baby had he hit/pushed me harder …hes a ************* and i want to leave. his mum said once ur father inlaw told me to leave as well, just cos i burnt some food…and she defended him by sayingim a woman we have to compromise, i didnt leave how can i leave, so what if they get angry…shes a typcial paki mentality pathetic thinking woman i cant believe it. but then i guess my own mum wont exactly encourage me to leave either.
i want to leave him. i hate him now. but its not easy. i dont know what to do now. advise seriously and pls tel me realisticlaly what i can do…thanku.
she dont, i mean as in i kept saying iwana go i wana go, so she tried to calm me by saying ok not now though, marriages dont go away like this, u cant just go etc etc blahhh
she dont, i mean as in i kept saying iwana go i wana go, so she tried to calm me by saying ok not now though, marriages dont go away like this, u cant just go etc etc blahhh
tell your mother about it .. see wat is her advise. how can your husband hit you when he knows you are pregnant.
thats the thing, and he thinks he didnt hit me.....i dnt know what to think. and i dnt wana call mum yet, as firsdtly shel go mad with stress and secondly the fone is in the main room everyone will hear me and pick up the other landline...
i dont mean to downplay anything but nadz u urself dont seem too sure whether he hit u or pushed u ...so if you can force urself to remember what it was exactly maybe u wud get better advice
and whatever he did ...did he do it deliberately or was it by accident?
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im cant remember if it was a hit, or a puush but it was the same thing. he has raised his hand.
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oh...now you finally got the 'point'...based on which you can go back home........
i say book a ticket ASAP..and leave the hell hole..........he pushed you...... there is no going back for him now.............this is physical abuse of worst kind........i think you can base a divorce case on it too...good luck
I think if he did hit her, she should leave. Say you want to be with your mother during the pregnancy. I don't think you can travel in ur third trimester. Who's bright idea was it for you to leave the UK and go to pakistan?
Is ur guy from there? Or here?
If you need contact the local British embassy I can give you the details just make sure any nadra card or dual nationality is cut in the top corner.
I know that once a man raises his hand to you, he won't stop.
So if this is the case, keep a mobile with you, ur passport and some money hidden. If they don't let you leave you may have to on your own accord with the help of the British embassy.
I think....its high time a 'kidnap' case is to be registered in UK and the UK high commission in Pakistan needs to involve local police to ensure her and her child's safety........and take her home.
I think if he did hit her, she should leave. Say you want to be with your mother during the pregnancy. I don't think you can travel in ur third trimester. Who's bright idea was it for you to leave the UK and go to pakistan?
Is ur guy from there? Or here?
If you need contact the local British embassy I can give you the details just make sure any nadra card or dual nationality is cut in the top corner.
I know that once a man raises his hand to you, he won't stop.
So if this is the case, keep a mobile with you, ur passport and some money hidden. If they don't let you leave you may have to on your own accord with the help of the British embassy.
are you serious? yaar they are not some criminals who she needs to feel so threatened by c'mon...by how rocky their relationship has been its not really surprising that an argument got so heated that he pushed/hit her...
if he pushed her that is what if he was just walking past her and accidentally pushed her in the process or even if he did push her im not saying its right but depends on how hard he pushed her if he meant to hurt her and also whether he hit or or whether he pushed her... if he hit her it is serious but if it was a light/accidental push is it serious enough to leave ?
i wud be the first one to advise a person to leave if they are suffering abuse... but in this case for some reason i feel hesitant in giving this advice
nadz
Just ask one thing to yourself, do you feel threatened by your husband's behaviour? If yes then you should leave.
what does ur mil say dontgo now go now inki eid bhar me jaye well o mil believes wahts a bahoo has to say ve ur nic pasport money not necessary come out of there!!!
I think hitting a woman is bad... Hitting a pregnant woman is even worst, but Pushing a pregnant woman can do the most damage. He is trying to defend himself saying " he pushed you lightly" thats is something very serious given that you r 5 months intro preg now. At this point its important to make him realize that he is wrong.
On the other hand, how did his buttons fell off ? you must have got physical too. If he is being a bad father here then atleast you shld care and avoid any physical fight rather then pushing it more.
I have a short term and long term advice here.
Short term, you must make him realize that he was wrong to push you (either by confronting him, moving back to UK or any other kind of boycotts) boycott means silence treatment here not boycotting food, since you need to eat healthy for sake of your baby.
Long term, This is first year of your marriage, its like a toothing baby. It is the hardest year for most couples. If this one goes through well coming years will be easier. I hope you can sort things out and he realizes that if he job comes after family.
You need to take a break from them be it in a different room , in a different house not a different country
Cool down and let him realise what he has done and also understand where you might have gone wrong
I can think of a situation where I hit my hubby in anger and he laughed it off but if he had hit me back yes it would have hurt but then I would have thought .. wait a minute wasn't I wrong in instigating it in some way..
I'm not saying be a pushover but understand he needs to learn his lesson but you walking out on "your"family will cause problems for you right now..
Either of you running to your mums is not the way to resolve issues, the less they are involved the better IMO