Re: Sister-in-laws
cheers
Re: Sister-in-laws
thats so true.....what my mom tells my sisters...
she goes "ur lucky that you dont live with them.....so when u do see them...just keep quiet and put up with it....some people have it a lot worse...be thankful ur in-laws are not like some of the evil ones out there"
Re: Sister-in-laws
Its not about being quiet and putting up with it. Its about the fact that petty stuff is not worth your time, and you should be above it to let it bother you. Granted, if it continues and gets out of hand, then a smart verbal thappar here and there would be well deserved.
By no means am I promoting any female to take on the role of a quiet saccrificial sheep.
Re: Sister-in-laws
Why do women say/do such nasty things to each other?
Re: Sister-in-laws
^What are women for (just kidding)
Re: Sister-in-laws
Because we, just like men, have an inherent desire to compete and win. Feeds our egos. This is common to most humans. The base desires, being selfish, wanting all the spotlight, etc etc.
So, whereas guys tend to get that negative energy out by competing at work, in their careers, school, etc. Females get that negative energy out by competing with other women, because lets face it, most desi women don't work!
:)
I get mine out at school and work. Hence, in my family, I'm not the one usually creating problems.
Re: Sister-in-laws
By no means am I promoting any female to take on the role of a quiet saccrificial sheep.
i dont see anything wrong with staying quiet if you barely see them. It's out of respect for your husband....it's his family no matter what....and im sure he'd appreciate it more if you ignore it and send them on their merry way without the bitterness.
there are ways of handling situations with your in-laws without a thappar or using brutal words...you just gotta be smart about it. once you ruin the relationship...it's gone for good and it puts your husband in a very akward position for the rest of your lives (if the marriage even lasts that long).
Re: Sister-in-laws
That is a very shallow statement. By no means women who work do not fight or backbite and most of the women these days in desi families do work. I think it is just human nature of some who feel to fulfill their inner insecurities and inadequacies by harming other people, physically and/or emotionally. Cheap people do cheap things, simple.
Re: Sister-in-laws
agreed 100%
and no matter how educated and how many hrs you work.....the cheapness in some is just innate
Re: Sister-in-laws
I agree, the cheapness is still there, but the working female then gets that vented out at work.
By the time you get home from work, you're usually too tired to take stupid familial issues seriously. Whereas, if you're not working, sometimes you might end up making a big deal out of something when you wouldn't have normally if you were keeping yourself busy.
Re: Sister-in-laws
So, whereas guys tend to get that negative energy out by competing at work, in their careers, school, etc. Females get that negative energy out by competing with other women, because lets face it, most desi women don't work!
:)
I get mine out at school and work. Hence, in my family, I'm not the one usually creating problems.
You are completely wrong. Get your head out the clouds, women who work are not always smarter, more cultured, or better than the ones who don't work.
Re: Sister-in-laws
^Of course they are, They are the dumb paindu's.
Re: Sister-in-laws
You've misunderstood Sara, I'm not saying women who don't work are beqaar. Its just that the ones who make more mischief are usually the ones who don't have anything to do with themselves.
Re: Sister-in-laws
By the time you get home from work, you're usually too tired to take stupid familial issues seriously. Whereas, if you're not working, sometimes you might end up making a big deal out of something when you wouldn't have normally if you were keeping yourself busy.
agreed.....
of course there are some exceptions (both ways)...some women who stay at home do/can keep busy as well...those that dont are just lazy
Re: Sister-in-laws
totally agree 
Re: Sister-in-laws
those of u who are rating their sister-in-laws as bad , please see how good of sister-in-laws are u urselves.
i am appalled that this is still true for the current generation of marrying couples.
men, would always love to enjoy women fighting any way. it makes them unnecessarily important.
wife has her right over her husband, sister has her right over her brother.
common human decency must never be thrown away by anyone, after the delicate in-law relationships are formed.
befriending is hard, but it is much better than living on poisoned hearts and minds.
Re: Sister-in-laws
maut ka farishta? 
I have 3 sister in-laws but i guess question is loaded towards “females and their sister in laws” and not “males and their sister in-laws”, right?
Re: Sister-in-laws
I have 3 sister in-laws but i guess question is loaded towards "females and their sister in laws" and not "males and their sister in-laws", right?
i dont think men are as bothered by their sister-in-law as much as women are or at least they are more inclined to ignore them. correct me if im wrong?
women always have problems with other women....what a shame!!
Re: Sister-in-laws
^ you are damn right only if I would have said that, tu abhee saree female guppies nai maira jeena haram ker daina tha :)
I actually have a very good relationship with my sister in laws. All 3 are younger than me and I guess that also helps in having a good relationship.
One of them is the student of same field that I am working in from last 8-9 years so she is more frank to me than others because we talk a lot. Whenever she has some problem/question, she rings me. All 3 never forgets my birthdays and I always receive cards from them on my BD (nah not electronic cards but paper cards). I am a tea addict and cups never stop coming when I am at my susral :)
When I am in Pakistan, I take them out for dinner, ice cream, shopping etc etc
Re: Sister-in-laws
I have 1 sil and well since we got married she has been very quiet but in the period our rishta thing was going on and later when we were engaged she was very much in the centre and wanted to take over the control from her family's side and behaved very werid and rude with me.
However she has only met us a few times since we came back from our honeymoon . She doesnt call me so I assume that either she is busy or she doesnt want to disturb the newly wed couple or maybe she just doesnt want to talk to me. But I found out that she emailed her bro namely my husband about stuff that she wants to convince him to and that she knew that I wasnt very willing to do ...so I found that being a little too much..though I havent said anything to my husband and since he valued my opinion in that case as it was our private matter I didnt find any reason to argue on what she had said/done...
I dont know how to handle her cuz I mostly feel that something is going on in her mind and she has hidden agenda with things she do or say to me so I have actually not done quiet much to keep in touch with her and I do worry about my husband's thoughts on this and me. But I dont know how to cope with the feeling of uncertainty when I talk to her so I feel better off when I am silent.