How do you feel about girls moving out of their parents home or moving sufficiently far away from family and living alone in a city?
Inappropriate?
Would you judge a woman like that to be possibly sexually promiscuous as in , her parents don’t know what’s going on.
Would that affect your intent to marry a woman?
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
The above question is meant to gather some males perspective BUT to think of any woman as sexually promiscuous is just so nasty and indecent. Unless and until we don't have any soild proof it's a huge thing to think about any woman.
My perspective is I wouldn't think of any such thing about a woman living on her own far away from her family. It's cheap thinking. I know many Pakistani family would think that way but it's stupid bcuz jis nay ghalat kaam karna hai woh family kay sath rahtay huay bhi kar sakta hai.
I would never stop my brother or any other male member of my family to marry a woman living alone.
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
good question, i've always wondered the same thing. but men will answer according to their open-mindedness. there are those who believe if a young woman moves away from home, she must be up to no good. and then there are those who understand that somtimes the moving away may be for educational or occupational purposes and it shouldn't be labeled as inappropriate.
i know of girls who abuse the privilege of dorming in college, and i know of girls who are away from their family solely because the school they want to attend is far away from home. all in all, whether or not a woman lives with her family isn't enough to judge her character.
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
Not necessarily. If they're a certain age its not unexpected to follow their careers. It might raise eyebrows if she lived in a diff apartment but in the same area as her parents and is out of school. I think these women tend to be a bit more independent, and that might deter people. But if you, pcg, are living by yourself away from family, then there's a lesser chance that you would get a rishta via family connections simply because u are not present. You would have to find someone that is also living alone in the city etc.
How do you feel about girls moving out of their parents home or moving sufficiently far away from family and living alone in a city?
Inappropriate?
Would you judge a woman like that to be possibly sexually promiscuous as in , her parents don't know what's going on.
Would that affect your intent to marry a woman?
There are so many girls are moving out of home for work or education, i do not think anyone with right frame of mind would think about the sexually promiscuous.
It all depend of girls general outlook.
How do you feel about girls moving out of their parents home or moving sufficiently far away from family and living alone in a city?
Why should it matter what anybody else thinks?
If you have good reason to move out (job or school), then whats the big deal?
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
PCG, tum sochti buhut ho... would you move back into your parents' house just so that the potential marriage material guys would think you were pure? I'm sure you wouldn't so why bother about it.
Why should it matter what anybody else thinks?
+1
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
I think alot really depends on the woman herself ...
I have two examples :
A pakistani girl, moved to the UK for studies .. later got on a job and started living a good life away from family. Soon she started going to clubs , wearing clothes that would leave her half naked, be out of the house until late night , started smoking as well occasionally and had boy visitors to her apartment whome she used to class as friends .
she used to complain immensely that people class her as "rough" and "has character issues" ..when clearly all she was doing was living an independent life !
On the other hand, another girl , comes to the UK in similar situation, gets a job and lives on her own . But doesnt forget her values, dresses appropriately, lets people know around her she has well guarded boundaries and not everyone can come to her place, had a life that revolved around work and home , and occasional outing with friends but never late out nights ....
I always heard her saying that she got proposals where she was told , she was liked coz she had strong character and morals .
Women moving out on their own , is not wrong in my opinion, but how she handles her independence , makes all the different in the world .
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
many girls move out and live alone sometimes to get education, sometimes for better career option and I dont think there is anything wrong in it.
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
no one really thinks about htese things ... sometimes i wonder how these kinda things even come up .... the grl lives alone or with parents who cares ...does not really guarantee that shez not promiscuous either way
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
I agree with Chicken Biryani and the two scenarios she gave.
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
these days its not such a big deal because girls move away for work/education reasons and it shouldnt even be an issue but some of the older generation can be a bit funny about it. i know someone who wouldnt let her son marry a girl he liked because she lived alone away from home.
this part from CB hits the nail on the head... Women moving out on their own , is not wrong in my opinion, but how she handles her independence , makes all the different in the world .
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
to me that is a positive thing, that shows she is confident and independant and thus openminded, now on the other hand thinking about how she might be promiscuous, well i know quiet a few girls who live on their own for multiple reason and to be honest are much more reserved and religious, so if someone thinks that freedom means more sex or promiscuity that says a lot about themselves ;)
P.S Majority of the girls that i know who are living by themselves are for some reason control freaks and that is the only negative i can think off.
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
btw, i dont know if its just me...but i think living alone takes alot of guts....guys or girls...but esp girls..cz usually we go from our parents home to our husbands, and nothing in between
btw, i dont know if its just me...but i think living alone takes alot of guts....guys or girls...but esp girls..cz usually we go from our parents home to our husbands, and nothing in between
that is generally the more acceptable transition :D
But if i get the papers sorted out in florida i will be living on my own :D
many girls move out and live alone sometimes to get education, sometimes for better career option and I dont think there is anything wrong in it.
Definitely and I do think more and more people have these views now a days. Even the elder generation. Most people want their children to get educated and be successful. But what if you live in the middle of nowhere and there are no schools.. OR JOBS??? Or what if you desire to study at a prestigious university which is far away from you and you get accepted?
I have lived on my own since I graduated from high school for this very reason (almost 8 yrs!).... and even my traditional relatives that live in Pakistan are understanding of this. The desi community in my area is as well... well obviously because everyone's kids are in the same boat (that there is nothing in our area) and had to move away. I never had a problem with rishta's or guys judging me for living on my own either. It was just a non-issue.
As CB says - Its not about whether you have moved out or not... but its what you do with that independence and how you behave and carry yourself.
btw, i dont know if its just me...but i think living alone takes alot of guts....guys or girls...but esp girls..cz usually we go from our parents home to our husbands, and nothing in between
I completely agree with this ... and particularly hard for women who uphold their Islamic values .. and one needs a very strong character to be able to say no to the wrong things.
Re: Single Pakistani Women on their Own
^ its still more acceptable for guys to be living alone, than Girls i think....just look at all the dudes who move from pakistan to US (or UK/canada etc)...they usually live alone or with friends and not family
^ its still more acceptable for guys to be living alone, than Girls i think....just look at all the dudes who move from pakistan to US (or UK/canada etc)...they usually live alone or with friends and not family
I was friends with girls who were in US, living alone studying and/or working (even in 1999/2000) although I agree that those friends of mine were from what we classify as high class elite from Pakistan. Slowly its becoming more acceptable even in middle class now (if there is any such thing)