OP, on one hand, you mentioned that you say you have nothing to do with your husband and, on the other hand, you called the girl's brother who believed every word you told him. he advised you to save your marriage. do you think this marriage is worth saving?
i think you should have a final word with your husband. tell her how you feel and how uncomfortable you are with him being so close to the girl. if he mends his ways, fine! if not, make a firm decision and move out of his house or kick him out from your house.
After reading your thread, your husband seems unfaithful because he has been hiding things from you.. When the girl is calling you that means she is very close to ur husband that he was able to share ur fight with her. She might be flirting with ur husband for time pass and clearly understands that there is no future with him.... The only way to save your marriage is to clear out ur expectations front of ur husband. He needs to behave the way you want to earn the trust back otherwise your marriage will be a big mess.
Don't involve too many people. Have a talk with your husband because he has a direct connection with u... I think you made a big mistake by talking to girl's brother. That was very wrong of you.
I think your husband is flirting but not necessarily having an affair where he is promising the other girl a future.... You are jealous right now about him being closer to her and etc (feeding him sweet)... I still feel that your husband does not have any intimiate relationship but he has definitely been unfaithful to u by not being honest. You can still save your marriage but you need to clear out ur expectations else tell him bye bye because he has hurt u enough....
Please help me I thought I would be strong it's been few hours now I've seen the DVD my head is spinning so much my children are asleep I'm too scared I think I'm losing my mind I m scared ask help from my Gp the social services will take my children away from me I don't think I'm capable to look after them anymore
Don't contact the Gp. You're not in a sound state of mind to do that. You are doubting your ability to raise your children because you are emotionally overwhelmed and everything about the present and future appears unreasonably impossible and very scary right now. But you have been raising your children for all these years up to this point, so you are capable. Don't make any major decisions right now. Don't take rash steps such as leaving the home yourself along with the kids or kicking the husband out. Whether you decide to separate from your husband or to give your marriage one last chance.....both decisions require a lot of time, energy, and planning. That said....don't make any decisions right now. Consider calling your siblings for emotional support. Or prayer for some peace of mind.
Please start praying so your mental state can be stable. You really need Allah's help at this moment. He will give you peace, strength, and make ways for you. The best medicine is praying your heart out to Allah. One of my cousins went through the same situation but she gave him a last chance because both families were involved and husband's friends convinced him for his wrongdoings which was a hard work to make him realize. He had to put his hand on the Quran and she started trusting him gradually and he changed his behavior. They are Ma Shaa Allah very happy now! A lot of times women start exaggerating but I am not saying it is true in your situation. You are suspecting him for cheating but I think he is scared of you, therefore, men start lying to their wives because they understand how the wife is so shukki and can't stand him interacting with an opposite sex or jealous type. I think your relationship needs ton of work but it can become better if he listens to you and meet your expectations. Don't rush into decision because you need a calm brain to analyze everything. Right now, your mind is only thinking negative and making assumptions. Do you do any fun activities? They help a lot with stress and becoming normal. Allah puts us through many severe tests but we are capable of handling them all. We humans don't even know how strong we are. Don't worry, everything will be good. Just be a brave woman. Think rationally and not emotionally. Remember, he also need his kids so they are your weapon. Make a list about what you want in this relationship and what you don't want. Share it with him and see what he has to say which will help you make ur decision. If he loves his kids, he will do anything to save this marriage. If not, it is his biggest loss of life.
Please... do yourself and your kids a favour. Go and speak to your family, if available. Are your parents around or any of your siblings? sit down with them and discuss what can be done.
I'm willing to forgive and forget because I love him and now he has switched his phone off its killing me please pray for me I get to tell him I'm willing to forget.
Thank you all for your kind advice.
I'm willing to forgive and forget because I love him and now he has switched his phone off its killing me please pray for me I get to tell him I'm willing to forget.
No... Girl, dont forgive and forget.... You really need to take this matter seriously else your relationship won't change. You have to clear out your expectations so he can be faithful to you. See if he listens. Stop acting emotionally and taking frequent decisions. Not a good approach to let go off this matter by saying you love him and you will forget. Work on making this relationship better.
No... Girl, dont forgive and forget.... You really need to take this matter seriously else your relationship won't change. You have to clear out your expectations so he can be faithful to you. See if he listens. Stop acting emotionally and taking frequent decisions. Not a good approach to let go off this matter by saying you love him and you will forget. Work on making this relationship better.
I know what you mean but When I put the DVD on my children seen their dad and were hugging the tv and calling out daddy I think I'm being selfish to think about myself I have to put my children first.
I know what you mean but When I put the DVD on my children seen their dad and were hugging the tv and calling out daddy I think I'm being selfish to think about myself I have to put my children first.
Have you involved your own family yet before the situation gets worse? From what I know, he hasn't returned your call. Make sure that you have the quality to be very patient. Don't make any conclusions please!...
Put yourself first along with your kids. It is him who needs to change his ways so you can trust him again since he has been lying to you. Trust is missing in your relationship which will take many years to build. It requires effort and nourishment from both sides.
Have you involved your own family yet before the situation gets worse? From what I know, he hasn't returned your call. Make sure that you have the quality to be very patient. Don't make any conclusions please!...
Put yourself first along with your kids. It is him who needs to change his ways so you can trust him again since he has been lying to you. Trust is missing in your relationship which will take many years to build. It requires effort and nourishment from both sides.
My sisters only know they said the same thing to me what your saying and they deleated his number from my phone so I don't give in that easily and Wait for his call and see if he is willing to work this marriage out.
That women's brother is involved and I trust him he said he will make sure his sister stays away and he told me to not break this marriage so that's why I'm thinking to give our marriage a chance.
You are right it does take years last time he cheated on me 7 years ago but he was honest then he wanted to take a second wife then I asked for divorce so he didn't went ahead with it.
My sisters only know they said the same thing to me what your saying and they deleated his number from my phone so I don't give in that easily and Wait for his call and see if he is willing to work this marriage out.
That women's brother is involved and I trust him he said he will make sure his sister stays away and he told me to not break this marriage so that's why I'm thinking to give our marriage a chance.
You are right it does take years last time he cheated on me 7 years ago but he was honest then he wanted to take a second wife then I asked for divorce so he didn't went ahead with it.
Please involve your parents because it is important that they understand what you are going through! They will be very hurt if you have made them oblivious to your hardships. The change in your husband won't happen that easily and you need people to get his head straight. Him hanging out with that girl without your consent is very unacceptable. Don't make any decision... The elderly people will help you both patch up and live a new life. What happened 7 years ago?