My husband cheated on me 3 times in the last 16 years of our marriage I forgave him because our family got involved.
He went pakistan for his brother wedding and his sister in laws niece come to help and stayed 2 Weeks anyway I knew she was there so I warned my husband to stay away from her as she is bad news.
The next thing I know he has been very close with her I heard from other member of family I then confronted him on the phone he said he was only helping her with the wedding.
The wedding finished and she went home she lives 1 hour away.
After few days my husband phone was switched off I phoned his mum she said he left for my brothers mother in law house which 4 hour away so I rang my brother mother in law who is my auntie if my husband reached there and they said no. I then rang him today 3am his phone was on ringing but he would not answer I rang him 3 times but he still would not ansar and then he switched it off. He answered his phone at 6am and he said his phone ha no reception and was on silent I asked him when he left his own house he said just now I shouted at him I said your lying I know where you are at that ***** house he admitted it and said he went to visit the ***** old father and he stayed the night. I know he stayed there because of her and god knows what happen between them as she has very old parents.
I have now given him choice to book his seats in 1 week and come straight home to save our marriage
I am so depressed and thinking what he will do now I have threatened him I will disclose this matter to his family and her family he swears nothing happened but I know he is lying.
I am sick of his lies.
Tomorrow I wil find out about his decesion Shall I stick to my decision if he doesn’t come back I should finish with him? Please advise.
I know that you might have more reasons than listed in your post that he has been cheating on you, but at least at the face value of your post, it looks more like a speculation on your part than an absolute truth that he is doing that.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
He sounds like revolting man if it's true - sorry. Are there kids involved? If not then leave him.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
A phrase u should have learned 16 yrs ago. Sorry.
So not true
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
I have four children that's one of the reason for forgiving him but now I can't take it anymore.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
So not true
Maybe not always, but in her case its close enough
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
you should start cheating too
adn then you guys have an open marriage
and alls good 
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
I forgot to mention she phoned me and tellin me nothing happened between them and I said how dare you ring me I can't believe it he contacted her.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
I don't want to boast about it but I would never cheat on him as I have strong faith I know Allah swt testing me and I was planning to go hajj this year.
What worries me is my old mum she won't be able to take it if I leave him.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
I don't want to boast about it but I would never cheat on him as I have strong faith I know Allah swt testing me and I was planning to go hajj this year. What worries me is my old mum she won't be able to take it if I leave him.
you dont wanna do what he does
then leave him....n go on hajj!
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
Yes insha Allah I will go hajj I will try and make my mum understand thiS life is a test and she shouldn't think about what will people say.
Hmmm. Dont jump to that decision yet.
How is he otherwise with you? Is he a good provider? How is he as a father?
Sick and tired of my husband cheating
A marriage without trust and respect is no marriage worth keeping IMO. You seriously need to think about the example that is being set for your 4 children. Is this the healthiest environment for them? Sometimes, the effort put into "keeping the family together" is actually more detrimental in the long run.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
I forgot to mention she phoned me and tellin me nothing happened between them and I said how dare you ring me I can't believe it he contacted her.
What TLK said. I had the same thoughts as him....that there must be details about past problems you've had with your husband (that you've omitted) which lead you to feel so certain that he's cheating on you, but based solely on the limited information provided in your post....it could be speculation because you have no solid proof for what happened on his end even if he was at that girl's home.
You need to listen to his side of the story. Without any hard, concrete evidence....it would be wrong of you to tarnish that girl's reputation before the entire family (much less your husband's) especially if she's innocent. That said, slow down.
The girl didn't have to call you, but she did and you were closed-minded with her, so that means you won't make the effort to listen to your husband with an open-mind. I don't think it's common for the "other woman" to call the wife to explain that nothing happened. That rarely happens. Usually the "other woman" will call to tell the wife that her husband did have an affair with her. Have you thought about it from this angle, Shareen?
Maybe Allah is testing to see if you will surrender to suspicion without evidence or if you can rise above that. I am not saying that your husband is 100% innocent, but you need to slow down and keep an open mind. Your husband might have track record of cheating on you that even the rest of the family could be aware of.......but if this woman is innocent, it would be a gunnah for you to tarnish her image.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
did he really cheat before or were they also like this?
Sick and tired of my husband cheating
In the beginning it will be hard for her but she will come to accept it. If you can't live with this person and feel he is not even a good father then don't ruin your life for anyone. Help your mum understand and as long as you are sure about what you want from this marriage then do what you need to do.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
did he really cheat before or were they also like this?
This is a very important question and to expand on it, in the past you have said he cheated on you. Did you know because you caught him red handed, or perhaps he confessed to you, or is it similar to this where he acted maybe somewhat shady (turning the phone off/on, not saying where he was going etc) and it lead you to believe that he cheated? If it is the former where you know for sure, then you should seriously consider leaving him, but if it's all been based on suspicion, then you have to talk to him about not being so shady.
Living with someone with whom you have constant doubts will eat you up inside. I don't know how you've done it for 16 years. I hope things sort out for you and your family.
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
I'm sorry you're going through this :(
Re: Sick and tired of my husband cheating
Only you know what you really need to do. He does not seem like a 'good' husband based on this very short description of him. I think before you do take that step of leaving him, you should have a very serious and honest conversation with him about how you feel and tell him that you will leave him if he continues his ways, also use this time to hear his side of the story.
Basically do everything in a way where you wont regret making a hasty decision later on. Make sure you know what you are doing.
Wish you all the best, inshAllah everything will get better for you.